Friday, November 16, 2007

The Search For Actual Meaning Amongst Symbols

Everytime we want to express our feelings we grasp for the correct symbol to do so. If you love someone, you send flowers. If you hate someone, you send an article of their clothing in a tampon box to their job (it happened to my big cousin Juan). If you're a patriot, you put a flag up and gaze at it adoringly. If you are an asshole, you wear monogrammed shirts bearing the initials ZXZ. All of these things are symbols, things we do almost without thinking. The biggest part of the problem is not thinking. It's reflexive symbolism.

The greatest symbols in the world are words. Words stand in for feelings. We all agree that a word "means" something, and that's that. But do we ever stand back and think about that shared feeling. If someone says to you "I'm angry", you get an ideal of what that means and what it feels like, but does it really convey the rawness and the immediacy of that emotion?

When someone sees a cross on a building, do they instantly think of the suffering of Jesus at his crucifixion or do they think "That must be a church"? When you see a church these days, you don't think much of sacrifice, at least not at the mega ones. Overused symbols lose all meaning.

The basis of me writing this is to describe a struggle I've been having for awhile. I've wanted to expunge all bullshit symbolism from my life. I'm searching for the ultimate "me".

I eschew all clothing that identifies me as a "part" of some organization or legacy. I minimize what I say. And I try to be efficient in what I write. It's part of my backlash against movies and a gang of books. "That dark alley way symbolizes the journey that he takes on the way to salvation." You know what? Fuck that dark alley way. Just show me the journey, well lit and shit.

In America, we tend to put too much weight into what certain words or actions symbolize in a person. The over-reliance on symbols to tell us what we seek to understand lead us to ignore the real, the palpable, the ACTUAL. I want us to participate in the world around us, it's telling us so much, instead of relying on symbols to do the grunt work for us.

Feel me?

Be Cool,


Blah Blah Blah said...

I am all for the ACTUAL...

Off topic: Do you know how much respect I have for YOU.

Hope you and TAD have fun in Fla. Talk to yo when we both get back into town.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

Are you having an existential crisis? Have you been reading Camus lately?

Inquiring minds wanna know.

Knockout Zed said...

Actual, factual, my African. Word booty.

You enjoy your holiday journey, too.

I might be having an existential crisis, but I've never read Camus, Sartre, none of 'em.


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i love love love Camus, it makes me not feel guilty for feeling apathetic and/or morose.

but i don't think you're taking any more media suggestions for me.

Happy Holidaze!! Have fun!!

proacTiff said...

[Off topic] If I were a stalker, I'd be on I-75 next Thursday looking for you and TAD. What if we're related; seeing half my family is from the area (and Mr. Pro's side is from St. Pete). I'm jus' saying. Y'all would hit it off quite nicely I'm sure.

I think that my symbols get lost in all of my verboseness.

Forget you- Turkey! Happy gobbling.

Knockout Zed said...

I might take some recommendations. No more "Unbearable" suggestions, though. LOL

We honestly could be related. Both my parents are Tampa born and raised. I got 7 aunts and uncles on my mother's side, 8 aunts and uncles on my father's side. It wouldn't be far fetched that we're cousins.

Stop bringing back my verbose comment!!!


Anonymous said...

Definitely has me thinking now.

aquababie said...

first of all, this made my head hurt! LOL

seriously, i try very hard to make my words match my actions. my bf might disagree, but that's another conversation.

1969 said...

Is this about sex?

Knockout Zed said...

Expound, please!

As long as you're striving for the real, it should be cool.

It's about them damn crackas and they damn flag.


ChezNiki said...

...using the words, "I love you" followed by the symbolism of buying her a ring...