Babee Munkees and Clams

Hey y'all. It's a beautiful day in the Anus. (Never thought I'd ever read or write that sentence in life!) . The boss is out so I'm in charge in this week and next. I made today a casual day, so folks are pretty geeked. I still had to wear a friggin' suit because of some meetings I have. My boss is a stickler about dress. I gives a fuck. I also plan to shut this bitch down early so I can make my way to Detroit. I got a lot of unfinished business there, with several women.

First off is Torina. This is a woman I've never been with. Aching to see a nigga. It's all status-related. I sucked when I was there, but now as I make a little loot and have a little title, so to her now it's cool. Back in the day, the term for her was Sack-Chaser. Now I guess it's Gold-Digger. Short assed haircut, tall, big booty, dark skin. She'll be fucking for free tonight. I'm on some Biggie/R. Kelly shit. Torina, I'm fuckin' you tonight.

Next off is Pinky. Pinky is my ex-girlfriend from friggin' 1995. We broke up because I didn't wanna have kids with her. She's kinda dizzy and shit. That's why I call her Pinky. We've been in touch through the years except the short time I was married. We messed around right before I moved to Satan's Anus, but we didn't screw. She called me a couple of nights ago and said she was about to move into a serious relationship with the guy she's been dating. Then, she asked if we could fuck before that. I was taken aback. She's kinda like Batshit with her religiousity(word?) and shit. "You gotta gimme some!" You bet, Pinky. You bet.

After her, I'll be seeing either Big Fun, Lillie, or Tonya, depending on my mood. Big Fun is the default choice. Tall, dark and beautiful. Lillie, if I feel like listening to strange theories and laughing a lot. Tall, light and beautiful. Or Tonya, the wild ass, drinking and non-stop fucking broad that you can't talk to about anything at all. All she wants is dick, dick, dick. Then she gets melancholy when you don't respect her mind. Women!

The next up is Shelly. Shelly is a stand up comedienne. Funny as fuck and cool. She's not pretty by any stretch, but she is built ridiculously. The consistent thing about unattractive women is their insistence that they be taken "out". Anywhere. I've found that the more attractive the woman, the less insistent she is on being seen "out". She'll want to go out and try to hold my hand. I'll cringe, then I'll look at her body, and I'll smile and oblige.

The last on this tour is Fiona. Fiona was the first chick (there has been one other) to come to my door with a long coat, butt naked underneath. One time we had sex for 7 hours straight, with me cumming a record amount of times. I honestly stopped counting at 9. I used to call her the Magnificient. I called her yesterday to make sure she was still available. She implored me to call her. "Don't come home and forget me. I need to see you. Badly." Fuck! I'll be saving the best for last.

When I come back here on Tuesday, I'll be a shell of myself. A happy assed shell.