So, I'm moving right? Second weekend in a row. First my stuff from Satan's Anus, then her stuff from the D. This weekend was the stuff from the D. All's well. Our team, after initially flaking out, comes together and the move is swift. Even though we lost the keys for about 40 minutes in the D, the move was still a rousing success. Now to get the stuff from point A to point B. I got the personnel and I got the will. No biggie, right?
Remember having sex as a virgin? When I tried to get this truck through that hole, it got stuck. The only road to get in and out of the village was clogged by the town's new black guy and his fucking moving truck. For an hour and a half.
The pint sized cop came up to me and said "I guess that was a dumb mistake, hunh?" "Excuse me?" "I guess that was a dumb mistake, hunh?" I turned my back to him, because saying "Fuck you Fidget!" would be impolitic. I guess it would be a dumb mistake if a) The height of the truck was written somewhere, anywhere in or on the truck so I could make a comparison, or b) I'd gotten stuck last week when I drove through this same fucking tunnel in a gotdamn moving truck!
So after paying the tow truck driver to wench me out, and getting the citation from the Fidget (fucking midget) for "ignoring a traffic control device", and filling up the gotdamn gigantic gas tank with diesel and the cost of renting the fucking truck, it would have been cheaper to hire movers and have me and TAD sipping Pina Coladas in our new digs waiting for our furniture to come.
I was a gotdamn newsstory, a one day oddity in the village. And a story to tell my kids.
Peace,
KZ
The pint sized cop came up to me and said "I guess that was a dumb mistake, hunh?" "Excuse me?" "I guess that was a dumb mistake, hunh?" I turned my back to him, because saying "Fuck you Fidget!" would be impolitic. I guess it would be a dumb mistake if a) The height of the truck was written somewhere, anywhere in or on the truck so I could make a comparison, or b) I'd gotten stuck last week when I drove through this same fucking tunnel in a gotdamn moving truck!
So after paying the tow truck driver to wench me out, and getting the citation from the Fidget (fucking midget) for "ignoring a traffic control device", and filling up the gotdamn gigantic gas tank with diesel and the cost of renting the fucking truck, it would have been cheaper to hire movers and have me and TAD sipping Pina Coladas in our new digs waiting for our furniture to come.
I was a gotdamn newsstory, a one day oddity in the village. And a story to tell my kids.
Peace,
KZ
5 comments:
There's and old joke about a truck driver getting stuck like you did. As the joke goes, the cop walks up and says, "So your stuck huh?" And the Driver looks at him and says, "No you simple Mother Fucker, I'm delivering a bridge."
This doesn't move me. You did nothing wrong. Nothing really happened. Fuck that ticket (well, you might have to pay it forward). This was some normal shit. Be easy Bruh. Should be worth it in a quick minute or two.
Congratulations on your move... yeah wouldve been helpful if the truck listed the height! ((shaking head))
My sister got the job in Ann Arbor, so she will be moving out there by the end of the year. Hopefully you and the Missus can stop by and visit the 'chuch' one Sunday.
Good luck, glad you two are together now.
So sorry that you became the "NEWS" on your first weekend.
But so glad that you and the Mrs. are cohabitating.
And just as a point in your favor. That height restriction is probably wrong anyway. Highway Depts are constantly resurfacing and making the roadway higher, and forgetting to repost! HMPH
i the movies don't the usually flatten the tires?
i totally would have been there to help you guys if i wasn't up to my eyeballs in alligators and work and lived on YOUR side of the mississippi however you have reminded me of a very important lesson which is that movers are professional for a reason.
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