Let's see, where should I start. Lemme start off by ending the suspense: I didn't get laid. That was mostly my fault. I was committed to having an actual vacation. No planned activity, no computers, no chasing women, nothing. Just the act of unwinding. My cousins use me as the "Get out of married jail card" whenever I come to town. "Baby, he's here from Detroit. I gotta show him around." So they're pissed that I don't wanna hang. I'm not a "Club" cat anyway. That's not how I get down.
I did do doofus, nerdy shit in Tampa like going to Busch Gardens, the Aquarium, Ybor City and Channelside. And of course, I went to Miami. I was supposed to hook up with my cousin in Miami, but his wife's brother-in-law died, so he had family responsibilities. I was left to my own devices and we see how well that went.
The trip gave me some perspective though.
I did do doofus, nerdy shit in Tampa like going to Busch Gardens, the Aquarium, Ybor City and Channelside. And of course, I went to Miami. I was supposed to hook up with my cousin in Miami, but his wife's brother-in-law died, so he had family responsibilities. I was left to my own devices and we see how well that went.
The trip gave me some perspective though.
Some Observations
Beige Girls: Florida is full of beige women, carbon copies of each other. I got so excited whenever I ran into dark-skinned women. Y'all cats can keep those Latina broads, for real. Some of that shit y'all calling crack ain't crack. Y'all givin' out too much credit. Over-fuckin'-rated.
Pastels: A little much, hunh? Miami, I'm talking to you!
Our older citizens, aka "the greatest generation": Driving is played out! Leave that bullshit to us peons under 70.
My Parents: The two greatest people I know. They kept cats (relatives and anybody else) away from me for 9 full days and looked out in every way imaginable when my wallet was gone.
Crab Shala: Another reason my mother is the greatest. Friggin delicious!
My Job: This shit is a proverbial cakewalk. Except there's no cake. I need to stick to my 2 year plan and stop looking for satisfaction from this thing.
Pastels: A little much, hunh? Miami, I'm talking to you!
Our older citizens, aka "the greatest generation": Driving is played out! Leave that bullshit to us peons under 70.
My Parents: The two greatest people I know. They kept cats (relatives and anybody else) away from me for 9 full days and looked out in every way imaginable when my wallet was gone.
Crab Shala: Another reason my mother is the greatest. Friggin delicious!
My Job: This shit is a proverbial cakewalk. Except there's no cake. I need to stick to my 2 year plan and stop looking for satisfaction from this thing.
The Sandwich Impaired: Just because it's "shorts weather" don't mean errbody can wear shorts.
Carmel: OK, so I fucked her. You knew that was coming right? It happened a few days before I left. Then she called me constantly when I was on vacation. Then her baby daddy called me from her crib. Then I called her and told her to tighten that shit up. Then I realized I shouldn't be fucking her, but of course it was too late by then. Then I realized I write like shit.
Satan's Anus: Damn, it's good to be home.
Be cool,
KZ
30 comments:
Her baby daddy called you...
*just shaking my head* you ain't ne'r gone learnt!
get ready get ready get ready!!!! lol
Man I got tore up in Ybor a few years ago. I was there on business, but coincidentally it was my b-day. I don't even remember how many tequilla shots I did, but I woke up the next morning with a tattoo.
lol@the baby daddy drama. I gotta get filled in with these characters, so I gotta scroll down and read old posts.
(with hands on hips): And just what did babies' daddy want? He got a lot of nerve with that type of bullshit.
And nigs wonder why they get clowned all the time... It's because of shit like that. I just can't be bothered for none of that drama shit, calling people's friends and lovers and starting that bullshit.
You know: are you seeing/fucking my woman/man?
Bitch. Errbody is fucking your woman/man! It aint just me...
Anyway. And Carmel was wrong for even putting your digits out there so babies' daddy COULD call you with that bullshit - and I'm assuming that's what he had to say to you. Just like my gal's daddy's young ass trick he got. I told that girl I would throw some acid or gasoline on her ass if she fucked with me again...
But anyway. Dark skin vs. Light skin? Yep, I'm like you. I prefer mine dark skinned, as well. But hell, at this point, I'd take a man even if he was green and had two horns coming out his forehead, LOL! But nevertheless, cheer up, Zeddy Bear; I'm glad you were able to jump right on that shit before the thief could go all nilly willy with your identity and shit.
Boy, shit like that BURNS ME UP and good, too!
Crab shala? Is that a Tampa thing...my family is from there but I thought they made it up.
The aquarium, ybor, channelside all sucked right? It's supposed to be the "hot" spots, but not really. For some reason I don't like that city or FL at all.
I was wondering when you were gonna fess up to Carmel. 'Her baby daddy'? WTF is that about? You are like a drama magnet.
LOL@ beige girls! I know that's right.
I lovin' the fact that you love me-
I'm a brown skin girl and LUVS it!
@Smokey
I'm kinda hard headed when it comes to punani (that's old school!).
@Liquor and TV
Ybor is full of white tourists on the verge of gettin' vic'ed by young West Tampa project knuckle heads.
@Insanity
That nigga (excuse me, African) bitched up. He called me and didn't say anything. Then she texted me saying "I'm sorry David called you". That cat is bitch-made. How you gon' raise a man and not be a man?
