When is silence deafening? There a many instances when a statement is made and there is not follow up or it's ignored wholescale, you know how the listener has responded. There is an implied contract between speaker and listener. If you say something that is ignored, then repeat it and it's still ignored, the listener has decided not to respond. Therein lies your response.
The implied contract tells you that the listener has both heard and understood what was said and has decided to respond would be a fool's game. One in which they've decided to participate. The response would agitate an otherwise pleasant situation. At least for the listener.
The speaker at this point does in fact become agitated. The speaker made a statement, waited for the response and was rebuked. The ignoring of the statement by the listener is a response. No words need be spoken to gather that the response is negative, therefore coloring the rest of the conversation. It may be seemingly pleasant, but make no mistake, the situation is tense and there is an undercurrent of anger for the remainder.
The implied contract tells you that the listener has both heard and understood what was said and has decided to respond would be a fool's game. One in which they've decided to participate. The response would agitate an otherwise pleasant situation. At least for the listener.
The speaker at this point does in fact become agitated. The speaker made a statement, waited for the response and was rebuked. The ignoring of the statement by the listener is a response. No words need be spoken to gather that the response is negative, therefore coloring the rest of the conversation. It may be seemingly pleasant, but make no mistake, the situation is tense and there is an undercurrent of anger for the remainder.
I say all this to say, be careful what you say. Or what you don't.
Peace,
KZ
15 comments:
Wow. That's interesting, and very true. I gotta say, few things make me more upset than being ignored. That is a sure way to cause tension. Period.
Hmmm, now you've got me wondering what the catalyst for this post was...
Who peed on your cornflakes Zeddie?
@Stephanie
The catalyst? Being played like an idiot.
@Sixy
The world, mama. The world.
KZ
Interesting. One thing we have to realize is that the listener may feel as though the speaker isn't prepared for the truthful response. Therefore, in an attempt to spare the speaker's feelings ... they remain silent.
Or, I'm just blowing smoke up your booty.
kinda like when my dad asked me if i was alright and needed any money..and i said "yes please for my upcoming trip to Vegas"
there was a deafening silence on the other end of the phone that really confused me.
thanks for helping to clarify that up for me. my dad doesn't want to be on the paying end of my weekend in sin city!!
damn damn double damn!
@Chele
That's why I fuckin' hate liars. It's the same concept. Omission is a fuckin' lie. What's the female gender equivalent of "man up"?
@AJ
Yeah. Your father possesses wisdom.
KZ
A non-action is in actuality an action
A non-decision is in actuality a decision.
Choosing NOT to do something is a choice!
I'm sooooo sloooooow. I'm still scratching my head after that post...Wait Wait! AH HAAAAA! Nope still nothing....lol
Who knew not saying something would get you in trouble.
what about an unreturned call? is that silence or a lie?
Yeah, silence is a response alright. It means "I'm too much of a lil b*tch to be real about mine. So I'll stay mute and pretend like the sh*t will disappear."
I say be a f*ckin man. Or, be a f*ckin woman. One way or the other - grow the f*ck up.
Most people omit sh*t not because they're afraid of hurting the other's feelings, but because they're afraid to admit to themselves either what they've done or the situation they're in. "If you play dead, you won't get eaten alive."
*sigh*
Can you tell I just relived some stupid sh*t? LOL
I hear ya..loud and clear...maybe the listener is afraid..it could be fear that is stopping the response from coming out! Like when Jason shows up at your door in a hockey mask you can't say NUFFIN..silence YO!!!
u could use that theory or go buy a megaphone.{hugs}
nice analogy Gem-Girl!!!
Never would have thought of it that way...
I've been told not only to "man up" but to "man the fuck up". So I guess there is no female equivalent ... it's the same for all of us.
Nothing gets my man’s briefs in a bunch than some SILENCE!
If I feel like what is being said doesn't warrant a response then I don't waste my breath.
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