Thursday, July 31, 2008

When Has It Ever Worked?

"Hey baby, why you lookin' so mean?"

Muthafuckas make me laugh. Game is a lost art. I used to have it. I haven't had it in a minute or two. I don't need it now, but damn, it would be nice to have.

"You lookin' good girl!"

I'll bet she is, fella. I'll bet she is. But is yelling that as she strides purposefully with her 5 friends to get in line for this party gonna get her to stop? Nope. Next time try laying a 10 dollar bill in the street and saying "Miss, you dropped this!"

My boy Three told me something a long time ago that makes all the sense in the world. I don't know if it really works, because I'd only tried it with female friends and not "prospects". He said "Compliment a woman the way another woman would and she'll be more responsive." He didn't say it quite like that, because Three is kinda illiterate, but you get the idea. "I like your shoes." "I like that color on you." Instead of "DAMN, you got a big ole ass!", which was my preferred expression. I really gotta ask Three if his bullshit method ever worked.

"Ay, sweetheart, lemme holla at you a minute."

Probably the most subtle shit I've heard today. It's not overly aggressive but it's still pretty ignorant. If she stops, you got an even shot. If not? Sucks to be you. I say work on your shit a little more and come back a little harder than that.

My shit was always situational. I had these scenarios worked out for all these different situations. If she's standing here, then I'll comment on that. If she's doing that, I'll do this and then we'll cross paths. It's laughable that shit that worked well.

To the cats that still think this shit is fun, I salute you. But you gotta fuckin' do better than this!



Monie said...

Agreed! Damn!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

My personal favorite is a guy that told me that I looked gooder than two ham sammiches...and to a non pork eating girl who was raised Muslim that is really something.

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Yeah. Game done took a vacation.

What happened to the good old days when you would stand under the Mobil sign and ask a pretty lady who was passing by for directions to the nearest gas station?
Corny? Yeah. But it stuns them enough to stop the walking. Then gives them a laugh and allows you to come up with a good comment since you broke the ice...
I think dad said it worked once or twice.

So Aunt Jackie, I guess you pretty much felt like crap after that.

Well you look better than two Dagwood sammiches! And a bit like Pam Grier...

Blah Blah Blah said...

I always respond to "you lookin' good girl"...but I am easy like that.

1969 said...

And there's the classic "Psssssst. Shawty come here lemme holla at you for a minute."

Hold up. Your lazy azz is gonna need me to walk over to you so you can attempt to kick it to me?

Yeah....I'll pass.

Oh and one time an old man on my elevator at work said "Hi Redbone".


nikki said...


tell it again! i don't even respond if i hear the ignance. on the flip side, a guy is definitely rewarded if he steps to me with confidence and like he got some damn sense. he don't even have to be all that good looking, but if he steps correct, he'll get the convo and maybe even the digits.

a guy does get points for originality. lines that i've heard before get the "negro please" look.

Anonymous said...

At what age do guys stop "spitting game" and come real?!?!?!?

Great post Zed

Little Brown Girl said...

WOW...I feel like I've been gone forever! Well uhhh I guess in many ways I have LOL!! But its good to come back to whats familar and see not much has changed. Well some has changed (I see you are a bit more uhhhhh errruhhhh in touch with your "softer" side LOL)...they say love does that shyt to a cat! Anyway, I had an hour to kill and decided to run by and let me a few of my favorite people know that they are still close to my heart even if my keystrokes dont readily show it.

BTW...we women got lines too!! I preferred "Hey, why didnt you call me?" to which he has always replied "Dayum, cause I lost your number" to which I proceed to distribute them digits while placing a check in the appropriate box "GOT'EM" LOL!! But of course that was back in the days...Love has made me softer too you see!!!

Miss you man...

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

...and no one speaks fluent Temptationese anymore? Oh well. A man giving a woman a Sister Girl compliment does seem to work. Hubby told me once that my pumps complimented the hell out of my legs ... I was smittened from that point. Didn't know it was a damn line tho.

proacTiff said...

the older i get it seems to work better coming from the kind of voice that hasn't changed yet (read: young buck). lmao seriously though, i would take any monkee droppin's (lines) that don't have a certain bill-payment-what's-for-dinner-how-much-that-cost ring to it. aside from snoring, farting, flushing and change jingling i rarely hear lines that make me weak in the knees or need to change my panties.

i'm pissed now.

ChezNiki said...

Hi. My name is real first name pause real last name is what I like to hear these days. But for some reason, this it extemely hard to come by ?!?!

Where are you? I came over here to read about Brother Kwame! Also, I signed your Knot Page, so yall go read it when you get a chance.