@Nonirose
I swear to goodness I never fuckin' liked crab shala until this visit. It was delicious. Maybe I was just delirious for home cooking. I think it is just a Tampa thing. I've never hear of it from anyone else. Both my parents were born and raised there. We might be cousins.
All that shit sucked and then some, but I gave it a shot. I don't really care for Florida either. Check out my Thanksgiving posts, they'll tell the story about me and FL.
@Chele
I wasn't gon' fess up about Carmel. We did it once. I cracked her for the ass again the day before I left and she told me to wait until I got back so I'd miss her more. What type of muthafucka does she think I am?
@Sangin' Diva
I can't seem to attract a dark skin woman for the life of me since I've been here. It's been yellow chick after yellow chick. I'm working on it, so watch out Brownie!
KZ
Oh no doubt. Tampa sucks. I never have the urge to go back there...ever. I think it's the strip club capital or something too..gross.
Freaking Hilarious dude welcome back!
Baby mama drama..you knew it was coming so I'm not even feeling sorry for you dude.
@Liquor and TV
Strip clubs ain't the half. It's the "Women with gold teeth" capital of the world, too.
@Honest
No sympathy from you? Not even you? You're one of the nicer bloggers too.
@Mack
What's up man? Beige don't do it for me. I think they can be mediocre and get HUGE props whereas an average looking dark skinned sista will get the flux, everytime. I'm always on the side of the underdog. But trust me Mack, I understand people's preferences, just not those cats that think all dark skinned women are garbage. That's how my cousins think.
KZ
I can't even look at you right now (said in my best Mos Def voice)...I knew you and Carmel was going to get Busy. How could you do this to me KZ...I'm hurt got dayumit!!!
You must just be attracted to drama, seriously, because that broad had Bullshyt written all over her. And she probably let Baby Daddy at your number intentionally...chicks like that get off on that kinda shyt. Dizzy Broad!
You gone hit it again WATCH...when will you learn Baby??? When will you learn? *that's rhetorical* LOL!
Ohhhhh! Baby daddy sound like one of those cats standing outside the house at 3 am, hollin' "where my son at?"
He don't want that.... and just wanna make sure you don't get it... hope it worked tho.
Somebody need to learn that girl. Ya don't BRAAAAG about da azz. Keep ya peace and REPRESENT!
BTW, glad to see you had a good time, despite losing your thick brown chick.
What the fuck is "Crab Shala"....????
See....that's why I have to hone my OTHER impressive skills (shut up, not THAT skill.....hee hee.....but like photography) because I can't EVEN EVEEEEEEER imagine my son saying I am "the greatest" with respect to something I cooked!!! I HATE COOKING! Love to eat....but fuckin HATE to cook! Hats off to Moms.
Oh, and.....glad you stayed away from folks while you were in the FLA! :-)
Carmel did it on purpose. You said her ass was boring, why did you still fuck with her????!!??!?!?!?!
@RD
I tried to wait for ya. I really did! I hate drama. I love pussy. Pussy always wins. Always.
@Harpo
I got it. I really don't need it again. I got a virgin to deflower.
@Robyn
In a nutshell Crab Shala is spaghetti with crablegs and sauce instead of meat (or meatballs) and sauce. The dish was always more work than it was worth to me, but I'm telling you it was off the hook. I kept going back for more.
@Ether
Carmel ain't boring. She's dizzy, but far from boring. She gave me the BEST HEAD I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. She deserved the best dick she'll ever get.
KZ
!!!!!!!I KNEEEEWWWWWW ITTT!!!!
(yelling through a bull horn)
You're hilrious! I know you'd do her!
WAS THAT ZED IN THE GREEN SHORTS?! Did you cut your locks off?
Your new name is Big Daddy lime shorts (it's a compliment)
What is Crab Shala?
@CC
Naw, my locs were back in a ponytail. Yeah, it was a pretty masculine look, but the damn wind was blowing!
Crab Shala: basically spaghetti with crab legs instead of meatballs. The sauce is different, too. Kinda spicy.
KZ
my bad I got her confused with Thelma(?).....you have sooooo many.
I am not surprised. Pussy just keeps caaaalling ya...lol Every time you try and get out it just puuuuulls you back in.
Btw I love the beige gals...
it's about time your ass got back.
ybor city was a bore to me, but i hope you enjoyed it.
your parents get the award for 'folk most likely to have their son's back'. ..good looking out, munkee parents!
dude, i swear you land in more troubled pussy than a warden in a woman's insane asylum.
My cousin lives in West Palm and I Luuv Miami it was like the Bronx only with hurricanes, LOL
...and thanks for the shout out to the Chocolate Gurls! We really do taste better
;-]
Welcome Back!
nothing wrong with relaxation during a vacation, especially in sunny FL
*dead*
Big Sexy, I saw you on that Kumba ride screaming like a girl.
i'm new to scene, but I've been reading some of your entries, and you hilarious..and I couldn't agree with your more about your assessment of FL.
CTHU @ Chubby Choc.
Baby Daddy LIME Short?
*I'm dead*
*Smh* first time visitor.....i wanna know why the BD called you and what u said if u even said anything..this is interesting...
ummmm, I love crab shala! I'm a St. Pete gurl & know all about it.
You have been tagged honey!
Hell naw, I knew that bitch was trouble.....
Nerdy goofy, geek ball shit is fun to do, I don't do clubs either...
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