Yo, peoples! What's up? I was out yesterday, backslidin' like a muthafucka. I was at the mall with Batshit. I hadn't seen her since before Christmas. I called her when I was on my way to the mall and she was already there, so we hooked up. After failing once again to buy a new briefcase (mine was stolen when they broke into Big Blue), we left to go to the bookstore/coffeehouse.
Me and Batshit walk in and who did I see? E.T. that's the fuck who! It had to happen sooner or later. This is a small fuckin' city. I tell Batshit to go order and I walked over to E.T. "Hey!" "Hey! Happy New Year!"
Now E.T. had been calling me when I was in Detroit. Texting me and all that shit. "Hey Papi!" and all types of irrelavant shit. Really irrelavant when you consider she hasn't given up the ass. I never responded to any of her messages. But here we were, face to muthafuckin' face.
"Was that Batshit?" she asks. I'm taken aback. E.T. knows Batshit. I should have known. "Yeah, that's Batshit. Y'all know each other?" I ask. "Well she's from Beelzebub's Colon, too." That's right, these broads are from the same hometown. I was introduced to them by the same broad. I shoulda known better. "I see y'all on a little coffee date." Whenever a bitch calls anything "little", that means that shit is ultra significant to her. Except your dick. That's really "little".
"Naw, not really a date. That's my girl. She's cool. What you been up to?" She's walking slowly as I'm talking to her. "Nothing much. Working out and stuff. I got an exercise facility at my complex. Maybe you can come by and we can swim." She stops walking and waves. I look behind me and Batshit is waving back. "I can't swim" I reply, distracted, obviously not getting the fucking hint. She smiles at me "What are you doing later?" "I don't know. Batshit gotta go to a meeting." "Oh. I'll let you finish your little coffee date. Call me later." She walks out. "Yeah, okay." I walk over to Batshit.
"Who was that?" I notice that she's not wearing her glasses. "That was E.T." "E.T.? How do you know E.T.?" "Through ya girl Poppins." "Oh. Oooh. She like you?" "Probably. Who doesn't? Even with this pie face." "It's more like a cake!" she laughs. And we drink coffee.
Me and Batshit walk in and who did I see? E.T. that's the fuck who! It had to happen sooner or later. This is a small fuckin' city. I tell Batshit to go order and I walked over to E.T. "Hey!" "Hey! Happy New Year!"
Now E.T. had been calling me when I was in Detroit. Texting me and all that shit. "Hey Papi!" and all types of irrelavant shit. Really irrelavant when you consider she hasn't given up the ass. I never responded to any of her messages. But here we were, face to muthafuckin' face.
"Was that Batshit?" she asks. I'm taken aback. E.T. knows Batshit. I should have known. "Yeah, that's Batshit. Y'all know each other?" I ask. "Well she's from Beelzebub's Colon, too." That's right, these broads are from the same hometown. I was introduced to them by the same broad. I shoulda known better. "I see y'all on a little coffee date." Whenever a bitch calls anything "little", that means that shit is ultra significant to her. Except your dick. That's really "little".
"Naw, not really a date. That's my girl. She's cool. What you been up to?" She's walking slowly as I'm talking to her. "Nothing much. Working out and stuff. I got an exercise facility at my complex. Maybe you can come by and we can swim." She stops walking and waves. I look behind me and Batshit is waving back. "I can't swim" I reply, distracted, obviously not getting the fucking hint. She smiles at me "What are you doing later?" "I don't know. Batshit gotta go to a meeting." "Oh. I'll let you finish your little coffee date. Call me later." She walks out. "Yeah, okay." I walk over to Batshit.
"Who was that?" I notice that she's not wearing her glasses. "That was E.T." "E.T.? How do you know E.T.?" "Through ya girl Poppins." "Oh. Oooh. She like you?" "Probably. Who doesn't? Even with this pie face." "It's more like a cake!" she laughs. And we drink coffee.
Peace,
KZ
9 comments:
men all over will be bowing down to you...are you really that smooth? just got gurls throwing it at you... must be nice
.....and so the Batshit saga continues....
smooth muthafucka! any other ordinary african would have stumbled...fumbled and fell right on his face...YOU?! fell right into step and kept that shit short and sweet, with the least amount of info and even added some jokes... I wanna be you in my next life...minus the having to live in the Anus part!!!!
wait....I ain't Harlem Munkee anymore....
dammit, let me know when you change my name...
AlliMunkee admiring Zed Master!!!!!
I think it's now time for that ode to your dick...You've earned it after smoothly playing that one off.
And you are SOOOOOO right about us and the word, "little". Now if other penis' can catch on...
@IBW
You know I luv you! How am I not gonna speak to you! I gotta come over. I've been slacking (home computer issues)
KZ
Your shit is better than "It's Your World"...I swear!!
What, only one mall? All ya'all in a bookstore/coffeeshop? Satan's Anus is really small huh?
Dawg! Beelzebub's Colon???? That was the funniest shit I've heard in some time dawg! I LITERALLY choked on my coffee from laughing when I read that shit!! You are a funny mu'fucka! People just DON'T know!!! LOL
Zedmiester, I was gonna say that's why i don't live in a small town. But hell. Who am I kidding, that scenario would happen to me in a big city. I could be in New York Times Square when the ball is droppin' with like a million Africans on hand, be with a chick and still get spotted or run into another chick that I know. lol
Oh yeah Zed, prepare to make an cameo appearance in an upcoming story of mine.
Yep, its a small world no matter where you are (smile)
"Beelzebub's Colon" - hilarious!!!
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