Monday, October 05, 2009

The American Rodeo

You know there are people out there who are getting rich off of nostalgia and societal vanity? Do you know that if you used to be something or someone, or if you have the good fortune of having won the genetic aesthetic lottery, you could be rich beyond your wildest dreams? Well it's true! Welcome to the American Rodeo, where dick-riding is a sport!

You remember that last Morris Chestnut movie you went to? It wasn't very good was it? Why did you go? Do you remember? Was it because Morris is the next James Earl Jones, with a smooth speaking voice and the ability to manufacture pathos with his line readings? Or did he keep his shirt off for most of the movie? Congratulations, you just put money in an African's pocket for nothing.

Hey, remember that strip club you went to last night? Yeah, that broad had a beautiful ass. You musta blew a couple hun on that chick. Went home with a hard dick, didn't you? You know what she went home with? A couple hundred of your dollars and another African. Congratulations, you coulda got a bullshit dance like that at home for free.

I'm at my wits end. Everybody thinks it's OK in 2009 to dick ride. That shit was verboten where I'm from, when I came up. Now, we do it en masse, every chance we get. I've been called a hater for calling it out, apparently I'm jealous because I'm not getting money or I'm not fine enough to get my dick ridden. OK, if that shit makes you feel comfortable, go with it. But I'm telling you I'm not for giving unearned kudos to anybody. Fuck 'em and fuck you too, groupie.



The Brown Blogger said...

It's apparent that this phenomena is status quo for our lazy-ass generation who like you and I, were taught better.

Sheletha said...

Call me vintage but I like the old school dick ridin'

Knockout Zed said...

It's a man thing I think first and foremost, then it's a cultural thing.

@She She


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i for one ain't ridding no dick
or figuratively

although i am kinda smitten on that amber rose's body....Judge me!

Knockout Zed said...

Amber Rose has a fat ass, but I wouldn't pay to see her do shit. I'm talking about paying for worthless shit, not admiring people. Your admiration is valid.


Blah Blah Blah said...

"I'm talking about paying for worthless shit"
I ain't payin' for worthless shit eiter!

I'm with Sheletha...ridin' dick is whats up...just wish I had some rhythm...I be skippin on the down stroke.
And like AJ...I ain't ridin' shit at the moment. Damn.

Sheletha said...

Rhythm....yeah my thoughts go to that one moment in that terrible movie by John Singleton "baby boy"

KZ...why do you insist on calling me a name that I don't like? it because I blasted ole girl and because you are tall you won't get the same treatment?

Put me down for being the third jockey with no horse. sigh.