Monday, April 09, 2007

PSB

I came back from my long weekend in the "D" pretty hyped. I had a lot of fun, even though I can't put my finger on an actual activity that I participated in, I just had fun. But that's not the reason I was hyped. It was a S.opranos return, and I don't fuck around and miss The Sopr.anos for shit. I planned my whole evening around it. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's the truth.

If there are any fans of the show reading this, I'd surely like to know what your favorite part of last night's episode was. I have a favorite that I'm sure didn't even register with anybody else.

My favorite was when Tony was getting head from Carmela. She finished and came up and said "Happy Birthday". That shit was beautiful. You know why? Because she obviously swallowed, that's why!

It's moments like those that make an African participate in PSB or Pussy Seeking Behavior. Dudes are always looking over the fence thinking about how good another cat has it. Another dude's woman swallows, or cooks, or is into role playing, or knows how to use a cattle prod. I don't know what it could be, whatever floats a dude's boat. If he ain't gettin' it at the crib, he's envious of some dude that's getting it and taking it for granted.

You gotta keep an eye out to see if your dude is afflicted with PSB. New underwear purchases, wearing cologne to the gym, absent-mindedly leaving his wedding band off all the time, hanging out with the boys until a ridiculous hour, or meticulous "manscaping" are usually pretty good indicators of PSB.

If your dude has been diagnosed with PSB, it is your duty to help him. Continuing education classes are a good start. Take that pole dancing class, learn to cook, practice your oral acumen with a banana and confectioner's sugar, whatever it takes. We are a nation afflicted. PSB can be eradicated.

Your friend,
KZ

32 comments:

1969 said...

What if the woman is afflicted with DSB? LMAO

Angie said...

You sir, are a clown! You know damn well a man can be getting sexed, swallowed and fed at home. His clothes can be freshley laundered and his children well cared for. This jackass will still seek pussy if he chooses to. It is a fact. And you know this. But because you are a man, you use every opportunity to get us too cook and swallow to greater proportions! Damn you!

Stepping down from my soap box....switching off.....trying to make my butt look bigger. : )

Knockout Zed said...

@Sixy
There are those women. But "D" is so easy for women to get, I don't see why they would have to do anything special to get it. We're trying to give it away!!!

I'm more afraid of a woman with PSB, 'cuz I can't help her.

@Angie
An afflicted dude will always seek it out. I'm just bullshitting about a cure! LOL!

Just stay bent over. It'll look big enough. LOL!

KZ

BZ said...

LMMFAO!!! That is hillarious. I was flipping between Desperate Housewives and The Sopranos. Didn't catch that part, though. Watching physicality between ugly members of the recessive gene pool doesn't really do it for me. Thanks for the 411, though. I'll have to keep it in mind. Glad I already know how to cook. :-)

Miss Ahmad said...

pig like being...

onefromphilly said...

I was another one of those that shut-it-down at 8:55 EDT for the Sopranos. My favorite scene was the fight between Tony and Bobby. It was like watching two water buffalo spar at the watering hole. LMAO
And for your information Carmella spit it out on the sheet. Dang…didn’t you see that part?????

Anyway pole dancing lessons are a good idea, along with working out in the gym. I can’t exactly explain it but there’s something really sexually stimulating about working out with weights and doing resistance training. I guess it’s the abs and kegel exercises involved. Uhhh…. can’t speak on that banana and sugar thingy, but I’mma agree that the PSB thing does need to be eradicated!

Glad you had a good weekend!

Anonymous said...

My favorite part was the actual party...the top notch liquor/food spread, game of monopoly's, reminiscing with family....and the inevitable fight to top it all off, and I can't believe Carmela was trying to convince herself that Tony is not vindicative (and that's putting it mildly). It never cease to amaze me the lies some women will try to convince themselves of to make their man out to be better than the asshole they are!!!!!

chezniki said...

