Monday, June 19, 2006

Conversing All-Stars

On the phone a few minutes ago
KZ: You weren't serious about coming, right? I mean we never said anything like that.
LoLo: I guess you weren't serious. It's probably a good thing I didn't come. We don't want to have any regrets.
KZ: Right, right. Exactly.
LoLo: If you didn't want me to come, you should've just said so.
KZ: Wouldn't that apply if I did actually want you to come too?
And that was that.

So I'm back in the swing of things. In my office, preparing for a presentation in front of City Commission. I hate fuckin' public speaking and it is one of the biggest parts of my job (aside from budget issues). I'm always afraid I'm underprepared and tentative when I have to present. I'm no fun for anyone.

My boy Rainier called telling me that he saw SugarChicken (don't ask! This is the chick I brought to your surprise b-day party Robyn) in a drop-top Beamer with one of our frat brothers. Keep makin' my day, dude.

The call before LoLo
R: Dude, guess who I saw?
KZ: Don't care.
R: Dude, lemme tell you.
KZ: I don't care.
R: I saw Brother Caldwell, 60 year old Brother Caldwell cakin' up with SugarChicken, African. Your SugarChicken.
KZ: Thanks. I appreciate you telling me. I gotta go.

I'm anxious and nervous. I need to get broke off pronto. I'm stuck in a quandry. Do I buss off in any ol' chick or do I stay the course and avoid all unneccesary drama? It's hard for a brother like me to maintain in this state. I mean, what if I do break down and try to actively pursue some broad and get stuck with a N.I.M.P.H.*? I'm not in cuddle mode. I'm in Splackaville.

Last week
Three: Where's your hoes?
KZ: Gone.
3: What you mean "gone"?
KZ: Dey gone.
3: (laughing) Shit, it be that way sometimes. Sometimes dey just be gone.

Sometimes dey just do.

KZ

*Not In My Pussy Hole

32 comments:

Nika Laqui said...

*lol* That was too funny!!!

NIMPH...*LOL*

Angel said...

"N.I.M.P.H."

LOL
i swear, it still amazes me to this day when grown ass women are dick-teases!!!! either do it or don't. stop playing with the damn coochie!!!!
~fallen angel

Blah Blah Blah said...

Quote of the post:
It be that way sometimes. Sometimes dey just be gone.
LMAO

Oooooh chil', things are gonna get easier...ooooh chil', things will get brighter.
*this sang in my infamous tone deaf voice you have come to love and cherish*

Honest said...

LMAO! As usual you and your life just keep on giving.

Please, please tell us the story behind SugarChicken.

Knockout Zed said...

@Nsane
That's a real phenomenon!

@Angel
I've had chicks pull that "Let's just lay here" shit. I've had them pull that "We'll do it next time" shit. We butt assed nekkid. Why wait? That's the type of shit that makes a cat crazy.

@Blah
Babe, that tone deaf assed singin' is music to my ears most of the time.

@Honest
The SugarChicken story is gonna bore you. Ready? You sure? OK, here goes: I used to work with SugarChicken. The first time we went out was a lunch date. I took her to a Greek restaurant in Downtown Detroit (Greektown). She got a chicken gyro. SugarChicken opened the gyro, opened some packets of sugar and started sprinkling the grilled chicken with SUGAR. I asked her why she was doing that and she said "that's how I was brought up eating chicken". That's all. Disgusting.

@Mack
If I call her, I'll have to talk to her. I think the memory of that boss head has been erased by her bad behaviior.

KZ

Mr.Slish said...

Dey gone huh..Or is the desire to bone without the cuddling that has curtailed your pussy snatching activities...lol

You say you don't want to cuddle but you do. Men over 35 need constistency. I can't bone just to bone anymore.

I need that smile she makes when I make her laugh, I need those soft kisses she places on my back while i'm asleep, I need her leg draped across mine while we're in bed Most of all I need to feel her lips right before I walk out of her apt door. Men over 35 need that Bruh. You're no exception..

Holla at yo Blogger Boy

Knockout Zed said...

@Slish
Slish you may have found the ONE. I didn't feel that way about the chick I married.

I need them to fuck me and shush!

I'll cuddle if they cerra la boca.

KZ

Mr.Slish said...

I hear you Bruh, but I don't believe you. I sense something is a coming to change your whole outlook..

ChezNiki said...

@Slish-Just cause you all in love ovah there, dont mean the rest of us have to have alla that! Some of us just need a little occasional trouble-free knookie to clear our heads so we dont do anything stupid.

@Knockout-Have a discussion with yourself...and your next victim. Explain the rules of engagement so there are no surprises...Women over 35 get horny too. Like that old commercial said, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you dont!

Word to the wise, though: Cuddling encourages talking. So if you dont want to talk, bounce.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

cera la boca huh?

by karma alone I think Slish is right, something is gonna rock your world sooner than later if for no other reason it might be time for the shoe to be on the other foot!

Sangindiva said...

This was a great post for me to come home to!!
Zeddy you are funny as shit!!
Dey jus be gone... CLASSIC!
The way Mr. Slish is talkin'... I'mma have to visit his
page for inspiration!!!

Will you still be in the Anus in August?
That's when they changed the date...
I'll get at you.

Knockout Zed said...

@Slish
If it's tall, slim and from the DC area, I believe you!

@Chez, Chez, Chez
I have that discussion every single time I hook up with a woman. Every single time it changes after "the act".

Maybe I'm not making it plain enough. "Let's just bone, skeezer!"

@Miss Ahmad
Zedediah Z., world unrockable. I wish I would be all sprung like a chump. I just need a situation where mutual "relief" is given.

@SanginDiva
Except for the weekend of August 19th (Slish's function) I'll be here.

