Thursday, November 08, 2007

Musings From The Grinch That Stole Pussy

What you have is a case of is cognitive dissonance. You do not threaten or beat the shit out of the person fucking your mate. They don't know you (most of the time), so their intent to cause you harm is negligible. They just wanted to get theirs. Your mate is the liar and cheater. That's where your anger goes, silly. You see how that works?

Opinions are like assholes. They get fucked in jail.

My favorite "dub" pejorative internet expressions (in no particular order) : asshat, hipster, motherfuckery, "I call 'bullshit'", Wentz (meaning an asshole or a jerk, so named after the lead singer of "Fall-Out Boy"), rockist, celebutard, and fuckwad

If I blocked all the "news" channels from my cable, I'd never have to hear another word about a fucking celebrity again.

In ancient times, the men would gather around an open fire and roast the animals that they killed earlier in the day. It was a way for them to bond after the hunt without partaking in any of the extremely necessary work that women did. These "meatings", later modified to "meetings", have continued to this day as a both gender inclusive phenomenon in the workplace.

I just made that shit up on the spot.

Hip hop began in 1978 on the corner of Jane Street and Park Drive on the Eastside of Detroit, Michigan. At least that's how I remember it.

I believe deep in my heart that my cleaners is running a scam. I have no real proof that they have cleaned anything, except for the fucking tags they put on my shit after the fact. I'm in the middle of a beef with my cleaners right now for shrinking the sleeves on a new shirt. Just the fucking sleeves. When an African was ass out back in the day, we'd call him "short sleeve Steve". I never got it before. Now I get it. The dry cleaner just told me there's nothing he can do about it. There's something I can do, though. See ya, asshole.

I joined a new gym and it's just as strange as my old one. In the locker room, dudes are standing around butt-assed nekkid combing their hair and clipping their toenails and shit, like it's the most natural shit in the world. I gives a fuck what you say, that shit is at the precipice of ass-banditry. If you stand in a crowd locker room with no drawers on slowly combing your hair in front of a mirror, you deserve every fuckin' name I call you. There are a group of cats there that work out together and I swear it looks like a continuation of a prison friendship. Weightlifting, bad tattoos and excessive grunting and "congratulating" and shit.

So ends the lesson.

Peace,
KZ

5 comments:

1969 said...

Wow. There's a lot in this post....

Meatings? LOL

Naked folks in the locker room? I guess that's how they wuz raised. Nasty azzez.

Kim said...

I guess the men in your locker room think the locker room is also a "meating" room for men who enjoy bonding and grunting excessively.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

men and women are so very different because i certainly would NOT be bothered with a gym that I COULDN'T walk around Nakey in...

but that's just me!

aquababie said...

that's why i don't go to the gym. i don't wanna see no other bush than mine! LOL

Blah Blah Blah said...

ilove the title of this post.