@One - Once the pilates teacher told me that working your "core" would help me have stronger orgasms? I was like bring on the leg circles, Gurl!!! LOL

@Knockout - Taking it for granted, that's it in a nutshell, Zed! (pun fully intended) Dudes getting the swallowing, cooking and draws-washing services, want the cattle prod. Dude getting the cattle prod wants a stun-gun. StunGunMan wants a live gerbil up his ...

As a straight woman, you damned if you do, damned if you dont. And men change what they want, based on who they would like to cheat with this week.

Long story short? Im not swallowing (again) until after I get some jewelry, d*mn it! LOL

Royce's Daughter said...

I love the Soprano's...my prediction is Tony is going to get wacked the final episode. I thought he'd end up in the pen but that's too obvious.

And why did I know that would be your favorite scene...LOL!! Actually it was one of my fav's too....but for different reasons. I was feeling the fact that him and Carm are connecting again...so much so that she felt like waking him up on his birthday like that. I want to feel that was as much as possible in my marriage...if I ever have one.

Oh BTW...I think she swallowed it!!

LMAO @ this whole convo though...FREAK!

Nika Laqui said...

Thanks for the advice, I'm so sure my man isn't affected yet....considering I cook and all....

Hell, I am finding it so difficult to take things hella slow, so he doesn't think I'm a freak yet....
Its crazy, I know, but I must give the impression of being a demure blofessional....lol

Nika Laqui said...

And I hate the Sopranos, I just hate it, but I love all other Italian Mafia movies, Sopranos, just seems so fake to me....

Knockout Zed said...

@All Y'all
I luv each and every one of you, I swear! LOL!

@BZ
Yeah, keep cookin'. LOL

@Miss Ahmad
I prefer "LCD".

@OneFrom
I don't remember no spittin'!

@Anon
Couldn't you just feel that shit was gonna end badly? They never just have fun. "Tony's not vindictive". That shit was priceless.

@Chez
There is nothing in the world like new pussy. I can't explain it. But once a muthafucka comes to realize there's not all there is, he can remain focused on his real relationship.

This is the truth: I couldn't hit the broad side of a coochie a few months ago. Now that I'm comfortable in my skin, offers stay on the table. That's what tempts us idiots.

@RD
I want him to end up pitiful and broken, not dead. I hope they kill A.J. or something. That young muthafucka can't handle that Spanish chocha. Tattoo'in her name on his arm and shit. Asshole.

She did swallow!!!

@Nika
Blowfessional? Nice!!! And you cook...?

The Sopranos really looks to me like that's the way the family life of one of these muthafuckas would look. Trying to fit into suburbia and shit, kids all "American" and unruly and shit. I love that about it. A mobster with a daughter named Meadow. That's so yuppie it's ridiculous.

KZ

aquababie said...

i gotta watch the episode tonight...i had to dvr it.

and yes, you are so silly!

Nika Laqui said...

Have you seen or heard from RobMack?
Did he fake his death or something?

Knockout Zed said...

@Aqua
The ep is fantastic. You'll enjoy it.

@Nika
Rob Mack is bullshittin'! I know he's out there lurking.

KZ

Proactiff said...

[Married man's version of PSB]

Him: Honey/Babe/Sweetie/Sweetums/My Queen [excessive use of terms of endearment] ... Whatever you want, your desire is my command.

Her: [Popping neck showing signs of discomfort, however, NOT saying a word]

Him: [Rushing over to give a neck/shoulder/scalp massage all while his nature begins to rise; unfastening her bra to cup and "massage" the girls; whispering in her ear ... "You feel so tense. Why don't you go on up and take your shower. I got dinner. I'll bathe the kids. You just go relax. Get some sleep. You had a long day."

Her: [Rolling eyes without him noticing...Silently thinking ... Sleep, hell! So your ass can wake me up just when it's getting good to me?]

And they live ... everly after. ...

sj-the-infamous said...

"a banana and confectioner's sugar"...wow, learn something new e'ryday!

Knockout Zed said...

