Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Freak MeMe

Nsane Lee Sane, that paragon of hotness and pulchritude, has tagged me. Now if I could only return the favor...

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2006?
Sad to say, but I've barely gotten mine this year. It's more than half over.

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?
Yes. I got arrested for it, too.

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Yep. It's due to the funny ass shit women say when you're puttin' in work.

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY?
Only if I don't cum.

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX?
I can't stand the friggin' heat. Don't touch me.

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE?
All the time. As soon as I buss.

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM?
Nope. Is that possible on the male side of things?

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP?
I'm always talking shit. I need to feel "in the moment". I used to want my ex-wife to shut the fuck up. She had the worst sex talk in the world.

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX?
Yeah. I had to make sure I wasn't a stat, so doctor's visits stay consistent.

10. EVER MASTERBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
No, I'd probably just meet someone who looked like her and live out my little fantasy that way.

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND?
Yeah. Was it cool? Nope. One day when I'm in a nostalgic mood, I'll blog about it. In retrospect, funniest shit in the world.

12. HOW BOUT A 3-SOME?
I chickened out TWICE on a threesome when I was in my twenties. I didn't have confidence that I could handle both the women at the same time. I was a stupid, practical youngster.

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX?
Yeah. It used to be mandatory.

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX?
Only when I was fuckin' Thelma.

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE?
It was the cause of my last pregnancy scare.

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?
Aside from getting arrested? In college I was fuckin' my girlfriend. It was intense. A middle of the afternoon scorcher. I guess she was loud. I didn't remember her being that loud. When we finished, I came out of the dorm room to get us some water. A bunch of dudes were in the hallway and they just looked at me and started applauding. There were a gang of 'em cheering me on. That was pretty embarrassing for a private dude.

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
I was 16. My first week in college. With a 19 year old girl from Arlington, Texas. After my first college party. A lot of "firsts" at the same time.

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW?
The funny thing is, as high as my sex drive is, the answer is nobody. Everytime I think about having sex with a chick, all I think about are the hoops I have to jump through.

19. DO YOU THINK THAT number 18 IS POSSIBLE?
Yes, it's possible for me not to get laid.

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW?
Nope. I got meetings.

21. WOULD U HAVE SEX WITH THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS?
How do you know I haven't?

22 comments:

Disco said...

Damn. I never heard that story about coming out in the hallway and folks were cheering! LOL Cute.

Knockout Zed said...

@CG
The friends I grew up with laugh because I was scary sexually. I was known for literally running if a chick offered me sex. I would lie about someplace I had to be and run home.

@Robyn
After I really thought about it, I've had more sexually embarrassing moments. Me getting caught by my parents on more than one occassion. The "Sade" incident, except nobody witnessed the "Sade" incident. I got a bunch of 'em.

KZ

Little Brown Girl said...

Zeddie this was hilarious. College was when I got "broken in" too!!! LOL!!

I wouldn't touch this tag with a 10 foot pole. Matter fact let me get the eff up outta here *smile*

The Stiltwalker said...

very interesting. You need more sex.

Nika Laqui said...

ZED!!!!
I'm gone GET YOU!!!
#21....*ROFL*

OMG!!!!

Prophetess said...

Was that a message for me at the end of your page down there where it talks about hypnosis?

I see sis Nsane has got you too, with the Tag...

Blah Blah Blah said...

I liked this one.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

okay does this mean you have or you haven't gotten laid this year?

lyre said...

Hey Zed,
Who says a threesome has to be 2 females and a male. Have you ever done 2 males and a broad? If not, would you?

Nika Laqui said...

Right GodBabyMama, why are people looking only at one sided 3somes?

Being the frat dude he is, I would say its safe to say he has had a 3some, just not the one that most men desire (2women)...

Knockout Zed said...

@RD
I forgot to tag people!!!!

You definitely woulda got it!

@Stilts
I told y'all.

@Nsane
Shhhhh! We'll keep it quiet.

@Insanity
Heck naw! I had that hypnosis thing up there for a few weeks. I just didn't like the big assed nostrils up there.

I gotta see what you wrote.

@Blah
I bet you did, nasty.

@Miss Ahmad
I have gotten laid this year. It's just not at the level I'm used to. It's very low.

@GBM
It's interesting that you would say that. I have been in a threesome like that. My boy had this jump off. She met me and asked if he could help fulfill this fantasy she had. It was awkward (you just don't ever wanna touch a dude when you're naked) and I couldn't look at that cat for a week 'cuz it was weird. But, yeah, I did it.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@Nsane
OK, ya got me. I copped to it. It wasn't the "good" kind, but I did it.

KZ

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Is there something that you and Nsane want to tell us??? (Regarding your answer to the last question)

Nika Laqui said...

ZED, QUIT PLAYIN, fo you make my "blog boyfriend" mad....*lol*

DYNASTY!! now you know, I woulda posted all about it!!!!!You know Zed is a fool, thats what I get for taggin him...*lol*

i like liquor and tv said...

rofl@the ex Wife's wack dirty talk. I gotta hear some of this.

Was it like "Hey big boy, when are you going to put that thing inside of me?"

Phoenix said...

good post, but they always are

Rashan Jamal said...

I got tagged too. As for # 7, its possible, but you gotta pull out real quick and throw the condom away before she sees it. Sometimes enough is enough and you just need to go to sleep. LOL

Mr.Slish said...

Zed I was cratching my head when did mine...Never again..

Cry when you don't get a nut..Lmaof.. All men Should...

sj-the-infamous said...

I like this! But, 21 questions appeals to me in general. I've been accused of being nosey before. I'll take a stab at this, it's pretty tame....

Chubby Chocolate said...

I can't see you backing out of a threesome...Just don't see it!

Knockout Zed said...

@Slish
You did well on yours, bruh.

@SJ
I can't wait to see yours!!! Bad girl!

@CC
The first time I was a sophomore in college. I had sex with both girls separately and we were all staying during Thanksgiving break. I was in their room and they asked me to stay over. I did and they woke me up in the middle of the night and propositioned me. I laughed it off. I was scared as hell, so I laughed. "Naw, naw. That's ok." Idiot! One of them left for work in the morning and I had sex with the other one.

The second time was at my boy's graduation party (yeah, weird). I didn't think I had the skills, so I declined. Couldn't ruin my rep.

KZ

ChezNiki said...

@Okay so I am late. I just answered this meme on 6/29...but Wow! So I have a few questions...

1.So you went to college at 16?
2. Who's Thelma?
3. You turned down the threesome before...would you now?