Sometimes I wonder if reading my blog is a lot like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think most of y'all know that there's always something illicit just under the surface of these innocuous little tales of life in the small city.
Like last Thursday, when I got this invitation from this woman I've been diggin' for a while to check her out. She was only going to be in Beelzebub's Colon overnight and she wanted me to come see her. No haps. I had an evening meeting that didn't let out until 11:00 pm so I missed out. Yesterday I got a phone call from an ex-collegue. She told me she'd be in Lansing for a business meeting overnight and she wanted me to come visit. No haps. I had another evening meeting that lasted until 11:30 pm. So my chances of gettin' mines go out the door. I don't like writing about this shit. It's depressing.
So goes the story of Auntie Anita. Remember Endo, my little 24 year old virgin chick? Well, part of the story I neglected to tell everybody except her is that Endo's aunt works for me. I knew I'd hear cries of "don't mess with that young girl especially with her aunt right there" and all that type of shit. So I didn't blog it. Sue me.
Endo's Auntie Anita is 40 years old. She's dark skinned and petite, the complete physical opposite of Endo. She's the type of woman a lot of cats without keen eyes might overlook. She's OK looking, but not FINE. Dudes would see the way she dresses and think she's skinny. The thing is she's got a tremendous body. That ass is off the chain. You'd never know it by her conservative dress. Little ass waist, hips kickin'. I noticed that shit when I first started working here. I once designated a casual day during the holidays just so I could see her in jeans. It was worth it!
Anyway, the first time I saw Endo, she was visiting Auntie Anita. I asked Anita who she was and I got the third degree before she told me. "My niece is too young for you." "What's young?" "Twenty-three (at the time)". "I'm only thirty-four (at the time)". "Give it a rest, gramps." I would have gladly taken Auntie Anita over Endo, but Anita worked for me and was thusly off limits.
The thing that kills me is that I don't even see Endo anymore. I haven't seen or talked to her in around 3 weeks. And daily I get to see pulchritudious excellence in the form of Auntie Anita. She used to strike me as so serious and untouchable. Daily I see more of her personality and playfulness on display. It's attractive as hell. I think that's especially so since she's off limits.
Like last Thursday, when I got this invitation from this woman I've been diggin' for a while to check her out. She was only going to be in Beelzebub's Colon overnight and she wanted me to come see her. No haps. I had an evening meeting that didn't let out until 11:00 pm so I missed out. Yesterday I got a phone call from an ex-collegue. She told me she'd be in Lansing for a business meeting overnight and she wanted me to come visit. No haps. I had another evening meeting that lasted until 11:30 pm. So my chances of gettin' mines go out the door. I don't like writing about this shit. It's depressing.
So goes the story of Auntie Anita. Remember Endo, my little 24 year old virgin chick? Well, part of the story I neglected to tell everybody except her is that Endo's aunt works for me. I knew I'd hear cries of "don't mess with that young girl especially with her aunt right there" and all that type of shit. So I didn't blog it. Sue me.
Endo's Auntie Anita is 40 years old. She's dark skinned and petite, the complete physical opposite of Endo. She's the type of woman a lot of cats without keen eyes might overlook. She's OK looking, but not FINE. Dudes would see the way she dresses and think she's skinny. The thing is she's got a tremendous body. That ass is off the chain. You'd never know it by her conservative dress. Little ass waist, hips kickin'. I noticed that shit when I first started working here. I once designated a casual day during the holidays just so I could see her in jeans. It was worth it!
Anyway, the first time I saw Endo, she was visiting Auntie Anita. I asked Anita who she was and I got the third degree before she told me. "My niece is too young for you." "What's young?" "Twenty-three (at the time)". "I'm only thirty-four (at the time)". "Give it a rest, gramps." I would have gladly taken Auntie Anita over Endo, but Anita worked for me and was thusly off limits.
The thing that kills me is that I don't even see Endo anymore. I haven't seen or talked to her in around 3 weeks. And daily I get to see pulchritudious excellence in the form of Auntie Anita. She used to strike me as so serious and untouchable. Daily I see more of her personality and playfulness on display. It's attractive as hell. I think that's especially so since she's off limits.
