Punk Bitches and Declarative Statements

G'day folks. I'm prepping to enter another meeting today hoping it's less like most of my meetings. It won't be different, but at least I can hope.

My least favorite part of the meeting is the inevitable chiming in of "the smart people". You see, I go through most of these meeting shutting the fuck up. I don't wanna be there, I don't have anything to contribute, I'm here because I was asked to, so why the fuck should I talk? If I want to know anything from anybody, I'll email them. I don't need to sit face to face with anybody to get information. But the smart people definitely want you to know they're always thinking. They gotta let you know they've framed the discussion for you, to make things easier for the bosses and other less smart people. My boss is a good one for this shit.

"We're doing important work here and it's good that people want to work with us."

What the fuck does that mean? Actually, I get what it means, but why was it said? For what reason? To let people know they do important work? To let them know that people want to work with us? Or is it to declare that you have a big picture understanding of the project we're discussing? I think it's the latter, because that statement does ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY nothing to add to the quality of the discussion or the information sharing that's going on.

"We are focused on our goals and ready for the next steps, whatever they may be."

What? Man, fuck you. We convened a gotdamn meeting so you could practice your empty fucking platitudes, you bifocaled demi-male? I gotta get back online. I gotta finish reading some shit on Gawker. com

You can keep your framing shit. I'm too fucking lazy to be inspired by empty rhetoric.

KZ

Why Shouldn't You Be Shot In The Head And Left In A Ditch?

So, last night I was at a city commission meeting. Representatives from various neighborhood groups came before the commission and spoke about their concerns.

The first representatives came up and talked about the trash trucks. They come really early in the morning. Then they talked about the construction of the upscale condos in their neighborhood. The noise of economic development makes them get up too early.

The next neighborhood rep came up and talked about an intersection near her home. When she's returning home from work, the sun is in her eyes when she tries to make a left turn there.

The last rep wanted to know how the city would help those people who bought too much house for their income bail out of a bad foreclosure situation. The city's obligated to help muthafuckas with poor decision making skills.

A young dude stepped up and told them that he had done some research and found out that the city's zoning decisions downtown were poorly thought out. This same dude interviewed with me 6 months ago and I told him he was unqualified. He stood up and took a shot at me in this meeting and said his research proved I sucked.

The commission decided to allow only one period of public comment instead of two at subsequent commission meetings. This caused an uproar. One lady came up to the podium to say the single comment period was an attempt to silence the homeless population, who currently dominate the meetings. If the only period to comment is at the end of the meeting, most of the homeless have to leave by then. The shelter won't keep their beds if they are late checking in.

After a day filled with meetings, I get to look forward to a night full of meetings. I know I don't like Satan's Anus, but it's not just Satan's Anus. I want no parts of this municipal bullshit anymore. I'm tired. Sick and tired. No politician can solve all your stupid assed problems. Everything you spew out of your empty assed head ain't manna from above. Sometimes you ARE too stupid to live. You just are.

KZ

No Liquor, Just TV

Why are there three days between Monday and Friday? Those days are pure torture. Last night I had a meeting. From 7 pm to 10 pm. Outraged citizens. Their point was made within 30 minutes. Yet, they continued to speak. Each one arrogantly saying shit the person in front of them said, believing that THEY would be the ones to articulate the exactly same shit in a much better way. Public discourse is over-fucking-rated. I hate people, and outraged citizens are mean people who lie to garner sympathy for their cause.

I'm saying all this to say those muthafuckas made me miss my favorite shows on Thursday night. That ain't cool!!!

Now I have to wait for the shits to get posted online.


I love this show. I love The Office, too, but I couldn't find a good visual representation of it.

I've always thought Tracy Morgan was underrated. Always been a fan. Still no word on what's up with Tina Fey's face. On Thursdays, NBC is runnin' shit again. Except for fuckin' ER. Seriously, what's up with that?

I got to see one of the most unloved shows on TV last night, a show I'm absolutely addicted to.

You really have to have a pretty goofy sense of humor to appreciate it. They just don't give a fuck.

I really didn't have shit to say today. Just that I'm about to watch The Boondocks on line and veg out on somebody's dime. They owe me 3 hours.

Peace,
KZ

The Vegetarian Post

Or "No More Meet"

I'm sitting in the room, claustrophobic. Questions were being raised that an infant would know the answer to. Yet, these grown men, seven in all, kept grinding away.

I'm there wishing I was dead. Not really dead, but at least disconnected from my body. Floating out the door.

"How long have you worked on this plan? How many people?"

Who gives a fuck you fuckin' man fucking asshole. Why are you prolonging this meeting? It was scheduled for an hour, 3:00 to 4:00. It's now 4:45. Who schedules a meeting for 3:00 when you work for a municipality anyway. I had a boss who used to tell me two things: Fifty nine-fifty nine, and 10 and 2.

Fifty nine-fifty nine was how long you had his attention. 59 minutes, 59 seconds. Everything else was bullshit, so get to your point. 10 and 2 were the timeframes to set meetings. He didn't meet outside of that window. You had him for an hour between 10 am and 2 pm. That's all you got. It worked perfectly. That's the only thing to love about big city bureaucracy. You can make arbitrary assed rules for yourself.

My current boss loves meetings. He'll call a meeting for anything. "I need to know who loves ginger snaps. Tuesday, 8:30 we'll get together and discuss it."

He'll frequently call meetings or keep standing meetings and start with "Well, I don't have anything on my agenda..." and his voice will trail off. Who the fuck does that?

The meeting I'm sitting in gets worse. All these non-sequitur assed questions. I liken this to a f*ggot's picnic, lots of mutual dicksuckin'. I can't wait to leave. It's unbearable.

When we finally broke up, it was 4:55. The last few minutes are interminable. Nobody wants to wrap it up. I'd been sitting there for almost two hours and didn't say a word except my name and title in the beginning. There was absolutely no reason for me to be there.

"It was good to meet you", I lied as I was leaving, searching for the sanity I left in my office.

Stay Bitter,
KZ