Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Things To Know

Off topic: When will muthafuckas stop shoving unsheathed fat cock up in those fertile Spears girls? Gotdamn! I guess that advanced screening of "Juno" probably won't be so funny now.

Anyway, I'm here to talk about lessons, learned and forgotten. This post is for my friends, the Africans who still wanna keep playing this game, which has diminishing returns once you pass 31.
  • The factor is 3/2. When a woman under thirty tells you how many dudes she's fucked, multiply that shit by 3/2. That's the real number. For women over thirty, the factor is 5/3.
  • How ever many dudes a chick is involved with at the time you meet her, she is fucking one additional guy. He "doesn't count". They're not serious and they get together from time to time. If she claims not seeing anyone, she's fucking one dude undercover.
  • Women are groupies by nature, not nurture. Dick riding is part and parcel of who they are. Look at the difference between strip clubs for men and for women. That tells the whole story. They go to malls and scream during a book signing by Tyson Beckford. They faint when they see Idris Elba at the club. If you don't recognize that these men are to be lionized for their good looks, you are a hater. Don't try to change it, it's hopeless. Hater!
  • No, the talking won't stop. It won't slow down, nor will the topics change.
  • In no way is actual affection to be substituted for expensive gifts. What are you, a fucking hippie?
  • That raw assed sexuality that reeled you in? Prepare to see that shit only on the most special of occasions. You better start celebrating all those "bank holidays" and shit.
  • Regular bedclothes ain't lingerie, pal.
  • That girlish giggle will one day soon be reserved for getting out of tickets and getting free drinks at the bar. You won't hear it unless you overhear it.
You enjoy the rest of your life, ok?

Be Easy,
KZ

8 comments:

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

what woman in her right mind would ever discuss the number of partners she's had and who in the hell would ask that question?

Knockout Zed said...

@AJ
You'd be surprised. I'd never ask the fucking question, but they VOLUNTEER the information, like fewer partners will make them look chaste and good to me. Newsflash: I like women who like to fuck!!! Low numbers don't impress me, and lying to me insults my intelligence.

KZ

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Due to the ratio of 15 guys for 1 girl, in the Corps, straight out of bootcamp, in my younger days.... I do not feel the need to share that information. I will say this...

I was lil' ho back then. CTHU

Blah Blah Blah said...

I have actually forgotten how many men I have slept with... not because of so many...but because half them muthafuckas aren't that memorable...ha! But generally I agree with AJ.

Umm, I got new shit to say dammit!

BZ said...

I'm with A.J. and Blah. If you ask the question, you ain't grown enough for the answer. And I have no time for you.

I am no saint, nor do I claim to be. But, I have no kids or STDs. And that's all you really need to know. LOL

Knockout Zed said...

@YTHTBM
I don't believe in "hoes" and "sluts", just "friends" and "acquaintances". LOL

@BBB
Didn't you write that before?

@BZ
I'm really like why ask? I don't know what that information is good for. I've been asked and I've been told. I don't really wanna tell, and I don't wanna hear what the chick has to say. It don't matter. Can you fuck? That's the question.

KZ

ChezNiki said...

You can take the gurls out the trailer park but you cant take the wide load out of the gurl...

Forget about number of lovers! Nowadays, you have to ask dudes how many children/ babymothers they have! For a guy its just an ego thing. But for a woman, its a lifetime of deep discount dates while the DOR takes 25% of each dudes paycheck.

Have a gurl scheming...

"Pizza and a DVD again! D*mn! Shoulda told him about those three men I f*cked at the job!"

aquababie said...

this is why sometimes my bf gets annoyed with me. i don't talk about my "getting it on" before him because simply it's my business before i got with you. you really don't need to know cuz frankly some feeling will get hurt. as long as you don't have "the package" or some secret baby mama & kids, we're cool.