Mr. Softie-Pants

So I got back from lunch, ready to get down to the nitty gritty of my daily grind (i.e. surf the web), when I noticed I had a voicemail message.

When I played it, it was from one of those know-it-all community group leaders. This bitch ass bastard called me to ask about something going on in his neighborhood. I know to some of these muthafucka, I'm like a catch-all, but this is specifically a stormwater issue and I don't deal in them. He also piggybacked another question about a development several miles from his neighborhood and wondered how it would affect them. It won't affect them at all, but he's a nosy little bitch, so I gotta update him on that shit.

Why do I despise this cat so much? It seems like he might have some good questions and they might be misdirected. I hate him because he is officially the worst kind of man to me. This cat has a hyphenated last name. He took his wife's last name and he's hyphenated. They both are.

He gets less, just a little less, ire than the other cat I met with last year. He had a last name that opens doors in this community, so people were anxious when he came to meet with me last year. They talked about how well regarded his father was and all this other shit I didn't care about. So when we started talking, I mentioned that I was told his father was a pillar of the community. He went on to tell me that the dude wasn't his father, but his father-in-law. He took his wife's (long assed unpronounceable German) last name so that he could immerse himself in her culture. Just like that the meeting was over. At least in my head it was. Anything he said no longer counted.

Seriously, fuck these dudes.

KZ