@Tiff
Yeah, that sounds about right to me. That and taking out the trash plus washing dishes.

@SJ
We all learn something new everyday if we're willing to be taught.
*wink*

KZ

Royce's Daughter said...

LMAO @ Tiff...girl you're friggin crazy...HILARIOUS AS SHYT!!! But awwwwwwwww I pray not the case for me Heaven's to Mercatroid..LOL!!

@ Zeddie I came back cause I thought of something...you aint slick *african* I want details from your weekend with TAD *ehem*...take your time, I'll wait...

And PS...1)she's his wife 2) he's keeping her happy at the moment, 3) it was his birthday, and 4) they were on a romantic lake away from them annoying azz kids...OF COURSE SHE SWALLOWED *wink*

Knockout Zed said...

@RD
How many men out there have never cheated on their wives, keep her happy most of the time, have birthdays and never get head, let alone swallowed? They are the silent majority: PSB sufferers.

No TAD details!!!

KZ

Mr.Slish said...

Ya'll are killin me I HAVENT'T SEEN THE FIRST EPISODE YET!!!! lemme stop reading these comments..

Proactiff said...

I thought every day was his birthday? Talk about silent suffering...
I-give-hubby-head-hubby-no-cum-inside-I-left-with-aching-jaws-talking-bout-he-got-respect-for-me;I-say-he-uptight-and-can't-let-himself-go...

chezniki said...

@Proactiff-WOW!

@Royce's-I peeped that too. He all in love, now he thinks he's slick!

@Zed-Taken (care of) men always look more attractive... I know youre walking the streets of The Anus talking about, "Back then they didnt want me, now Im hot..."

Hassan said...

Man, never seen a single ep of Tony and the fam.

I need to hardwire myself to not get afflicted with PSB. Maybe there's a class I can enroll sista gurl in...

Royce's Daughter said...

@ Zeddie...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

@ Tiff...LMFAO!!! Seriously Momma you need to write a column somewhere HA!!!

@ Zeddie again...1) if I love and trust him I'm good with doing whatever it takes but perhaps I am in the minority and 2) can you stop being such a tight azz and give us some juicy tid bit from your weekend before I am reduced to starting rumors LOL!!...just one Geeezzzzuuuuuzzzzz!!! LMAO!!!

Miz JJ said...

I got hooked on the Sopranos from my brother. He loves that show. He got me hooked on Entourage too. I hope they kill Meadow, but the bullet was meant for Tony. She dies in his arms. Melodramatic, but I would enjoy it.

Lol @ PSB. I thought if a man was breathing he was in PSB mode.

chele said...

And this has been a public service announcement from KZ TV.

Knockout Zed said...

@Slish
Sorry man!

@Tiff
Head like that will make him feel like it's his birthday every day!

@Chezniki
I think the cluelessness makes me more attractive. The stupid "duhhhhh" look on my grill as I walk around obliviously might be it.

@Hassan
Pole dancing classes given daily at the Vu. It helps!

@RD
OK, you know how I fuckin' hate the movies? Me and TAD went to see Pride this weekend. It was rote and emotionally manipulative, but I still enjoyed it, aside from the homoeroticism of shirtless young men playing in the water. Is that better?

@Miz JJ
It's been done. Godfather Part III. Come to think of it, that means no one saw it before. That's brilliant JJ!

You got a point about PSB. Maybe I misspoke.

@Chele
...we now return to your regularly scheduled program.

KZ

BKBajan said...

http://www.tv-links.co.uk - hey you guys can use this link to watch any tv shows you miss.

aquababie said...

i didn't start watching it until maybe season 4. one of my ex-bf loved this show. i watched with him one day and was hooked.

Miz JJ said...

I especially like the idea of killing Meadow because it would leave him with only AJ. If that is not punishment I do not know what is.

J said...

PSB - now thats a new term that I will have to reuse.

Lol at Angie

J dont need to say no more...angie said what I was thinking :D