Last Night

I dearly tried to get into the inauguration swing of things last night. After I left the gym, I came home got showered and I called the "people who know things" here in Satan's Anus. Nobody knew any more than I did. I ended up calling Agent Zero so we could find out where to be. She named some places so we were determined to meet up at the place most likely to be jumping, the Satan's Anus Democratic Party gig. Ten bucks to get in. I got there first, so I paid and stood in the lobby. People were selling over expensive, wack food and Obama logo shirts.

So many dredlocs, absolutely no Black people. Bad hippie music and a of bunch people staring at the old Black dude in the sportscoat and jeans. I told Agent Zero to slow her roll. I needed to reassess where she should meet me. I drove around downtown and saw party after party break up. It was only 9:30 and people were getting the fuck gone. Satan's Anus folks love talking shit about Detroiters, but I can guarantee shit was poppin' in the D all night long.

Finally, just to go somewhere and drink, we ended up at this sports bar. One thousand TVs, zero inauguration coverage. On the bright side, I did get to see Penn State whup up on Michigan's ass. But no, I didn't get to celebrate the inauguration with more than one like minded person.

Peace,
KZ

Poli-Vixen

I was out after work a couple of days ago with my friend Agent Zero (a.k.a. Ja.da P.inkett on Slim Fast) and her girl UHN (Unpronouncable Hood Name). She wanted to talk about politics in general and her possible strategy for running for City Com.mission in specific.

AZ has got this yen to run kinda out of the blue. I know it comes from a heartfelt effort to help Black youth. But I'm a cynic, so I kept her honest. Why the fuck would anybody believe that being a politician is the best way to help ANYBODY? I'm serious. I've always thought politicians were delusional and/or corrupt. I personally I think that it's my job to stop as many new ones as possible from evolving.

So I ask her niche. She tells me there are no Black women of color being represented, she's a single mother and their concerns aren't being met, and minority health care is a major issue. I tell her she's right on both fronts. But the thing is we live in a city that's 82% non-Black. And they truly don't give a fuck if our needs are being met or not. Our com.mission is non-partisan, so without a political party behind you, you gotta find a way to raise money. It's a small town, and your really only need around $20,000 to win a job that pays $5000 a year. So I asked her to pick another topic she's passionate about that might resonate with "other" voters, to tap additional pockets of loot.

She tells me she's Pro-War. I'm shocked, but I tell her to elaborate. AZ says that America shouldn't have to live in fear because of external threats and that she's in favor of those threats being eliminated, by any means necessary. I listen, and I say o.k. I'm not there to judge, I'm there to advise.

I told her she's gotta suppress one set of views or the other. This is politics. Anybody who's in you corner on one set of the issues she supports will almost surely drop her based on her other point of view. I told her she should play up one or the other to get the money. It's a dirty business.

After that, we pretty much drank and talked shit until the spot cleared out. I hope to goodness she takes a pass on running this race.

Stay Focused,
KZ

For The Love Of Nothing

What up, troopers? I'm easing back into the work week after sleeping the weekend away. There is absolutely nothing like not doing a gotdamn thing. It can't be replicated. If you try to replicate it, you're doing something, thusly, nullifying the experiment. Feel me? Anyway, I didn't do shit and it was cool.

On Saturday I went to Unholy Products, Inc. Sam's Club to buy shit in quantities I'll never finish in my entire lifetime. Why I love that place, I'll never know. I keep renewing my damn membership like I have a family of 12. I might as well just buy shit and throw half of it in the trash immediately.

I know people in the northeast (and Chicago) are nice and sick of the Irish (and Irish wannabes) this Monday morning. I certainly am. As much as I love doing nothing, I have a hard time doing nothing, so Saturday night I went out. I went to play pool with Agent Zero, this local chick that works as an advocate in the community. I call her Agent Zero because she's quite possibly the skinniest adult human female I've ever known. Anyway, we were at this pool hall and there was this band all shilleighly'ed out, sportin' shamrocks and green tophats and shit. The lead singer in the band was this chick. She was glammed out, all sequins and tall boots and shit, peroxided up and whatnot. I know she was fuckin' the band leader, because she had a horrible voice. She was really just forcing that shit on us all night. I was sorry I suggested pool. On top of all that the Spartans lost to the fuckin' Tar Heels in the midst of this bitch screeching out "Little Red Corvette". Remind me to never buy a fuckin' Corvette. Another thing: why do women always have unreasonable expectations? How come Agent Zero ordered a apple martini and wasn't satisfied. It's a fuckin' pool hall, dunn! Try again!

Sunday was supposed to be the day I spent cleaning up my apartment. No dice, kid. I went out and bought some rubber gloves, gathered up all my supplies in the master bathroom, and did nothing. The only thing I managed to do is change my bedsheets. I spent most of the day on the phone with TAD, which was a helluva lot more enjoyable than pouring CLR in every toilet in the house and scrubbing sinks.

I could really use a few more leisurely days in my life.

Peace,
KZ