Tuesday, June 03, 2008

My Negro Problem

I've basically been dealing with an increased case of snobbishness for the past few months. I don't know where it's come from, but I'm dealing with Uppity African syndrome and I don't know how to shake it.

I'm no elitist. I come from a blue collar background, with only me and one of my sisters as college grads. My high school was consistently rated last in academic achievement behind the 27 other schools. I'm from the east side of Detroit and went to the "other school" in the state of Michigan. I'm a slob and a ignoramus, but that doesn't stop me from looking down my nose at some other people.

I know this chick that's out of work and she was asking me if I knew of any jobs available. She's looking for some sort of management position. I was instantly offended. What the fuck kind of circle do I run in that I can get a job for a chick that's 10 credits short of a general business degree from The University of Phoenix? I really have no right to try to bag on anybody's self improvement, and virtual campuses are an innovative concept, but fuck that, really. Ain't nobody lettin' you manage shit but a Chicken Shack if that's your primary degree. And that shit hasn't even been obtained yet.

Another person asked me about getting a relative of theirs involved in the work I do. I asked what their major was and got the response that they only had a high school diploma. Muthafucka, that African can clean up the office after the professionals leave.

My problem is inherently a negro problem. We still don't know how the game is played. Certain credentials are "needed" for certain work. I'm not saying that my job can't be done by a grade schooler, but the fact is no one will hire one to do the work.

There are a ton of jobs that take shit like hard work, talent, family connections, etc. to get to a position of power. Those jobs are usually in the entertainment and athletic arenas. All the gigs I know about throw around bullshit about "schooling" and "certification" and "competency". Assholes!

I just wish Africans would stop thinking that a good word from Big Zed is gonna make "the man" forget that credential barrier that he put up to keep us out in the first place. That's all I'm sayin'.

Peace,
KZ

14 comments:

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

Here here that was some good shit right there! Its somewhat true about entertainment but not totally I mean its the one place you can work your way up to the top but can't buy your way into.

Meanwhile I am plagued with my mothers friends trying to get their depressed under achieving kids jobs when the kids are grown folk who don't really want to work!

Nexgrl said...

My take on the questioning is that they assume that you are just like them (under educated,) and just worked your way to the top. I get asked all of the time, "How can I get a job like yours?" When I explain the educational requirements that are mandatory, I get blank stares.

Knockout Zed said...

@AJ
Actually I forgot to make a blanket mention of all creative fields as a place where the bullshittery of college ain't necessary.

Speaking of hookups, Young Hollywood, can I get a job? You're living that life!

@Nexy
This dude, perpetually jobless brother of a friend, asked me how I got my job. I told him I had a degree in it and I've been in the field for 14 years. He was "Yeah, yeah, that's hot" and walked away. Idiot.

KZ

sj-the-infamous said...

Spoken like a true EBP....

Knockout Zed said...

@SJ
Dang! I'm all typical and ish.

KZ

La Diva Latina said...

Those mail order degrees are a trip!! I know this dude got a Masters..in Business..he's working at rent-a-car. at the counter.
(He be master-of-his-bation, that's all..with that 'degree')

Yeah, folks just be thinking you got CLOUT!...you must give off that impressive air...*you know you important and shyt Zed*

Knockout Zed said...

@Curvy
I don't know. His dick might not even let him touch it with that janky degree.

I remember when Shaq got an MBA from Univ. of Phoenix, he was talking about how he's a learned scholar and shit now. African, you just block that shot, ok?

They see a cheesy suit and a office and they think I got something going on. It's a freakin' illusion.

KZ

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

My favorite is when some pissant kid who just got a liberal arts degree from and unknown school in Podunk asks me how can they get MY job.

I tell them by doing THEIR job very well!


We used to have repeat this daily while working on American Idol.

aquababie said...

i have folk who do what i do uneducated...they're called meth addicts. those jokers always blowing up shit!

folk truly don't appreciate the hard work that others put into their jobs.

Bananas said...

Well, up in the "White World" things must be different. I remember back a few years ago I entertained the idea of changing day jobs. Went up against a Cat that had an MBA from University of Phoenix and no history of employment in the arena he was entering.

I managed to bang out an MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management in the land sand and surf, Pepperdine. AND...I had ten billion years of experience and a track record that didn't suck.

Home Boy got the job. He knew somebody who knew somebody.

Ain't what ya know, it's what they think you know.
Ain't who ya know, it's who knows you.

Knockout Zed said...

@AJ
First off, fuck a liberal arts degree. Sorry, but I can read a lot and spout off about dumb shit all day. They call it a blog.

Second, why does everybody see what you do and think they can jump right in and do it? It's because you make it look so easy. Stop being so good!

@Aqua
Trailer park scientists. I love 'em. They're the reason they lock up cold medicine in this part of the state. I love Breaking Bad, but a meth addict is the worst muthafucka on Earth.

@Terry
You went to Pepperdine? That had to be beautiful!

It's always who you know, with at least a cursory nod to "credentials". They didn't even care that his shit was "3 dollar bill-ish", they could just say "Well he has the qualifications we were looking for. Welcome aboard, Boss's son!"

KZ

Bananas said...

Zed - I only went to The "P" for grad school. Got my undergrad in Behavioral Science from "an unknown school in Podunk".

And yes, it was pretty cool at The "P". Malibu looks good even from a classroom window. Providing its not on fire of course.

proacTiff said...

"There are a ton of jobs that take shit like hard work, talent, family connections, etc. to get to a position of power. Those jobs are usually in the entertainment and athletic arenas."

That list nowadays keeps on growing. You can't even get a job on a pile of red clay, on a construction site without knowing the owner of the company. It's fucking unreal this market.

Speaking of markets. Mr. Pro told me this morning the news reported that home builder's are so desperate that they have resorted to offering BOGOF. If you build/buy a home you can get one of equal or lesser value FREE.

That's some shit right there, however, Ion believe the hype. I'll take a free job instead.

Anonymous said...

Zed,

I too have been experiencing the "can you help me get a job" from folks that truly don't WANT to work. Looking for a job is a fulltime job and if you don't roll out of bed until noon...youu have just pissed away four hours of work so what makes you think I am gonna muddy my name being linked ot yours...yeah...good one Zed.

MzNewy