"I miss u! I want u 2 eat my pussy!"
It's Saturday night and I'm trying to get work done. I'm behind like nobody's business and honestly I'm in a zone. I'm writing reports, closing out tasks, ensuring that Monday will be better than it's been in a while. My phone vibrates. I look at it and there's a text message.
"I miss u! I want u 2 eat my pussy!"
So now I'm out of the zone. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing. My pants get tight. I gotta focus. I see who it's from and it's that chick from Texas. Why fuck with me long distance? Everytime I hear from her, I think about burying my face in that in that big black ass like a g-string. It's after sex when I start hating her. Before I buss, it's all good.
But I don't reply to a dirty text. Never. That's evidence. A real brotha knows anything you put in writing to a chick will be later used as evidence. So I ignore it.
So I look at my phone and start looking at local options. Who can I dig out? My Satan' s Anus options are so limited anyway, but I'm dodging Carmel and Endo is out of town. Then I remember one of the chicks I met in February, the same day I met Carmel. She emailed me a couple of days ago telling me she's still looking forward to hooking up with me. She'd moved and she gave me her new number. I'm glad I put it in my phone. After all this time she's still down?!?
I call her. She's not home and I only have the home number. My only chance to try to convert is over.
I'm frustrated and I can't concentrate on work now. She got me.
It's Saturday night and I'm trying to get work done. I'm behind like nobody's business and honestly I'm in a zone. I'm writing reports, closing out tasks, ensuring that Monday will be better than it's been in a while. My phone vibrates. I look at it and there's a text message.
"I miss u! I want u 2 eat my pussy!"
So now I'm out of the zone. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing. My pants get tight. I gotta focus. I see who it's from and it's that chick from Texas. Why fuck with me long distance? Everytime I hear from her, I think about burying my face in that in that big black ass like a g-string. It's after sex when I start hating her. Before I buss, it's all good.
But I don't reply to a dirty text. Never. That's evidence. A real brotha knows anything you put in writing to a chick will be later used as evidence. So I ignore it.
So I look at my phone and start looking at local options. Who can I dig out? My Satan' s Anus options are so limited anyway, but I'm dodging Carmel and Endo is out of town. Then I remember one of the chicks I met in February, the same day I met Carmel. She emailed me a couple of days ago telling me she's still looking forward to hooking up with me. She'd moved and she gave me her new number. I'm glad I put it in my phone. After all this time she's still down?!?
I call her. She's not home and I only have the home number. My only chance to try to convert is over.
I'm frustrated and I can't concentrate on work now. She got me.
KZ
26 comments:
I know thats right, evidence is a mutha...
You'd be surprised to know how many brothas don't know not to put things in writing. I've used that kind of evidence MANY times.
Gotchya bitch! I don't geddit, why would the girl text you that if she knows it ain't gone be possible? Ain't she just winding herself up as well? Especially if you started texting her back what she wanted to hear? Pointless if you ask me.
Never mind the h***! You need to get to writing because I am waiting for that "eventual" book, LOL!
Focus, baby, focus! Don't worry about letting your dick out to play 'cuz you'll only get distracted and throwed off. Just wait until that book is published, becomes a New York Times bestseller, the money starts rolling in, and THEN the quality bitches will flock to your side. They'll be eager to please YOU instead of them texting you messages about pleasing them.
Hoes, I swear... once they find out a man does the do with his tongue, that's all they can concentrate on from there on out. Trying to take advantage of a negro...
What's the chick's name from Texas? Maybe I know her or have heard of her? Or better yet, let me mind my own goddang bidness, LOL. That pic of the 50dds is ready, but I can't get it to attach to my email. I must be doing something wrong...
lol.. you're too funny.. i think you're my favorite blog read... always got the cat on your mind..stay FOCUSED man!
Shiit I would have responded...She can have all the evidence she wants. On her face, neck, ass cheeks, bottom and top lip, bed sheets, kitchen table shall I go on ...lol
@Nsane
I'm so stupid, I was actually typing a response back until I thought about it.
I had to work it out. I got some "material" that helped me through.
@Chele
Sometimes you don't know until you've gotten burned by it.
@BJ
After a subsequent conversation, she told me the dude she's seeing in Houston is a "two minute" brotha. She was flashing-back whilst didling the button.