Stay Greasy,
KZ
P.S. Happy 6/6/06 from Satan's Anus!
36 comments:
You're twisted.
I know you think I have nothing else to do today but cruise your blog ... but I'm working ... really, damnit!
@Chele
Yes, I'm twisted. And yes I think you have nothing else to do but cruise my blog.
Isn't it good being right?
*mwah*
KZ
An Auntie or a Virgin huh? Well it seems to me as though in a town that small with an Auntie working for you that if you bed the virgin you might find yourself in the midst of a shot gun wedding...
you're better off getting Auntie tipsy at a party and offering her a ride home...to your place!
@Miss Ahmad
Now that works. I like the way you think!
@CG
What happened to that back shot I asked for? You holdin' out on more of your pics!
KZ
Zed you keepin secrets? Its funny cuz this was gonna be my next post "Statute of Limitations". When is it ok to sex/date someone close to someone you've already sexed/dated? I lie to you not! I was fitna type it today! We on the same wavelength? Hmmm nah, probably not but my 2 cents is this..
It seems like you gravitate towards drama. LOL! I mean let's be honest, k? Ok so you gutted Endo and now you want to gut the Auntie. I think your biggest prob will be discerning whetha or not Auntie will trip and start comparing herself *sexually* to Endo. Women have a tendency to get small brained and self conscious when they KNOW who your other conquests have been. I may be totally off kilter on this one but hey, its just my 2 cents! Nothing more nothing less my friend! Happy Guttin!
@Ironmunki
Yep, Auntie works for me. I really refrain from "shitting where I eat", but the circumstances are dire. I can't meet any women here. I'm used to a little collection.
I'm not gonna do it. Trust me.
@Durtymo
I didn't have sex with Endo. A few oral adventures and mutual masterbation. That's it. Endo's still a virgin.
Auntie is funny. I can't touch her, but I know she wouldn't mind.
KZ
Oh snap! How did I get that misconscrued *sp* lol@ mutual mastubation. I gotta use that! Thanks!
It irritates me that you refer to her as a virgin. Isn't she just a chick that hasn't been penetrated yet? Guzzling nut certainly can't fall under virginly, can it?
(I'm kiddin..too each it's own)!
@Durtymo
She refers to herself as a virgin. Shit, as far as I'm concerned, you're a virgin until I hit it.
I dated a girl for a year who never let me hit. She gave me the best head I'd ever had (until this year that is). She was able to get married as "a virgin" because her husband was the first to penetrate. If they like it, I love it.
KZ
lol@the Beezlebub switch up for the trip-6.
Fire the Auntie, then date her.
"I dated a girl for a year who never let me hit. She gave me the best head I'd ever had "
ummm...nevermind
Quote of the day: Guzzling nut...
As I said then...I say now...
Fuck any and every body that will let you. You have a 2 year plan and then your out of the Anus. Your 11 months closer to your SA expiration date....FUCK IT!
*sidenote: purchase fire arms and keep by side of bed in case of: baby daddies, auntie/uncles, or crazy ass broads.*
you always want what you can't or shouldn't have zed?
just fuck the whole family, why don't cha?? LOL
I saw touch Auntie Anita...off limits?? Ok, maybe when one of you are no longer employed there....
How would Endo feel about her Aunt bussin you down?..*lol*
@L and TV
Naw, Beezlebub's Colon is another city near here. It's about 3 times the size of Satan's Anus.
@Blah
That IS the quote of the day. Good work, DurtyMo.
I think at the 6 month mark, I'm fuckin' 'em all. Back to back.
@Aquababie
Yes.
@Nikki
I haven't seen her mom yet but my fingers are crossed!
@Nsane
Endo would probably be sad if I fucked Auntie Anita.
I would be happy,though. You see the bind I'm in?
KZ
dammit all to hell blogger comments suck.
I always say don't get your meat where you get your bread. It's just trouble in general espeically if one person has supervisory authority over the other.
