Monday, August 13, 2007

Ball Droppin'

Happy Left Handers Day!!!
Representing that sinister shit


I know I'm not perfect. Hell, most times I really suck. But I spend a lot of time and effort not trying to let people down. I've talked about how much I hate flakes, and I try not to be one. I spend a lot of time trying not to disappoint. If someone I care about is counting on me, I'll do everything I can to be there.

I hold everybody in my life to that same standard. It's a recipe for disaster.

I spend most of the time disappointed in muthafuckas who don't live up to the standards I set for myself. As a matter of fact, there is almost no way one can recover from my disappointment. I just put your ass in a box, a box for people that don't measure up. I'll never ask you for anything again. You're a fuck up. Rejoice!

I've let that shit poison my relationships with everybody. I hold you in high esteem, you disappoint me on a major issue, we're done. We can be friends, but you can't ask me for shit.

My brother is in that box, my best friend from age 5 to age 30 is in that box, the first step to my divorce was my wife being put in that box, most of the cats I grew up with are in that box.

You get one good chance to shit on me, after that, you have a superficial friend. I'm not in your corner, not really.

I've been trying really hard not to be so hard on other folks. It's rough, but I think I'll meditate and try to come up with a solution. I have to come to grips with the fact that most people suck.

Peace,
KZ

10 comments:

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

okay so that's why you never call or you never write huh?

fine zed i'm sorry, and i'm getting back into my box now:-)

i hope your weekend was bit more upbeat than your blog posting!

1969 said...

Thank God most of my friends and family are forgiving and still believe in me despite my f*ck ups, flaws and bad decisions. In case you didn't know, I am far from perfect. :)

Anonymous said...

Since I know how you are on this subject....

I am very thankful that you took me out of that box...'cause I am pretty sure that missing out on us not being buddy ol' pals would have been something I would have regretted.
...and I don't regret much in life.

Ummm, I truly hope this isn't in response to your plans you had this weekend...truly!

Knockout Zed said...

@AJ
What the hell? You know better than that!!!

My weekend was pretty darn good. I'm still like the thang that frightened Ichabod Crane, though.

@Sixy
I doubt that you fuck up like the people I put in those boxes fucked up. You have no idea!

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@U Know
I hold my friends to pretty ridiculous standards, but I'm trying to get better. I think you and me are gonna be just fine.

My weekend was nice. Went to Lake Michigan and everything. This is not about that.

KZ

onefromphilly said...

Do people get put in that box for just one fuk-up?
And how do they get out?
Cause otherwise that would have to be a big azz box!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

zed i just had to take a moment to poke at you a little bit.

I think i give some people more chances than other, it's my human nature i suppose but at the end of the day there's a line that shouldn't be crossed in friendship with me. if and when it's crossed i'm done, i have done this with people some of which are actually related to me, but my theory is that if people cannot accept the person you are or have become, and can't respect your boundaries then it's not a friendship anyway..

most people don't suck..but people by nature are imperfect.

the search for perfection is the road to depression and other dark shit!

Knockout Zed said...

@OneFrom
There's no MINOR fuck up that can put anybody in that box. If I'm counting on you and you tell me you'll be there, I believe you. If you tell me you can't, I'll live with it. But if you say you will and you aren't, you're in the box.

There's no getting out of it, really. I just no longer count on you. I no longer consider you a TRUE friend.

@AJ
It's the having my back thing that gets me. I don't ask for help or support much. But if you say you got me, I hope you do.

KZ

Little Brown Girl said...

I try not to suck but I usually end up sucking despite my best efforts. *scratching my head* That didnt come out quite right but hopefully you get my point. I'm trying to be better...consider me a work in progress

aquababie said...

people have told me that i don't hold others to high enough standards. it's hard sometimes to create a balance.

as for me, i try very hard not to disappoint others. i was a real people pleaser. i'm learning not to be so extreme about it.