@Insanity
I don't know if you'd know her. She's in Houston and she's a kid (all of 25).
Those 50DDs would do a brotha good right about now!
@EOC
It's hard (literally!), but I'm trying to stay focused. "Work is hard work" (copywrite GWB, 2002)
KZ
@Slish (or should I say Slash?)
When your babe is sitting at your computer reading back some explicit shit you wrote to another chick, you'll remember that shit as long as you live. Trust me. I keep my tracks covered constantly now.
And this chick used to be one of my interns. She might forward that shit to women I know in Detroit. I can't have that!
KZ
Ahhhh, you're the guy who fuck the interns. I know you! ;)
@So Wise
I'm the guy that fucks the interns AFTER the internship. Not during!
KZ
"slipped out my under-roos sat on the toilet bowl and let the hand I hold the mic with..take controoool. Closed my eyes tight so it would seem more real. I'm thinkin about the crazy ways you make me feel. As my thoughts get deeper and a little more intense, if you don't know what comes next well you're just too dense."
Wow! Long distance Booty Call request, that's fantastic!!! I have new found respect for your tongue lashing skills!
((wondering how can I get down))
@Liquor and TV
How can you not love a woman that can quote the Pharcyde?
Yeah, I know how to beat off. But sometimes, a brother needs some "cush".
@Chezniki
Plane tickets are always good!
KZ
I love your honesty :)
If I can't wait to hang out with you...
and don't just happen to have frat business
when I come to town!
Now keep the focus!!
Dude.
First time visitor @ 9:25 in the morning.
Wowsa. You made me laugh.
Can't say I "PERSONALLY" have sent a text like that. But cha gotta respect a sista that knows what she wants out of life.
*smiles&shrugs*.
LOL @ slish. Hell I was gonna comment but he took the whole idea straight outta my head after hearing my post.
But screw evidence, you send me a text like that (replace cooter with penis) and you better be standing outside my door and ready to get with it. I don't have time for people who just trying to use up they 1000 text messages by sending out booshit cause it's the end of their billing cycle.
i feel like an absolute prude! when I say I would never, I mean I would never! but hell, it sounds to me like KZ got some good publicity out of it (giggles)
@SanginDiva
You really tourin' through here or you playin'? Don't have me geeked that somebody I "know" will be up in SA!
@MM
Welcome to the Munkee House!
If blogged about all the messages I get like that, you'd think I was lying. The difference with this one is she caught me at a time when I really had to concentrate on work and not perv out.
I prefer the dirty voicemails, though. I keep 'em forever.
@Stilt
See what I'm sayin'? You see? That was just fucked up!
@Miss Ahmad
Not once? You haven't done something a little naughty like that just once?
OK, here's a private glimpse into the kinky side of ol' Knockout. Do you know why I get so many explicit messages? It's because when I'm with a woman I ask her if I can do something to her. Whatever I wanna do, I ask her. Then I ask her to repeat the request back to me. "You want me suck your clit? Say it. Ask me." "Zed, I want you to suck my clit."
To hear her say something dirty gets me off. So I tend to get messages that are dirty. It's cuz they know me.
KZ
@CG
Who said I was such the lover? Not me. I just luv doing the oochie-coochie.
KZ
Hello Luv, Sorry to hear about the loss of concentration and the added frustration to this entire scenario. That why I make it my personal buz --to not to talk about it be about it. Butt-naked at the front door. (ring) (ring)
@In Denial
Ay, just stopped by your spot. Detroit, hunh? Do we know each other?
In any case, I'm glad you wouldn't have a brother "on froze" and not complete the transaction. That's the shit I'm talkin' about!
KZ
I think I'm going to send that text out and see what results I get...LOL! Such a tease...
A lot of men don't realize IM convos can also be saved. Idiots.... lol!
*LOL* @ material...
I bet you have plenty material, Cherokee included...
I finally got a chance to see her in a movie....
It was very distracting to say the least...*lol*, but I enjoyed it, hence, I came...*lol*
I had to drop by In Denial Hoe's spot...I found my new spot...*lol*
Big Sis, y i gots to be a HO? i mean if he can work it w/ his tongue y not make him work it?
and so no replies to kinky msgs? what abt just straight are u feeling me if so, let's get this cracking msg? do you reply to those?
one of these days imma find out why you got these women hooked
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