Monday, March 19, 2007

For The Love Of Nothing

What up, troopers? I'm easing back into the work week after sleeping the weekend away. There is absolutely nothing like not doing a gotdamn thing. It can't be replicated. If you try to replicate it, you're doing something, thusly, nullifying the experiment. Feel me? Anyway, I didn't do shit and it was cool.

On Saturday I went to Unholy Products, Inc. Sam's Club to buy shit in quantities I'll never finish in my entire lifetime. Why I love that place, I'll never know. I keep renewing my damn membership like I have a family of 12. I might as well just buy shit and throw half of it in the trash immediately.

I know people in the northeast (and Chicago) are nice and sick of the Irish (and Irish wannabes) this Monday morning. I certainly am. As much as I love doing nothing, I have a hard time doing nothing, so Saturday night I went out. I went to play pool with Agent Zero, this local chick that works as an advocate in the community. I call her Agent Zero because she's quite possibly the skinniest adult human female I've ever known. Anyway, we were at this pool hall and there was this band all shilleighly'ed out, sportin' shamrocks and green tophats and shit. The lead singer in the band was this chick. She was glammed out, all sequins and tall boots and shit, peroxided up and whatnot. I know she was fuckin' the band leader, because she had a horrible voice. She was really just forcing that shit on us all night. I was sorry I suggested pool. On top of all that the Spartans lost to the fuckin' Tar Heels in the midst of this bitch screeching out "Little Red Corvette". Remind me to never buy a fuckin' Corvette. Another thing: why do women always have unreasonable expectations? How come Agent Zero ordered a apple martini and wasn't satisfied. It's a fuckin' pool hall, dunn! Try again!

Sunday was supposed to be the day I spent cleaning up my apartment. No dice, kid. I went out and bought some rubber gloves, gathered up all my supplies in the master bathroom, and did nothing. The only thing I managed to do is change my bedsheets. I spent most of the day on the phone with TAD, which was a helluva lot more enjoyable than pouring CLR in every toilet in the house and scrubbing sinks.

I could really use a few more leisurely days in my life.

Peace,
KZ

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds good!

The Brown Blogger said...

But you got the toilets clean...

onefromphilly said...

I had a fabulous Saturday immersed in basketball. From AAU ball games in the AM, to NCAA/NBA ball all afternoon and evening in a smoke filled resturant/sports bar, with a bunch of crazed B-ball fans. Nobody cared that it was St. Patricks day...hell Georgetown won, Wizards won,
WOO HOO gotta love March madness!!!!

And.. hell yeah I too want my martini correct EVERYTIME!

Miz JJ said...

There is nothing in the world like doing nothing. It can not be topped.

Lol @ Agent Zero. We like to give all locals the benefit of the doubt, but often times we are forced to complain. If you can not make an apple martini then do not say you can make one. Simple.

Knockout Zed said...

@Anon
I try with so little to work with.

@Hassan
Nope. I sure didn't. Gotta do 'em tonight.

@OneFrom
All the sports spots were filled with fuckin' St. Patty's day revelers.

I wish I was back in my chocolate city.

@Miz JJ
Pool <> Apple Martini.
*ennnnkkk* try again.

KZ

Angie said...

I hate skinny chicks!

Knockout Zed said...

@Ang
Not more than me, sista!

KZ

Anonymous said...

Folks here were drunk and disorderly all weekend in the snow ice and slush. We had a Nor'easter on the Saturday. The parade in Southie was on Sunday. They showed people on the news on line waiting to get into a PUB?!?!? That's like waiting on line to get into a Starbucks... Why wait? Isnt there another one on the next corner?!?!? ((shaking head))

They roasted the new Gov during the Annual St. Paddy's Day Breakfast. He and the Suffolk County Sheriff Andrea Cabral were the only two Black people in the whole room. Looked like a green klan rally! I stayed in my house. ((shuddering))

I agree. "Pool Hall" usually means beer or "tonic"... if youre lucky, you get a clean glass
:-o

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

hire a housekeeper and enjoy more time doing nothing in a clean house..it adds magic to the weekends I promise!

La Diva Latina said...

Nothing beats doing nothing, except doing nothing WEARING nothing...

Knockout Zed said...

@Chez
I'll go to the store and buy drink before I'll wait in line. The "public" part of "pub" is way overrated. Poor Gov. Patrick. This is just the first of (at least) four. *sigh*

@Miss Ahmad
That's the option for y'all ballers. I gotz to clean!

@Curvy
Are you doing this to me on purpose?

KZ

aquababie said...

you go to poolhalls to get shitfaced drinking beer...not martinis. i prefer drinking beer anyway. i swear i think i'm about 20-30% dude or something.