KZ

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Just stay the course, Man! Good things come to those that wait. Besides, you might be left unfullfilled if you bust in any ole chick, as you put it. Then it would be a waste of time. If you are anything like me...time is of the essence!

The Stiltwalker said...

what exactly does NIMPH mean? Like no don't ejaculate in me because I'll get pregnant or no because I'm waiting for marriage or no because you might give me a disease?

Nika Laqui said...

Ewww SugarChicken...*lol*

"Cierra la boca"...*lol*

chele said...

Let 'em be gone then. They were all chicken heads anyway. Who needs the drama? Either get someone new or keep on pleasuring yourself.

"Let's just lay here?" WTF? How old are these chicks?

Knockout Zed said...

@Dynasty
That's the conundrum. Unfilled if I bone anything, unfilled if I don't.

@Stilts
No, a N.I.M.P.H. will play with your dick, give you a hand job, even a blow job. But won't let you stick it in. That's a real phenomenon that I thought I was done with when high school ended.

@Nsane
The thing is, SugarChicken really thought that shit was normal and she got exasperated when she was asked about it.

@Chele
Maybe I bring that shit out of 'em. That "let's just lay here" thing.

I'm so sick of my right hand, if I was right handed, I'd learn to write with my left. Luckily I'm left handed.

KZ

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

I think the NIMPH phenomenon has to do with women not wanting to increase the number of men they've slept with. Don't they call those number queens?

not that i've been privy to that on a personal level, however i know some things about some things

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad
They can always lie like they used to when I was younger. "I've only slept with three men in my whole life."

And I've only fallen off that one turnip truck.

Don't be sellin' yourself short. You know a lot about a lot of things. Maybe not so much about this thing ;)

KZ

Disco said...

Not the SugarChicken!! I was wondering what happened to her ass!!!! She was nice :-)

Awww...that birthday party was THEE BEST one ever! LOL (yeah, I know what'cha thinking.... I know.....)

Movin on....

Come to the "D"....I am SURE yo ass can find some back-bitin boodies to your taste :-)

Honest said...

Yuck sugar on chicken that's some nasty ass shyt. Then again I considered mashed up Avocado on a toasted english muffin with a slight pat of butter a great snack so who am I to judge.

So...Wise...Sista said...

Wanna bone and shut up? Get a hooker. Even the worst brawd deserves a convo.

You need a new tactic, bruh. Too sex-dependant, and you KNOW that's not what will REALLY relieve your stress. I'm on to you KZ...and it aint pretty. ;)

Knockout Zed said...

@Robyn
That party was some really cool shit. I'm sure you remember it fondly.

I know I can get over back home, I just trying not to be so dependent on Detroit. I need to establish my niche here, especially as gas prices stay high.

@Honest
You win! I think your code name would be CadoMuffin.

@SoWise
Exactly! I think I'll get a hooker. Even they like to talk (don't ask!).

I'm curious, what will REALLY relieve my stress? That "REALLY" is really ominous, because you're definitely not insinuating sex.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@BDK
I'm doin' my best. Resources (i.e. women) are lackin' in this little place.

KZ

So...Wise...Sista said...

I cant call it KZ...only you know what you REALLY want. lol But we all know that for whatever reason, you're not up to admitting/considering/pursuing it. I might even go as far as saying that you got no clue what you want (which is perfectly normal)...but I do know that you think it's cute to just be out there like that with these brawds...cuz it makes the story funnier. Who wants to read about a dude who can't find a new job, or a new car? We love the 'I can't find a skank' tales!

Disco said...

Yeah...you're right.....it's WAAAAAAAAAY over the top. Most dudes ain't even like that!

Knockout Zed said...

@SoWise
I don't know. I've read a lot of even-keeled mature cats with entertaining stuff to write. I don't think it's cute to out there, but I'm out there. I've been married, didn't like it. I call this Chapter 2 or My Second Chance or whatever.

There are bloggers who create playa personas and are doing pretty well with it. I'm just telling a real story from my perspective. I want to bone a lot and I'm not able to, period.

I don't know what I want. I know what I DON'T want. That's enough for right now.

@Robyn
See? Something's not right.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@SoWise
I just re-read what you wrote and I think my response was misguided. I took what you wrote in the wrong way, meaning I was taking it as a good natured admonishment.

The implication is I'm a guy that can't get a new car or a new job. That assumption is wrong. Internet beef is wack so I won't get all indignant. I'll just say I think you're mistaken about my options.

KZ

Little Brown Girl said...

I hate being last and late and wrong but I had a busy azz day today...forgive me?

As for your situation...I know you think I am being sarcastic but really I am not...Zeddie you should just call up one of those stupid azz broads and get you some...call Carmel...she's dumb enough...go ahead and call her so you can get broken off...want me to call her for you? LMAO...Ok I am being sarcastic...FUK THEM HOES!!! *smile* It will get better Zeddie Bear...I promise!!

Little Brown Girl said...

I'm just getting caught up...

If it's tall, slim and from the DC area, I believe you!

*sigh* Zeddie you betta stop *blushing*

So...Wise...Sista said...

Actually I dont think I meant either. But that's ok! No beef, turkey. lol

I do think I get it (even if I suck at making sense) ...you wanna get laid... limited resources. I feel you. But you're also stressed...and I have a feeling that gettin some is really just a tiny bit of what will fix what ails you.

How was that?

Knockout Zed said...

@Zia
Where you been? I missed you.
I'm trying not to be lead around by my dick so much. What you see on this page is frustration. Pure frustration. It's actually growing pains, which are extremely painful at 35.

@SoWise
OK, I apologize. Neither of my takes were right. But I get where you're coming from now. Mea culpa, mama.

KZ