Muthafuckas don't know that they're insane. You know they're insane, but them themselves? Not so much. I try to remember that when I'm at work, because it makes my interaction with insane people go a lot smoother. I mean, how can you get mad at someone who doesn't know better?
So, when I'm sitting at my desk trying to make sure people get their homes assessed for flood damage so that they can potentially qualify for FEMA (ha!) aid, I can ignore my secretary busting in the door like the building is on fire to ask me if I want some doughnuts somebody brought. Hell, I can even ignore the loud black receptionist who's obviously on a personal call during this mini-emergency. Well, either she's on a personal call or she's telling a resident about what the doctor found whilst fiddling around her vajayjay. It could be either one of those, right? It's not like we don't have a multi-million dollar budget and we're called to recoup half that operating budget through fees, permits, inspections and citations all of which must be handled by the receptionists. Oh, wait a minute, it IS like that!
I'm able to forgive bouts of insanity by all my staff, like my staff person who thinks it's OK for her husband to come visit her EVERY MORNING with their two small kids. Yeah, I get that you miss that smelly bitch, but EVERY MORNING? She just left home, dude!
What I'm not able to ignore is Wispy. Wispy is like the office "Glenn Close". She will not be ignored. She comes in my office squealing on everybody. She's got on a "No Snitching" t-shirt with a Ghostbusters line drawn through it. Not literally, but damn, she was tellin' on everybody. She ended her tirade by crying REAL TEARS because the other receptionists hate her. They hate her because she's better at her job than they are. I foolishly ask "It's not because they know you tell on them?" Heaven's to Betsy! No! That's not it! It's jealousy, according to the wispy one. "I was talking to them about Cloris Leachman on Dancing with The Stars and they just ignored me!" Big, huge, super teardrops started poring out then. It was amazing.
"Wispy, I can't make them like you, but anything that affects the function of this office, I'll address."
She walked out of the office crying. And I couldn't think of what I wanted more at that point to comfort me. Either (or both) would do me a world of good.
Peace,
KZ
Showing posts with label wispy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wispy. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Devil In A Floral Dress
Hey kids! How's it (or they) hangin'? I hope alls well in Bloggerville Heights. Me? I'm in Satan's Anus, feeling the full wrath of workplace angst.
I was driving into work today and my cell phone rang. It was my secretary. Someone was looking for the cord that hooks the projector to the laptop. It was on my file cabinet. Easy enough to solve.
When I finally got into the office, I had literally 5 people waiting to talk to me about one issue or another. Don't fucking talk to me before my coat is off and coffee in my hand! I'm telling them to wait, hold on, I'm not ready yet. OK, let the onslaught begin.
Five people, five relatively easy answers. Go sit the fuck down!
The phone rings. And rings. And rings. Three phone calls, three questions answered.
The phone rings again. It's Wispy. I haven't have to talk to this fat bitch in a good six months. Now I'm on the phone with this land manatee, and I know it won't end well. "I need to talk you about something very important." It's never important. Not ever. "Go talk to your supervisor." "He'll just blow me off." Bitch, because it's not important!!! "Well, let me talk to him and see if it should come to my level." "Fine, I'll just go over to city hall then and talk to HR."
This is the part that makes me wish I was the director and not just deputy. I would have told that cave whore to go and tell whomever the fuck would listen to her, as long as it wasn't me. But my boss has spent his entire career here making sure shit stays "in-house", even little petty shit. So I had to respond a different way.
"OK, I have a minute right now." It was 8:40. I got in at 8:30.
So she ambles her ass past the twin obstacles of load bearing walls and donuts to make it to my office.
I was driving into work today and my cell phone rang. It was my secretary. Someone was looking for the cord that hooks the projector to the laptop. It was on my file cabinet. Easy enough to solve.
When I finally got into the office, I had literally 5 people waiting to talk to me about one issue or another. Don't fucking talk to me before my coat is off and coffee in my hand! I'm telling them to wait, hold on, I'm not ready yet. OK, let the onslaught begin.
Five people, five relatively easy answers. Go sit the fuck down!
The phone rings. And rings. And rings. Three phone calls, three questions answered.
The phone rings again. It's Wispy. I haven't have to talk to this fat bitch in a good six months. Now I'm on the phone with this land manatee, and I know it won't end well. "I need to talk you about something very important." It's never important. Not ever. "Go talk to your supervisor." "He'll just blow me off." Bitch, because it's not important!!! "Well, let me talk to him and see if it should come to my level." "Fine, I'll just go over to city hall then and talk to HR."
This is the part that makes me wish I was the director and not just deputy. I would have told that cave whore to go and tell whomever the fuck would listen to her, as long as it wasn't me. But my boss has spent his entire career here making sure shit stays "in-house", even little petty shit. So I had to respond a different way.
"OK, I have a minute right now." It was 8:40. I got in at 8:30.
So she ambles her ass past the twin obstacles of load bearing walls and donuts to make it to my office.
Artist's rendering
She starts into the diatribe about how the other managers ignore her pleas for more technical training, how she's asked for it for years and been rebuked one way or another. Then she talks about how valuable she is the the city, how she's been doing so much work above and beyond what the other "girls" do. Then Wispy begins tearing up and asking why she wasn't allowed to go to today's technical training session. It's unfair that LaVeronica gets to go, but she can't. Now I see. That African bitch gets a few hours off the phones to go learn something, I deserve AT LEAST that. I tell her "Well LaVeronica has long expressed interest in that technical training. This is the very first I've heard of you interest in any training. In fact, when I sent you to Excel training last year, you complained that I sent you to a training that you wouldn't use in your daily work. This training that LaVeronica is in would be more of the same."
She denied she said that about the Excel training and reasserted that the managers are conspiring to keep good training opportunities away from her. I told her I would see what I could do. And asked her to return to the reception desk.
There were 3 more people waiting outside in the halll to see me when she left.
Be Easy,
KZ
She starts into the diatribe about how the other managers ignore her pleas for more technical training, how she's asked for it for years and been rebuked one way or another. Then she talks about how valuable she is the the city, how she's been doing so much work above and beyond what the other "girls" do. Then Wispy begins tearing up and asking why she wasn't allowed to go to today's technical training session. It's unfair that LaVeronica gets to go, but she can't. Now I see. That African bitch gets a few hours off the phones to go learn something, I deserve AT LEAST that. I tell her "Well LaVeronica has long expressed interest in that technical training. This is the very first I've heard of you interest in any training. In fact, when I sent you to Excel training last year, you complained that I sent you to a training that you wouldn't use in your daily work. This training that LaVeronica is in would be more of the same."
She denied she said that about the Excel training and reasserted that the managers are conspiring to keep good training opportunities away from her. I told her I would see what I could do. And asked her to return to the reception desk.
There were 3 more people waiting outside in the halll to see me when she left.
Be Easy,
KZ
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