Longing, Regret And Justification

The Second Verse of "Fall In Love" by Slum Village

(T-3)
Yeah, Jay Dee man I see sometimes,
I sit and wonder when I think about these written rhymes.
How’d I get to the point constantly taking all my time?
Time I could of been spending gettin’ cash, gettin’ mine.
Hoping one day it comes around.
One day when I’m the nigga gettin’ money, gettin’ cash, gettin’ signed
Getting the fuck out the ghetto, cause I’m tired of crime.
But it’s a crime that I feel this fucking waste of time.
But sometimes I feel like this shit here is a waste of time, yours and mine.
To these niggas out here trying to rhyme.
Your reason for better shoulda been genuine.
I do it because it gives me a sort of peace-of-mind.
And for the love.

When I went back to Detroit on Saturday for a few hours, I had an epiphany. I looked around and saw things that I helped set in motion being accomplished. It was my career-long struggle to make things happen, get things built was moving forward. All it took was for me to get the fuck out of the way. Even though I didn't direct the movie, it's my script. I wish I could've been in charge.

I went home to get some loc maintenance which is an ego boost in itself. I always get a lot of attention from the women who are waiting for their turns. When you get noticed by women with a lot of choices, who don't know your socio-economic standing, it's legitimate.

I was home from 11:00 am until 9:00 pm. I made two dates and sold them both out to hang with my boy, Three. I received a long lecture on how my "benefit of the doubt" had been revoked, but it was fine with me. I rarely get to hang out with a non-agenda having person who looks out for my best interests.

I got to look at large congregations of Black women and have of choice of type or disposition. This was done in a comfortable, familiar setting with a wing-man. I didn't even pull and I had a ball.

After I dropped Three off and before I headed back to Satan's Anus, I decided to stop by the new Ikea store in Metro Detroit. I finally found a bookcase (yes finally, Blah Blah Blah!) for a reasonable price. That fuckin' store and it's setup is a mess. I remember talking to those Swedish bastards about putting that store in Detroit proper and they wouldn't budge, just like Whole Foods before them. They wanted to hold the city hostage and make it economically disasterous to build a store there. I'm makin' a fuckin' list and I'm checkin' it twice, bitches.

I keep learning the same fuckin' lessons over and over again. Money won't make me happy. I gotta do what I do for the love.

KZ