I realized that I don't talk that much about my boys on this blog. It's not that I have a lack of cats I roll with, it's that my tolerance for them cats is so low. Irritate me once and I won't see your ass for months. The only dude I hang with on a consistent basis is my boy Three. And that's pretty much because it's like we share a brain. Same thoughts at the same time. Parallel opinions and tastes.
Other cats tend to be harbingers of bad news. So this weekend when my phone rang from 3 of my boys (other than Three) I was reluctant to answer. The reason being the calls I get from these brothers for the most part are regarding Hoe Sightings.
"Hey Zed, guess who I saw your girl Pinky with?" "Hey Zed, your ex-wife Katherine is at the club with some African." "Zed, you won't believe who I saw Somi with!"
I'm all the way in Satan's Anus. I understand misery loves company, but why would somebody irritate me like this? These ain't my women. They are women I've dated/fucked in the past. I don't need to track them. I don't care. Everytime I get a message from these cats and I return it, it's the same thing. It starts off with small talk. "How you doin'? How's Satan's Anus? How are the hoes?" And then the other shoe drops. "Yeah, I saw Marisol the other day. She was with some African." I doesn't matter that I haven't seen Marisol since I was a sophomore in college, they feel I have a right to know.
The reason I get so upset when they do this is that I already feel so detached from my old life that it makes me inconsolably homesick. I don't care what these women do, I just miss being home, and being able to do the shit I want to do.
They don't understand no matter how much I try to tell them. They just keep calling.
KZ
Other cats tend to be harbingers of bad news. So this weekend when my phone rang from 3 of my boys (other than Three) I was reluctant to answer. The reason being the calls I get from these brothers for the most part are regarding Hoe Sightings.
"Hey Zed, guess who I saw your girl Pinky with?" "Hey Zed, your ex-wife Katherine is at the club with some African." "Zed, you won't believe who I saw Somi with!"
I'm all the way in Satan's Anus. I understand misery loves company, but why would somebody irritate me like this? These ain't my women. They are women I've dated/fucked in the past. I don't need to track them. I don't care. Everytime I get a message from these cats and I return it, it's the same thing. It starts off with small talk. "How you doin'? How's Satan's Anus? How are the hoes?" And then the other shoe drops. "Yeah, I saw Marisol the other day. She was with some African." I doesn't matter that I haven't seen Marisol since I was a sophomore in college, they feel I have a right to know.
The reason I get so upset when they do this is that I already feel so detached from my old life that it makes me inconsolably homesick. I don't care what these women do, I just miss being home, and being able to do the shit I want to do.
They don't understand no matter how much I try to tell them. They just keep calling.
KZ
28 comments:
Yea shit like that they could/should keep to themselves...
I hear ya on this. That's EXACTLY why I don't call people and rarely return a missed call.
Why must so called friends constantly bring up shit you don't care about? If I was interested that such and such was doing such and such then I'd probabaly contact such and such and get in on the action. DUH. Quit calling me with that boooshit.
lol @ "hoe sightings"
Aww, Zeddie! You really are homesick aren't you, African?
ooh I have girlfriends like that, and sense most folks know I have a quick temper and can throw flames from my tongue...they catch the business
Don't NOBODY wanna hear that mess!
Ya'll are worse than women. I have a friend like that too. Everytime we speak she has to give me the rundown on this one particular dude that I used to date. It's been about 14 years since we kicked it. Hello?! I don't know why she doesn't understand that I don't give a damn.
@Nsane
They don't and they won't. I don't know I they think they're doing me a favor or not. Everytime they tell me shit I'm nonresponsive.
@Stilts
They kill me with these updates. Especially on my ex-wife. "Dudes, I LEFT! If I wanted her, I could have stayed."
@SS
I don't think it's necessarily home I miss, it's civilization. Professional Black people, not bourgeous, just Black folks with goals. I meet them in drips and drabs here, but I miss being in the mix.
@Miss Ahmad
Sometimes I wanna blow up. Now I just get off the phone to keep from becoming a mass murderer.
KZ
@Chele
I KNOW most dudes gossip worse than women. Cats are always flappin' they fucking lips about somebody.
KZ
Awwww dang Zed I hate that you are homesick but think of this 14 more monthes in your 2 year plan. Tell those Africans that you don't wanna hear that crap and to go kick rocks.
Think about this....
Stewie: Cut my eggs.
Butler: [cuts eggs] Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie: Cut my milk!
Butler: I can’t sir, it’s liquid.
Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I’ll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won’t make it easy for you.
lol@Stilt. OK I thought I was the only one that rarely make calls. I don't even have a cell phone...nope. When I got rid of the celly, my life got 100% better. People can't track you down. I got a pay as you go phone for emergencies, that's it.
zed, sounds like you just need to stop answerin the phone..lol
If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.
i hardly call people. people have to track me down most days. i really don't feel like being bothered most days, unless it's my moma.
i actually like my moma.
