My ego is pretty big. Most of the time, I try to be self-deprecating just so I'll come off as less of an asshole, but really I think pretty highly of myself. Sometimes it's hard to come to grips with the reality that maybe, just maybe, you're not all that you think you are to all people.
Case in point, we're in the middle of planning this wedding. I'm not so much into the wedding thing, but I'm in the "go along to get along" phase. Whatever'll make this thing go, I'm with it. Everybody in the world knows that a woman's wedding is something she's thought about and pictured for many, many years. She has a vision and she'll try to match that vision the best way she can. Everybody in and around the wedding have been selected for years in advance. Everybody except the groom, that is. That's the interchangeable piece. The groom is just whatever African happened to pop the question. The wedding doesn't change one iota to fit a groom's personality or ideals. Most dudes laugh that shit off. I did as well. It got less funny the more I thought about it though, a lot less funny. That's ego.
This could very well be Joe, Jake, or Johnny's wedding. One monkey don't stop no show. Who gives a fuck who the groom is?
In the meantime I gotta get pep talks from my biggest fans (my mother and Three) just to keep my ego fed. That's kinda fucked up, but it's true.
This wedding thing is like a force of nature. I'mma go find some shelter.
Peace,
KZ
15 comments:
I agree Zed. The groom is definitely the variable. Everything else is a constant.
Just let her have her moment. A happy bride makes for a happy groom. This will be the first of MANY compromises to come.
KZ,
Head held high, bruh. Head held high. We, as women, don't mean to crush male ego, it just appears that way. :)
I'm curious. If given the chance to add your own unique element to the ceremony or reception, what would that be?
You will get a groom's cake. I have no idea whether or not you will get a choice in the flavor or color, but it will be something that was chosen with you in mind.
I have a friend with a huge ego who was in your very shoes about 19 years ago. However, his ego would not allow the wedding to be HER day. It was THEIR day. He insisted that his best friend, namely ME be a bridesmaid and he insisted that his guys would not just stand at the front of the church while the ladies strutted down the isle. The guys walked as well.
I agree with Michele...Add some of your flavor into the mix...Might make you feel a little better...
I know when I get married I'll probably be a groomzilla...lol
@69
I'm done with compromises. Everytime she asks me for something, Imma pull out the fucking wedding album.
@Maven
It would be when I charge down the aisle riding a black horse with "Return of The Mack" playing on loudspeakers.
@Nex
Maaaaan, fuck that cake. I could stay at home and eat cake.
@Chele
Maybe I can pull some ish like that off!
@Slish
Immma replace all my groomsmen with strippers.
Take over your shit when it's your turn. I can't wait.
KZ
A wedding is usually the one the brides mother never got to have, so if you have an issue with the planning, you probably have to take that up with Mama TAD. Dont worry, in about twenty-five years, you get to pay for, and watch TAD plan, your daughter's wedding.
:-p
You are not interchangeable. You have to understand, women are trained to plan our weddings from Barbie age. Ken dolls dont even have p*nises, but we have it all figured out by age twelve! LOL! You are the real, grown up, non-fantasy, part of the marriage. Hold on Brother, only a few months left to go!
I'm jealous I wish I had a wedding vision of sorts. The last time I planned a wedding in my head it consisted of me wearing a Stevie Nicks style cape, at midnight in Vegas at the Elvis Chapel but I can't think of one African that would go along with that shit.
I guess that's why I am single!
you're right on with it. funny though, even though he interchangable, the bride still expects him to be excited. i know i did, even though he didn't have much say.
next time i'm just doing the damn thing on the beach with a rev, a groom, and a sunset. fuck the rest of the nonsense.
All I can tell you is to keep ya head down, show up on time, say the right things when the preacher asks, smile like those will be the last pictures you will EVER take, enjoy your honeymoon. Cause after that you are RESPONSIBLE!!!
Hell it is so bad that I didn't even have input on what I wore that day! So tell your ego to STFU, sit down and don't come out until after the honeymoon trip is over.
The first time I got married was at the JOP, because his sisters and my mother tried to take over. Not on my watch, bytches.
The second time was a "By the way, we're getting married in Myrtle Beach. Wanna come with?", and that was it. Who ever could make it, did. We both wore linen, along with our best man and matron of honor.
It rained hard, so we had to do it indoors, overlooking the beach. Since we had to bring it inside, someone got the idea to just get oodles of candles. So it had a romantic appeal and smelled real good.
I'm easy, no frills, even. Hell, he was the one that thought I wanted a fleet of Bridesmaid. Shoot, that's how you lose friends.
We're still married, still like each other, sex is bangin' like a mutha,
stay out of it all (yes run for cover) and if you are forced into making a decision or picking out icing just smile, nod, say you love everything and get it over as quickly as possible...with one wedding under my belt..I'm done...my next one..if there is a next one will be on some beach with just the two of us...no decisions to make except what flight are we taking..he can show up in whatever he likes! it just won't be as serious as the first one.
One word for you.....VEGAS. LOL We even thought about having a reception for the families and as soon as my mama started talking about ordering the meatballs that SHE likes......screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.
Good luck man. I've seen grooms who literally just showed up and I've seen em pick out bridesmaids gowns. LOL
Maybe you can plan your third wedding.
LOL- this is funny because we just went through it. On behalf of the better half I apologize!LOL
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