Black and Decker. Geniuses. If I could only get the nerve up to start the drill and raise it to my skull and let nature take it's course, allowing the precious brain fluid spill out onto my shoulder.
It's 9:58. I've been here two minutes less than two hours. It's incredible. I'm so fucking bored. I can't leave. I'm tethered to my desk. The union has filed grievance after grievance about us asking employees not to threaten their supervisors, so HR, as clueless as they are, is calling every six seconds to ask stupid questions. "Now what exactly did Morris tell Tony to suck?"
This is how muthafuckas get fat. All I wanna do is eat and I'm not even hungry. I just want something to do.
My assistant called in sick today. He shoulda just called in "interview", cuz I know that's what he's doing. Shit, if I was him, I would be too. He's a beggin' ass partial skill having whiny bitch. I wish him nothing but the worst.
I can't wait until I'm married. Getting waited on hand and foot, sex anytime I want it, getting cooked the finest gourmet meals, having my feet scrubbed on demand. Marriage is grand.
The best thing in my life right now is coffee, as sad as that shit is. This Su.matra shit is the cat's meow. I'm almost out of it, but I'm savoring the last vestiges of it.
Allison, put the fucking blog back up.
There was this dude on A.merican Id.ol last night with a charm on his necklace and his father wore the matching piece of the interlocking charm. Apparently, he's going to give the woman he marries the piece that his father currently wears. He also has never kissed a girl and is waiting until he's married. His father fucks him in the ass nightly, I'm sure of it. The authorities have been alerted, sir!
It's still fucking snowing. Unbelievable.
Stay Warm,
KZ
16 comments:
Dayum..you are bored...LOL
And uhhh let me know how that marriage thing works out for you!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
yea..that's exactly what wives do.
Who is Allison?
Marriage DOES sound grand.
I was supposed to do all that? Maybe that's why my ass isn't married now...hmm...could be.
But as I've said before....
Better you than me my friend...better you than me.
you've been married before, so you know what you say about it is some bullshit. LOL
in the meanwhile, can't you just take the day off?!?
you are a fucking fool!
now that i've gotten that off my chest lets sing the chorus to we are brothers for life.
I'll do the Paula Adbul moves and you be on Do Wop like Randy!
@OneFrom
Yes, I am.
Wives be subservient and docile.
@BBB
Allison is a handshaker extraordinare.
And yes, you were supposed to do all that.
@Nikki
Yes, I can take the day off, but I'd rather save it for when I REALLY need it. Like a job interview.
@AJ
Yo, that tune was catchy. Extremely catchy. I'm not joking, I'd buy that single. I kept singing it over the phone and TAD was getting mad.
KZ
next time i meditate, i'm gonna meditate on you a job! you gotta get out there :)
...which is exactly why I refused to buy the power drill off my friends Sears registry when she got married. She met him on the internet and I didnt want to be responsible God Forbid things went South and she needed a murder weapon.
That's alright, joke if you want. You husbands dont have to carry babies, have periods or give handshakes.
Cant watch AI! Too much like real life. You need one of those bright a$$, anti-S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) lamps for your office.
It started off as an angry rant and finished wonderfully!
And when did you and June Cleaver get engaged? Cause I don't know where you get your marriage from. But where I am from...
I want YOUR marriage cause my marriage clearly SUCKS ROCKS.
That dude on Idol? Yeah, he and Daddy probably sleep in the same bed and try on each other's underwear.
ha! and while she's doing alladat you areout making millions, rubbin her feet everynight, going with her to lunches and teas with the girls, shopping for shoes...taking her to exotic places every summer and making the kitty kat purrr errynight and working the lawn and vacuum cleaner!! right?? riiiiiiiiiiiiight!
i am both happy (and intrigued) about your pending nuptials. congratulations to the both of yall. i can't wait to see the blogs that spark from this endeavor! :-)
Allison, put the fucking blog back up.
Dude, I'm working that too. You hold up your front and I'll hold up mine. Sooner or later, she'll see what's up.
@ Aunt jackie that shit was hilarious...Dude looked like a Vietnamese PIMP!!!!!
If Allison is who I think she is..I second that! (handshakes..LoL) I miss that spot.
Yeah Zed, I love your marriage goals.. but I'm feeling GGirls too LOL..can we get a happy medium?
I hear the Nailgun is more effective than the drill though..
;-)
I want to get married to TAD too! Heh.
I saw that dude on Idol. That was some creepy ass shit. For real. However there are men who do that with their daughters and people don't really consider that creepy....
Even Simon looked perplexed after he shared that shit.
The marriage authorities have been alerted about your bullshit tactics you plan.
Clearly you are coasting on a "boogie bored" on all that Michigan snow. Coasting ain't fun it's pure hell. An idle mind is the debil's playground. Time for a new gig; and for my ass to land one.
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