Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Pasta Is Tasty

Whatever happened to the MC?/Times done changed for the MC/Every woman and man wanna MC/You know what? MCin' ain't for you. -De La Soul, SupaEmcees

I'm here to talk about random shit. Because I can. Because it's my blog and I'm bored. Because it won't stop snowing. Because I'm about to turn 37. Because Christmas is coming. Because the dude from Worth & Worth (hatshop.com) is not returning my calls. Because that city in Maryland is gonna make me interview in the middle of holiday season. Because every store I go to, people are trying to sell me shit they think I should have, instead of selling me the shit I'm looking for. Because I need a drink and some pussy.

What a slangy language we got goin' on here. If I tell you it's 2 o'clock, you never think about it, but that shit is slang. What I'm telling you is it's two of the clock or it's two according to the clock. We say 2 o'clock like it's proper English and shit. What's up with that? (Cliff Claven reference) Same thing with the word "panties". Panties is slang for little pants. The proper term? Underwear or underpants. The word panties is soft and gay. Thong panties excepted.

My staff is great. Couldn't be better. Thanks for asking.

Tomorrow I have to present the city budget to a bunch of citizen volunteers who feign oversight and vigilance over our finances. They don't understand 1/4 of the shit they see, so it's my job to give them a financial primer on how municipal budgets work. The problem? I don't know shit about finance. That's not my area, at all! How did I get finagled into doing this? It's STATE LAW that the person in my position, A NON FINANCIAL POSITION, present this budget. State law is an ass.

I'm still waiting for Flat Randy, N.A.

Fucking snow.

I'm Out,
KZ

17 comments:

proacTiff said...

I felt like a fly trapped inside o' random mind. That city in Maryland. If shit pans out, I'm good for a shipment o' crabcakes.

Always the thong...th'...thong, thong, thong.

Blah Blah Blah said...

...wouldn't you like to go where everybody kows your naaaaaammme...

Instead of just..."that big ol' African". The Anus sucks.

By the way, whatever happened with the cleaners letter? Did you send it?

I use to feel so dirty when I said or heard "pussy"...but now...
pussypussypussypussy...
just makes me feel like fucking.

I think my neighbor upstairs can see me through the hole in my ceiling. Thanks to my super.

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Okay. two things.

Since women wear panties, shouldn't they be soft and gay(non masculine)?

And is that pussy and a drink a combo deal or are they separate concepts jammed into the same sentence?

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Since this is my first time here, I read your profile. You must be a Detroiter. I mean where else is Satan's Anus located?

Comin' where i'm from bruh...

Knockout Zed said...

@Pro
Always the thong.

@BBB


@TheSecond
Calling panties "gay" was my feeble attempt at humor. Of course they're not gay!!!

I really need either pussy or a drink. Both would be great, but I'll take what I can get easier...which is the drink. LOL

I am indeed from Detroit, born and raised, but I don't like there now. I'm in Satan's Anus, 2 hours away on the West side of the state.

KZ

Nexgrl said...

Can you get a summary from the Finance Department?

Knockout Zed said...

@Nexgrl
Oh, I got summaries. They want the MEAT. The summaries just piss this group off.

I got people from finance coming "for support", but I have to present this complex shit.

KZ

Anonymous said...

i'm waiting for my damn email reply!

1969 said...

Maryland huh? I used to live there...for about five years. Holla if you need some advice.

ChezNiki said...

That snow hit here on Sunday/Monday overnight. I swear these Boston MFers drive WORSE when there is precipitation! We didnt get enough for a fire sale on my baby blankets come May, but it was our first snow, so folk were hyped.

...you gave a random post. So I gave a random comment/ reply
((shrugging shoulders))

Holly said...

Panties is cringy. Underpants forever.

http://actuallyhome.blogspot.com

aquababie said...

you need some pussy holding a drink for you!

and put me down for an order of crabcakes too :)

Miz JJ said...

You're getting FR next? Very interesting.

Knockout Zed said...

@BBB
Pussy is not dirty. And if hearing it makes you horny, you can't live within 100 yards of me.

KZ

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i prefer the spanish version of Chones myself!

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Oh okay. You are right. That is Satan's Anus. Could be worse though. You could be in Brighton or Howell. Truly the crack of Satan's Ass!

Mr.Slish said...

WHO SAID PUSSY WAS DIRTY????