Monday, January 23, 2006

Plan B

What's up, y'all? I'm draggin' this mornin'. I had one of those talks last night. Yeah, one of those. I've been in negotiations with Thelma for about a month now. Last night talks broke down.

I told y'all a little while ago that I might be ready to settle down and start a family, pretty much for my own selfish reasons. I want a kid, period. So I decided that Thelma would be the target reproductive partner. So for a month, we've been discussing really getting back together. Last night, as Chinua Achebe and the Roots might say, things fell apart.

She tells me I don't really value her. I disagree. She says she wants to see me more. I tell her I'll try. She says that's not good enough. I ask her who it's not good enough for. She cries. I suffer.

I'm a little frugal (ok, I'm cheap). So when I go see her, we're going out and I'm paying. When she comes to see me, we're going out and I'm paying. If she doesn't come to me and I don't come to her, I save money. My logic says I need to see her a little less. Especially since I know I'm gonna owe taxes, I need to save right now. Her view is simple: she wants to see me more. That's noble I guess. It's not practical, but it's noble.

So, as I've said, negotiations have broken down. I don't know that I'd like to start them again. I'm tired of the same old fucking discussions. I just wanna keep moving. With that said, I'm on to Plan B, whatever the fuck that is.

Regards,
KZ

19 comments:

nikki said...

so clinical. there's a reason why clinical rhymes with cynical as both words imply a lack of emotion in the transaction. you deserve more and you know it.

i hope your "plan b" will leave you in less control of your happy emotions and completely puts a kick to the crack of those emotions that have made it necessary for you to view this endeavor as little more than 'spreading sperm for the sake of spawning'.

Blah Blah Blah said...

So you've put a spending limit on your quest for settling down and having Baby Zed..? Now THAT is funny.
...keep fucking around and Plan B will involve putting Zed's sperm in some test-tubes. Thelma and Baby Zed vs. Batshit and Satan's Anus.........who will be victorious?

...and you men talk about us and our issues???

Question: DO you value her?

My-Conscience said...

See The problem with some men and people in relationships is that when the communicate they never come to a conclusion, so everything will eventially come up again and again. Maybe you guys need a contract and if any of you break it one of you will suffer at the hands of whatever consequences you decide to put in this contract of yalls.... (Good Luck!) I know how you feel. I have been there.

Disco said...

Look dear. When you put out bullshit, you get bullshit. Your actions (i like how Nikki put it) are simply to "spread sperm for the sake of spawning". Zedediah, haven't WE (me and you) seen the effects that making a "it seems to be a logical thing to do" type of decision can cause????? It's just NOT gonna work. I know that you wanna have kids, but Thelma's no dumb chicken and she (as would most women) has gotten tired of the Zed-ghost (i.e. now you see him, now you don't). She genuinely cares @ u, but she's not looking for a sperm donor.

Better luck next chick.

Just let it happen. Hell, you ain't on no "bio clock" like my ass is, so let it ride! You can be 87 and procreate dude, so just CHILL !! DANG!

Knockout Zed said...

@Nikki
I'm a scientist at heart, what can I say. Sometimes nature calls. And it's asking me to reproduce. Now.

@Alli
It's not about the money. (Ever notice when someone says it's not about the money, it's always about the money?) I'm trying to introduce logic and perspective into an emotional argument. I'll never win and it's not worth it to me to keep fighting. So the answer to your question of whether or not I value her is relative. I don't value her as much as I value me.

@MCM
You're right. The same shit keeps rising to the top everytime we have a conflict. A contract won't help because I'd be trying to honor the thing and she'll be working on an illogical emotional level, undermining everything. I'm lost, man.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@Robyn
You and I both know that need fucking help! These women are killing me slowly but surely. I can't let 'em go, I need 'em all at the same time, inviting drama to my dinner table. It's that eternal chase. Endorphins, African.

KZ

Disco said...

ah....alas....endorphins.....the munkee food of the "babee munkee clan".....I know them o too well my Padawan munkeeling..but one day you shall learn....they always leave you, they always fade....they cannot be counted on......do not seek them out for they shall forsake you.....

brooklyn babe said...

you draggin??? have you seen my blog? i'm not in the mood to update...

but you need to stop being a punk, and step up to the mic, and the right now the mic call for you to settle some "old" schitt so it does not become recurring shit, evidently, you got to go back "there" to figure out how ya'll even got "here."

Albeit a tedious mundane tasks, but the sun always shines after a good grey day....
so hopefully ya'll both be stepping in the sunshine together, you grumpy ass m.f. lmao!
Love U!
(its all love, always!)

and I think nikki is trying to tell you, U need to check in to the clinic!

brooklyn babe said...

P.S. Don't you have to clear with Congress first, if you can reproduce another Zed on the streets, I'm just sayin....????

The_Practitioner said...

Sounds like someone's Biological Cock is ticking.

My advice Zed, go through your phone book and look for a brawd of "good breading" stock and plant forth your seed.

nikki said...

zed

you do scientific work. you are not a scientist. you are a human being. i can see why you would want to apply scientific methods to things as they mean there is only logic and knowledge involved, not illogic and a fear of the unknown. however, such is life. you can't think you'll be happy if having a kid requires little more than a search for a sperm dumping ground.

Blah Blah Blah said...

been deciding if I was gonna change my little avator picture.... haven't found anything that I'd want to change it to... what do you think?

in saying that.....i'd like baby budha back....what's this beatnuts shtuff?

money/time/emotions.....relationships suck! LOL

Didi Roby said...

You frugal...Now way!!!!

Just chking in on you papi:)

TRUTHZ said...

poor zed... you know adoption is an option or you could donate sperm to procreate.. you do know you would have to see Thelma more and spend more if a baby is created???? Men, what are we gonna do with yall?

toneec42 said...

Logic, huh? Well, your logic is flawed. Who says if you go to her or she comes to you, you have to go out and spend money. If you are really talking about settling down and making a baby then y'all, who ever the other half of y'all is, will need to be comfortable in each other's presence without having to do "something".

And guess what? Those kinds of "dates" are free. Oh and women enjoy them more. Sane women of substance trying to settle down and make babies that is. That's what she was trying to tell you. Men! Don't y'all know anything?!

Ms.Honey said...

Being cheap and having a kid don't go together LOL....how does she feel about being the "bithing central" for lil baby z?

Knockout Zed said...

@Honey-Libra
She's the one with the ticking clock, not me. She's with it, but for more than reproduction. I'm trying to have kids before I'm in a damn walker myself.

I'm a frugal muthafucka. Just cuz diapers say "disposable" don't mean you just gotta use 'em once!

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@Alli
Oh yeah, I forgot to address your second comment. That other avatar was a baby monkey candle I got a friggin' TJ Maxx for a dollar. My new one is in celebration of the greatest hip hop CD no one's ever hear of. On one of the songs they call a sucka MC a "baby monkey". It's all related, baby!

KZ

Anonymous said...

I do not know you, but dealing w/ this chick just to have a baby is just wrong. Just wait until you find someone you love. Hell, date someone younger. You know women require alot of time and effort. Why at your age would you think that you could do the least and reap some benefits. Just chill, find someone you mind waking up to every morning and in the meantime become a big brother or a foster parent. Hell, adopt a baby form Africa. Whatever you do, do not include someone in your sceme 'just' to beomce a father. The very thought of it makes my stomach hurt.

Peace,

D_N_LA