I was thinking about starting a new blog with photos of fat women in wedding dresses. What do y'all think? I think a fat girl in a wedding dress is the most adorable thing in the world, so I'm trying to gauge interest to see if that's just me. Probably, but still...I like the idea.
After not being able to jumpstart myself on this book I've been writing forever, I'm moving on to a new book. It's part self help book and part novel. It's called Deconstructing K.e.i.s.h.a. and it's gonna be HOT SHIT, my friends. I have a concept and it's sorta like Watchmen, but not a graphic novel and not about superheroes. It's structurally like the Watchmen novel, not content wise. I can't wait to really start it. I've just created the outline for the story, which I usually never do.
I'm trying to wade back into seeing my friends since I live one hour away from them now instead of 2 1/2 hours. I come their way, but I'll be damned if they don't make the occasional drive to my neck of the woods.
Still trying to get out of Satan's Anus employment-wise as soon as I can, but it's not easy. The economy is picking up in some sectors, but not in the public sector. We'll see, I still have many, many irons in the fire.
Be Cool, kids.
KZ
Showing posts with label miscellany. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscellany. Show all posts
Monday, May 10, 2010
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Let's All Be Dumb
My assistant sent out an email yesterday reminding the secretaries to watch their timeliness when arriving at work, that the public expects them to be there at the reception desk at 8:00 am. My secretary sent him a scathing reply, telling him she didn't like being included in an email admonishing bad behavior, especially since she wasn't a tardy person EVER.
She told me about the email she sent back to my assistant. I asked her why she sent it. She told me that she didn't like being included in the email. I told her it was a blanket email and that she should disregard anything that didn't apply to her. She was beside herself with anger. The ideal that someone would impugn her good name by including her on that email. No one sends her emails that commend her on coming in early. The nerve of us!!! Crazy bitch.
There's this cat in the town over that's just running through hoes, one after the other, just bangin' 'em out. The women are enthralled because he's got a lot of style and he's a DOCTOR!!! OMG, a single black doctor! Wait, you say he's a chiropractor? So he's only a "doctor". They are impressed by a gotdamn "doctor". He might as well be a cop or a cashier. Fucking lunatics.
This place in general makes me wanna take my life with a bullet to the temple. Just blow my own fucking head clean off.
KZ
She told me about the email she sent back to my assistant. I asked her why she sent it. She told me that she didn't like being included in the email. I told her it was a blanket email and that she should disregard anything that didn't apply to her. She was beside herself with anger. The ideal that someone would impugn her good name by including her on that email. No one sends her emails that commend her on coming in early. The nerve of us!!! Crazy bitch.
There's this cat in the town over that's just running through hoes, one after the other, just bangin' 'em out. The women are enthralled because he's got a lot of style and he's a DOCTOR!!! OMG, a single black doctor! Wait, you say he's a chiropractor? So he's only a "doctor". They are impressed by a gotdamn "doctor". He might as well be a cop or a cashier. Fucking lunatics.
This place in general makes me wanna take my life with a bullet to the temple. Just blow my own fucking head clean off.
KZ
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Miscellania
Big Hot Funky Shit Encrusted Mess
I was in a meeting yesterday and we had a "community activist" in the office. In this town (or in most towns, actually) that means a jobless or underemployed kook that has nothing better to do than bemoan the lack of Neighborhood Watch signs on his or her block. This lady represents her neighborhood in a paid position. All I've ever seen her do is smoke and eat. One time I came to her office to meet with her and she was sleeping HARD with her head on her desk, snoring and slobbering. She's a black lady with a short, perpetually uncombed afro that always seems to have a lint ball in the front of it. She has questionable bathing hygiene and a lack of coordination that couldn't be achieved by Stevie Wonder or the Governor of New York. Yesterday, her stankin' ass had on some manner of headwrap that would have to be seen to be believed. No, I didn't listen to the broad, I was too busy holding my breath. I have no idea what she talked about.
The Short Sleep
Is it possible for a man to die from boredom? Last night I could not fall asleep. I was awake until 4:00 am with the alarm clock set for 6:30 am. Reading boring shit didn't work. Masturbation? No thanks. My dick is currently chapped from overindulgence. Solitare, infomercials, downloading obscure hip-hop ("Come Take A Ride" from World Renown? Anyone?), nothing worked. It was finally when I thought about the prospect of another full day of meetings did I start to get sleepy. I cannot fucking wait for the opportunity to control my calendar without interference from the boss.
