Village Idiot

So, I'm moving right? Second weekend in a row. First my stuff from Satan's Anus, then her stuff from the D. This weekend was the stuff from the D. All's well. Our team, after initially flaking out, comes together and the move is swift. Even though we lost the keys for about 40 minutes in the D, the move was still a rousing success. Now to get the stuff from point A to point B. I got the personnel and I got the will. No biggie, right?

Remember having sex as a virgin?

When I tried to get this truck through that hole, it got stuck. The only road to get in and out of the village was clogged by the town's new black guy and his fucking moving truck. For an hour and a half.

The pint sized cop came up to me and said "I guess that was a dumb mistake, hunh?" "Excuse me?" "I guess that was a dumb mistake, hunh?" I turned my back to him, because saying "Fuck you Fidget!" would be impolitic. I guess it would be a dumb mistake if a) The height of the truck was written somewhere, anywhere in or on the truck so I could make a comparison, or b) I'd gotten stuck last week when I drove through this same fucking tunnel in a gotdamn moving truck!

So after paying the tow truck driver to wench me out, and getting the citation from the Fidget (fucking midget) for "ignoring a traffic control device", and filling up the gotdamn gigantic gas tank with diesel and the cost of renting the fucking truck, it would have been cheaper to hire movers and have me and TAD sipping Pina Coladas in our new digs waiting for our furniture to come.

I was a gotdamn newsstory, a one day oddity in the village. And a story to tell my kids.

Peace,
KZ

Chaos Reigns

What up Africans? I'm finally doing it, I'm moving to a "central" location between Satan's Anus and The D so I can live with my wife. For those of y'all that didn't know, moving sucks dick, and not in that pleasant way that I enjoy so very much.

I just got back from Puerto Rico, and for the record, the chicks are overrated (they try TOO hard), the food is underrated, and you can make a killing if you open a store that solely sells stacked heels. Incidentally, that portion of Africanness that inhabits the Puerto Rican genetic makeup seems to rule as far as timeliness and general attitude. Also, for the first time in my life, I got sunburned, so that's something. Anyway, we went for our first anniversary. It was a good trip to take and a precursor to the bigger trips we're planning, like to the Mediterranean, which I just realized as I wrote it, looks like it means "Middle Ground", which is where she and I are moving to in Michigan.

This post came full circle. Imagine that.

Peace,
KZ

Quite Frankly...

I'm on some "Fuck the Clintons" shit. Fuck 'em both. Fuck 'em often. Right in the asshole. They let me go from completely neutral (All politicians are scum. Yes, even your boy.) to a rage-a-holic every time of think of this bullshit they keep trying to pull. I'm done with every dub running for any office on any level. It reminds of of that skit from Ice Cube's CD ("Here's what they think of you...")

Ay, is it wrong to go through a woman's hamper, steal her underwear and sniff them while masterbating even after you've given her an engagement ring? It's just a hypothetical question.

I'm in the midst of packing my shit. I've been on a month to month basis for about 6 months now, waiting to muthafucking GO as soon as I find another gig. So my apartment complex decided to extort me. I either sign a lease or my month to month rent gets raised by $140. If I sign a lease and have to leave before it's over, I owe THE REMAINDER OF THE LEASE. These bastards are crazy. So, I'm fucking packing. I'm literally moving across the street. In the middle of winter.

That's all,
KZ

What Kind of Fuc.kery Is This?

...to quote Amy Winehouse.

I have a living room full of shoes and no place to put 'em. I'm on this sneaker kick that's on it's way to being a full fledged addiction. I think I might be shopping to mask a deep seeded anxiety about getting no love from all these cities and counties I've applied to. So I get online and buy.

I just got these in the mail yesterday.

Goodness gracious I love these shoes.

I gotta stop. I ain't got no loot. I'm considering moving to a smaller apartment. I've been thinking about it for awhile, but I figured why do it if I'm moving out of the city anyway. My apartment (townhouse) is 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths. I think I can make due in a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath place. It would save me $200 bucks a month in rent. That's loot I can use to fill up my new living room with kicks.

Anyway, the gig's the gig. Life is life. It is what it is. My staff sucks. My boss sucks. My neighbors suck. My mood sucks. But I still got my shoes.

Be Easy,
KZ