Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Other

Facebook is the font of non-stop hilarity. I really am addicted, even though I can't really be MYSELF on it. Too many rubbernecking assed Satan's Anusians tracking my movement. As much as I neglect it, I love the blog for all the reasons I hate Facebook: a certain level of anonymity and an opportunity for unbridled misanthropy. Ready? Here goes....

Muthafuckers I hated in high school are my "friends" now. Man, fuck 'em, fuck 'em all. 20 years of bad choices has manifested itself in their mugs. People who I'd actually look forward to finding after all these years, I can't find. The ones I have are the same misspelling, quasi-literate, all caps typing ape-people I remember.

Hey, Loudy! I remember you! You got caught sucking 2 football players' dicks in the boys' locker room after football practice. Didn't think I'd remember that, hunh? If unattractive, loud, hyper-religious, and fashion challenged were signs of positive karma, you'd be a $500 million winning Powerball ticket. I'm unfriending your ass tonight.

People from college aren't much better, but they are better. This one lame ass dude, who's incidentally quite successful now, married this beauty queen from college. They have 3 kids together, 2 girls and a boy. It's really unfortunate that those girls are the spitting image of his ugly ass and not his pretty wife, but I can't hold him accountable for that. Hell, that shit might happen to me! I actually like the guy quite a bit. But his status updates are always inevitably about how live he is. Not how happy he is, or how much he loves his family, but how he's the shit and we should all bow down. Good luck with that, Fido. Your ass is hist.

I'm not saying this shit to kiss up, but I appreciate the bloggers on FB more than anything. Maybe it's because I kinda "know" y'all in the here and now. I hate reminiscing and remembrances and shit. With most of my FB friends, that's all I got.

Be Good,


Miz JJ said...

I consider deleting my facebook account every other day. I love this post though. You should write that on their pages before unfriending them. That would be boss.

1969 said...

I agree. Even though I don't know the bloggers...they all know more about me because they read my craziness.

Some of my old friends have no clue. LOL. You can be your old evil self with us Zeddie, we still love ya.

Loudy was out there huh?

Knockout Zed said...

I have the same dilemna, like fuck it I might as well go. And I still got a shitload of people who live and work with me that friended me early on that I don't feel comfortable with in "my space", so to speak.

I'd just leave in silence. No speeches, just gone.

Loudy was doing her thang. Two at a time. And now, she's FB's foremost preacher woman.

poetrystruth said...

My inlaws are on facebook, there's nothing fun really going on with my account.

I deny "friends" all the time. I'm just not that into keeping in contact with folks I ain't even like in H.S.

I feel ya.

Knockout Zed said...

If my inlaws, hell, even my parents, were on FB, they'd be directed to my "public" account. The one most of my co-workers get linked to. One account for my people, another for THOSE people.


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

My mother is on facebook. she has started family fueds, i've been deleted by an uncle who is now not speaking to me as he was once my favorite, and witnessed my cousins fight with my uncle on his facebook page, while unbeknownst to them, my uncles page is run by his assistant.

i'm on twitter.

I don't even feel comfortable putting my profile picture with the me sticking the bird...cuz I don't wanna hear any slack from my mother.

I'm on twitter.

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Thanks for requesting me on FB. I must admit when I saw your pictures are suited and booted I thought to myself, "If they only knew...LOL!"

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

I meant to say, all suited and booted.

sj-the-infamous said...

I am over here all in your blog because I am looking for your seminal post on Niggas being more mad about being called an "African", than they are being called Nigga. Dude! So tonight I had a brief run in with a no-driving African....literally, and as I was fussing at him your blog post came to mind because I caught myself and didn't call him a no-driving "nigga", no I called him a no-driving african, because he really was african, but then I started laughing cuz it was all so dumb and I'd really had maybe 2 too many mojitos and 1 to many french martinis and maybe I'm the no-driving african after all, eh?

And then I read THIS post and it's so timely because I was gonna post what I just typed above on your FB wall, but then I thought, shit Africans that are your friends or my friends may get offended and who needs all that, so like you....I retreat to the blog to

I'm blitzed and out. Peace my african.

Blackprophet said...

You have hit on the reason it is called Facebook and not Friendbook.