Human (The Shep Pettibone Remix)
Last Thursday, I was out with some friends, drankin' and shit. This friend of a friend who I'd just met started asking me about what I do. It turns out she knew my boss. So she asked me if he was fucking his assistant. I laughed. You would too if you knew the kind of corny milquetoast assed dude he is. But of course I don't really put shit past anybody, so I stopped laughing and told her I didn't think so. She told me about being at a meeting with the two of them and he was openly glaring into her low cut blouse. I really blew that shit off. I'd never seen him publicly acknowledge a sexual impulse. Not an offhanded remark, nothing, in nearly 3 years. I shrugged it off and didn't mention that conversation to a single soul.
So today I came in my office from a meeting with my boss and Auntie Anita was in there waiting for me to return. I asked her what was up. She said "You wanna know something crazy? I was in a meeting yesterday with Allan and he kept looking down my shirt." I laughed hard. Boy, did I laugh. Three years of nothing and now I've heard two accounts of horndogism in the span of less than a week. I don't begrudge him that. He's 42 years old and has been married to his high school sweetheart since 1990. Let him look. He just has to be a little slicker about it. At least now I know this cat is human.
Flat Randy
Randall will be headed to Cleveland today. You can look for his exploits on Monie's page at http://monieinthemiddle.blogspot.com/
Take some good photos, Monie. And don't let him eat dairy. He's lactose intolerant.
Peace,
KZ
I was in a meeting yesterday and we had a "community activist" in the office. In this town (or in most towns, actually) that means a jobless or underemployed kook that has nothing better to do than bemoan the lack of Neighborhood Watch signs on his or her block. This lady represents her neighborhood in a paid position. All I've ever seen her do is smoke and eat. One time I came to her office to meet with her and she was sleeping HARD with her head on her desk, snoring and slobbering. She's a black lady with a short, perpetually uncombed afro that always seems to have a lint ball in the front of it. She has questionable bathing hygiene and a lack of coordination that couldn't be achieved by Stevie Wonder or the Governor of New York. Yesterday, her stankin' ass had on some manner of headwrap that would have to be seen to be believed. No, I didn't listen to the broad, I was too busy holding my breath. I have no idea what she talked about.
The Short Sleep
Is it possible for a man to die from boredom? Last night I could not fall asleep. I was awake until 4:00 am with the alarm clock set for 6:30 am. Reading boring shit didn't work. Masturbation? No thanks. My dick is currently chapped from overindulgence. Solitare, infomercials, downloading obscure hip-hop ("Come Take A Ride" from World Renown? Anyone?), nothing worked. It was finally when I thought about the prospect of another full day of meetings did I start to get sleepy. I cannot fucking wait for the opportunity to control my calendar without interference from the boss.
Human (The Shep Pettibone Remix)
Last Thursday, I was out with some friends, drankin' and shit. This friend of a friend who I'd just met started asking me about what I do. It turns out she knew my boss. So she asked me if he was fucking his assistant. I laughed. You would too if you knew the kind of corny milquetoast assed dude he is. But of course I don't really put shit past anybody, so I stopped laughing and told her I didn't think so. She told me about being at a meeting with the two of them and he was openly glaring into her low cut blouse. I really blew that shit off. I'd never seen him publicly acknowledge a sexual impulse. Not an offhanded remark, nothing, in nearly 3 years. I shrugged it off and didn't mention that conversation to a single soul.
So today I came in my office from a meeting with my boss and Auntie Anita was in there waiting for me to return. I asked her what was up. She said "You wanna know something crazy? I was in a meeting yesterday with Allan and he kept looking down my shirt." I laughed hard. Boy, did I laugh. Three years of nothing and now I've heard two accounts of horndogism in the span of less than a week. I don't begrudge him that. He's 42 years old and has been married to his high school sweetheart since 1990. Let him look. He just has to be a little slicker about it. At least now I know this cat is human.
Flat Randy
Randall will be headed to Cleveland today. You can look for his exploits on Monie's page at http://monieinthemiddle.blogspot.com/
Take some good photos, Monie. And don't let him eat dairy. He's lactose intolerant.
Peace,
KZ
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