Are you looking at Auntie because you're bored and/or because she's off limits and strife and conflict can be sexy as hell? whatever you do don't pull her into the stairwell of your building. Not a good look if you're caught. :-)
@Honest
Well the fact that I'm in Satan's Anus, on the first floor of a one story building, there will be no stairwell naughtiness.
The biggest fly in the ointment is the potential to be called out for harrassment. The second is to have a broad you work with as your concubine. I've been there. (Remember that shit, Robyn?)
KZ
*yawn* followed by me *rolling my dayum eyes*
@RD
Baby, I didn't know you were home. I was just talkin' shit with my friends. It don't mean nothin'!
KZ
ok I was gonna comment till I saw what Liquor wrote, LOL. You a fool!
damn blogger ate my comment!
There's no such thing as a dick sucking virgin, that's an oxymoron!
If Clinton could damn near get impeached behind a blowjob, and Nuns can't do it...well neither can virgins!
in a word: YUP! I remember that! LOL
Not the satanic greeting mon frere!!!! LOL
@Stilts
Liquor is on to something. What's a fireable offense? Not giving the boss any booty?
@Miss Ahmad
From Compton, California to Portland, Maine, dicksucking virgins do exist. Just like the Blair Witch.
Who said nuns can't do it? If they...
*Zed, keep cool. Don't finish what you were about to say. That's not right.*
Nevermind.
@Robyn
That shit was the bane of my existence. "Why did I fuck her?" Everyday at work, seeing her. "How come you didn't call me?" "Who was that?" Murder.
KZ
old man + young chick = corny old man
Get a passport, KZ. Or import some azz. lol
@SoWise
I don't like your math!
KZ
Lmaof @ So Wise sorry Zed that shit was funny.
I say you peel that banana and have her sign a disclaimer..lol
@Slish
Yeah, she got me. But I don't wanna accept it.
Damn, I gotta be corny 'cuz I wanna run up in this chick's gills?!?
I definitely would like a woman closer to my own age in this piece. I left a boneyard in my wake (E.T., Batshit, Carmel) trying to do "the right thing".
Now, imma get mines, by hook or by crook.
The problem with imports: they gotta stay the whole weekend, like it or not. I'm an alumnus of the "Buss and Jet" University. Are you familiar with it?
KZ
well if you don't wanna import none, than just go on with your fantasies about Aunties over Pot Lucks, running around town like the headless horseman and call it a good time!
Happy 6/6/6 to you to!
LMAO @ Nikki and Liquor and TV
Sayin' Buss and Jet Reunions should always happen at the local Hampton Inn...just in case. They have comfy King-sized beds, large screen TVs, free (included) breakfast and COUCHES, LOL
Like it? You stay there and have a quick weekend getaway.
Dont like it? You go home and your 'classmate' will still get a hot breakfast before she leaves town.
...so Ill pencil you in for Fourth of July weekend?
;-P
Damn Zed-
You had the hot spot today!!!
I'm such a night owl... not to mention 3 hours behind
I always surf at night.
I mean isn't that the best time to wish i was Auntie,
or any family member besides yours?!!
on a side note-
I think the show in the D might be canceled...
I hope not because meeting you is going to be my pleasure!
*not pleasure like THAT- nasty!
...I mean- unless you gone do it...
if it's true that you have less than a year left in the Anus of Satan, I say you could probably bone the Auntie too. BUT, you have to see what kind of woman she is.. Can she be discreet? Is the bitch hip to the game? If not, don't go asking for trouble.. But, if I were you, I'd try to devirginize the niece and bone the aunt and peace out of Satan's A with a smile on my face. lol
We still talking about this friggin Auntie broad...Sheeeeesh!! Will you just do it to her already so we can move on *hmpf*
you're still mad i see.
personally, i'd say don't hit it, if only because of that harassment suit that could bitch-slap you if you ever rubbed auntie the wrong way. but you're going to do what you want anyway...
importing is always an option.
this was hilarious, as always.
so at 34 you are gramps...well i guess you better call your doctor now and start ordering the blue pill
So what will happen is:
- You'll hook up again with Endo
- Have sex with her
- Accidentally call her Auntie Anita
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