Monday, October 13, 2008


I had a chance to have a good long talk with my friend, Three yesterday. It was full of details on the bachelor party he's gonna miss and the general nature of my patience, or lack thereof.

For the record, he knows that I could give a fuck less about a bachelor party, but it would've been good to see all my boys in one place for a big alcohol filled night. So I basically called him so I could call him a muthafucka for not making the trip. Muthafucka.

What this wise sage of man did impart to me was his vast knowledge of patience and his familiarity of my lack of it. It's always funny listening to a muthafucka who ain't married, ain't never been married, and likely will never get married talking to me about marriage. Bastard. That being said, he made some pretty good points about knowing how I am.

First off, I suck at telling anybody anything because I expect them to know what I'm talking about with a minimum of words. I fucking hate talking, so I always take shortcuts, hence, a bunch of misunderstandings.

Secondly, I can't help but to question one's intelligence if I have to tell them something twice. After I tell somebody something for the second time, seriously, fuck them. Because I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and they blew it.

Thirdly, nothing ever changes. You can talk until you're blue in the face, and people don't listen to shit you have to say most of the time. Why waste your time saying it? There is no reason.

And fourth, I know that people are COMFORTABLE BEING COMFORTABLE and will do as little as possible to increase your comfort while decreasing theirs, in the name of love or whatever. Half-assedness abounds. Either you accept it or you don't.

I thought this time here in Satan's Anus has made me better, but I think it's made me worse. More anti-social, because I hate the way people react to the shit I say or don't say, more irresponsible, because fuck living up to a commitment to hang or go to a barbeque when you don't give a fuck whether or not you lose that person's friendship, more evil, because fuck everybody else, really.

That's about it.



proacTiff said...

i get you. and i laugh to boot. now go, drink, be marry (and merry) while doing all of those things. i'll patiently wait for your return.

proacTiff said...

p.s. don't think kids will merit you newfound patience. ha! that shit gets worse. gotta love 'em tho'.

ChezNiki said...

...which is exactly why, if its really important, I put it in writing. They cant say they didnt know and I can act accordingly.

Three may not know how to be married but he does know you.

I came over to see how youre holding up. You still evil, but you're prolly nervous too which adds to the evilocity. Take a deep breath and enjoy your party. Hang in there, your life of bliss will begin soon

BZ said...

I love reading you so much because you write all the sh*t I think in my head but rarely have the balls to say. I LOATHE repeating myself. That's why I've given up on leaving voicemails lately because nobody f*cking listens to them before they call you back, requiring me to repeat myself. I guess I should be grateful they call me back, though? Nah. F*ck'em. LOL Hope you're well!