Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Mr. Softie-Pants

So I got back from lunch, ready to get down to the nitty gritty of my daily grind (i.e. surf the web), when I noticed I had a voicemail message.

When I played it, it was from one of those know-it-all community group leaders. This bitch ass bastard called me to ask about something going on in his neighborhood. I know to some of these muthafucka, I'm like a catch-all, but this is specifically a stormwater issue and I don't deal in them. He also piggybacked another question about a development several miles from his neighborhood and wondered how it would affect them. It won't affect them at all, but he's a nosy little bitch, so I gotta update him on that shit.

Why do I despise this cat so much? It seems like he might have some good questions and they might be misdirected. I hate him because he is officially the worst kind of man to me. This cat has a hyphenated last name. He took his wife's last name and he's hyphenated. They both are.

He gets less, just a little less, ire than the other cat I met with last year. He had a last name that opens doors in this community, so people were anxious when he came to meet with me last year. They talked about how well regarded his father was and all this other shit I didn't care about. So when we started talking, I mentioned that I was told his father was a pillar of the community. He went on to tell me that the dude wasn't his father, but his father-in-law. He took his wife's (long assed unpronounceable German) last name so that he could immerse himself in her culture. Just like that the meeting was over. At least in my head it was. Anything he said no longer counted.

Seriously, fuck these dudes.

KZ

20 comments:

Blah Blah Blah said...

My old HR Director took his wife's last name. Thought it was wack. Still think it's wack.

However, in some cultures that's the norm... well I ain't Norm.

Off topic: Ok, Eddie and Tracy were going to get married... Tracy wanted to keep Edmonds after the marriage. Was Eddie wrong for cuttin' her loose? I mean...Tracy girl wanted to keep the name of her ex-husband! I understand her haveing the business built on Edmonds... but I ain't a man...and even I know... bitch if I'm putting a ring on your finger and suckin' them ittie bitties... you ain't keeping the ex's name.

I should get my own blog huh? HA!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

my grandmother kept her ex husbands last name because she had 5 kids with him and when she passed away and her second husband had a tombstone made with his last name...my grandfather paid for a new one and had HIS last name hyphenated with her second husband's last name...i can just imagine her rolling her eyes in her grave!

Knockout Zed said...

@BBB
I only respond to BLOGGERS.

@AJ
That's a different story to me. If a woman wants to maintain a tie to her children and keep the name she married into, it's fine with me. But I'll be damned if I'm taking her name or adding her name to mine. It's just not a manly thing to do.

KZ

Blah Blah Blah said...

I have a blog address dammit!!!!!

...just sayin'...
I gotta stop comin' by and whatnot?
It's like that?!
We ain't cool no mo'?!

DJ Diva The Mixtress said...

This was hilarious! The minute u heard his name was hyphenated ...you shut down! *dead*

we can talk plainly in here right?

That's a pussy move if I ever saw one...to immerse yourself in her culture? First, dude you have your own culture...second...she's german...why bother?

onefromphilly said...

It's not customary, but it IS a form of honor. to take on someone elses name is a form of honor. If I can honor you as your wife and take on your family name. Why would you have a problem honoring my family by including my family name? I wouldn't ask my man to do it, but I'm just saying......

Knockout Zed said...

@DJ
Yeah, that dude had some issues. I'm not sure what they were, but he had 'em.

@OneFrom
It's also tradition that the woman gets penetrated during sex, not the man. Some traditions are made to be kept and not reversed.

Any man that agrees to it is suspect.

A woman can keep her old name as far as I'm concerned. And she can stay unmarried to me.

KZ

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

so are you saying that you would be like Eddie and not marry the woman if she wanted to keep her last name?

now that's deep! Suffice it say I guess now that you're off the market that's a moot point any way.

check your email much these days?

Knockout Zed said...

@AJ
Their situation is different because of the children from a previous marriage. I get her reasons for keeping her name, even though I doubt the truth of it.

KZ

Miz JJ said...

There is a famous soprano singer in Canada. She and her husband merged their two last names together to create a new last name. It's kinda weird. I think everyone should keep their own last name and children should get the name of the father. Just my two cents.

Eddie and Tracy didn't get married because of the prenup. Not no last name ish. If he didn't want her to sign a pre-nup best believe she would be Tracy Murphy right now.

Knockout Zed said...

@MizJJ
Are the last names Shatner and Twitty? Because that would be Shitty.

I made myself smile.

KZ

Angel said...

what's so wrong with taking the wife's name? maybe i'm too post modern but i'm all about bucking the system and doing what the hell you want! traditions be damned! the same way a guy wants to automatically keep his last name, what makes guys think a woman wouldn't want to keep hers? :-/

Knockout Zed said...

@FA
I say let's buck all tradition and I buy a tin whistle instead of a multi-carat engagement ring.

KZ

Beana said...

LMAO i can just imagine him shrinking as he talked after you found out he took his wifes last name.

Damn building your own reputation huh.

Yep I would have shut him down also. Punk ass!

ChezNiki said...

Im glad she came to her senses! Eddie is a angry little gay man with FIVE children. He will have to make movies after he's dead to cover his child support! He's all used up!

When grown folks get married (over age 21) neither one should change their names. Trying to get government, medical and legal documents changed in a post-9/11 world is too much trouble. If youre grown with two college degrees, property and a life in your own name, why change your name?

Wear your ring(s), make sure your kid's teachers knows which one is yours, and make sure the marital assets legally belong to both of you... and call it a day!

aquababie said...

it all depends on the couple. my first husband was pissed because i wanted to hypenate my name. i ended up not doing it but took my last name as my middle name.

now whenever the bf and i get hitched, we're creating a new family name. we're not combining our names though. he absolutely hates his last name.

chele said...

I must be old ... because if my man suggested taking my last name he would immediately be considered suspect. And let's not get it twisted, the guy referred to in the blog took his wife's name so he could be associated with her father ... not because he had some deep respect for her. He's a self-serving bastard.

1969 said...

Correction...Eddie and Tracy didn't get married because of J.G. not the pre-nup:)

proacTiff said...

I usually don't like to piggyback, but seeing Mr. Softie-Pants did it to you. ... I have the exact sentiments as Chele about softie's self-serving sentiments on the name "double." Does this make me a butch, opposite of soft?

Signed,
Pro-Chele *LMBAO*

Bananas said...

Well, if my last name was like, Pudknocker, and hers was Smith...I have to admit I'd have to stow the manhood away on that one.