Frankly, I think cats and dogs do that shit because they tryna see what your reaction is gonna be upon hearing about a particular person. If you say: "Oh yeah? You saw XYZ? What was she wearing? Did she look like she miss me now?" They will interpret it as you still being a little bit interested in that particular ex.
But if you say: "Nigga, I don't wanna hear 'bout that bitch. Fuck her and some nigga", to them that's saying it's okay to gone and holla at her NOW because you really don't give a damn about her; and that's what they been wanting to do all along. But they need to know if you would be cool or not about it. But they aint gone come right out and ask first; they have to try to run a Game on you, first...
I learned a long time ago to really contemplate the people I label my "boy" or "my girl". I only have one ride or die true Patriot in my life and that's my nig you-know-who. At least the majority of the time, when we rap, it's about important shit and not about bullshit hoes and niggas...
My girls no betta. If I have dismissed the bastard I don't want to know nathan about his azz...end of story. They call me talking about seeing my ex's I'm cussing them out...
Misery definitely loves company. You got the right idea, stop answering your phone at least until your situation is where you want it to be (cause then you won't miss home so much)
Hey I hear you with old friends. TDo they have a life - I guess not. Anyway sorry to hear that you are homesick.
Damm I guess men are more like women then we really think. That's women shyt right there. Hell I've done it more then enough times to know. lol!
don't you know when you stick ya dick in 'em there is a tracking device automatically inserted within their vaginal walls?
they are then on every friend's radar until they die. that's just how it goes.
Caller Id what a great invention. My boys know better. They don't come at me with that bullshit. They know the Slasher well!!!!
lol @ aquababie. Yea I like my mum too...
*lol* @ Nikki...
I think they do it because you don't really have that much in common anymore.
So they have to pull from the last time you did-
which was way back when you were with _________.
(you fill it in) BASTARDS!!!
@Mznewagenda
I'm assuming they don't know exactly what they're doing, even when I tell them. Sometimes people need that shit to happen to them. Empathy in the '06 is gone.
@Think about it
I don't get it. It's likely over my head.
@noage
If they tell me they saw one of my exes and leave it at that, I'm cool. The need to tell me who they were with and what they were doing is unnecessary.
@Liquor and TV
I had to igg one of my boys that called me at 2:00 am on a Saturday night to narc on this chick I used to see. That was insane!
@ON
The thing is I changed the people around me! They ain't even around! I guess I could change my number.
@Aquababie
I can't think of one phone call I look forward to. Not one.
@Insanity
I guess I only got one True Blue cat in my corner. The rest are transitory.
@RD
That friggin' phone is my only link to civilization sometimes.
@Phoenix
Shit, maybe they miss me being there, too. That could be why they call. I doubt it, but hey...
@Chris
That might be my only option.
@Honest
Dudes are pretty close-mouthed about their gay-assed ways. The gossip like old hens. Then it's all like "Zed, why you so quiet?" "Cuz my daddy loved me nigga."
@Nikki
Is that where my tracking devices be goin'? Shit! So that means you got one of mine, right?
@Slish
Them cats like to push my buttons. I'm a hothead. They wanna see my reaction, so they tell me everything that's likely to set me off. They're jackasses.
@Stilts
I like my mama, too. Except when she would call me and tell me she saw one of my exes at the mall or something. Yes, she did it too.
@Nsane
You keep changing your pics. They're beautiful, but we out here in Bloggerland need cleavage!!!
@SanginDiva
I think you might be on to something there. I went to college with most of my boys and it is kind of all nostalgia when we talk. It has no relevance to TODAY. The cats I grew up with are worse.
KZ
ZED,
This is a first. I FEEL YOU ON THIS ONE. I have one best friend whom I am going to visit tomorrow and we are gonna chill till Tuesday. She is the only human I trust with my soul. I am homesick today myself. And I always shut up old friends who want to tell me the exploits or the sightings of the Exhubby. Who gives a fuck?! Ya know!
Them cats get extra caller ID watch on my shit. I can't even afford to get down with that gosspiy bullshit and tales of woe. I'm like you bruh, I got one guy that's mr road dog, and that's it. I let them other cats stay on hoe watch... gives em' something to do.
@GBM
We just connected? Just today? Dang!
@Hassan
They are killin' me with this all this "Carmen Sandiego" shit. I don't give a fuck where she is!!!
KZ
I call those "historical friendships"...cuz the function of the friendship is signif, yet long gone. They just don't have shit else to talk about...esp if they've never seen the inside of the anus. lol
Poor KZ. :(
aww. poor KZ, you home sick... tell the truth, you know you don't want to know these gurls have a life after Zed... don't all guys want to believe the girl's vagina just dried out after them?
@Truthz
I can honestly tell you that's not the case. I'm not mad 'cuz they moved on. In most cases, they women they call me about I still fuck when I come home.
I just don't need updates from these cats that only call for shit like this. One dude had a new baby and he didn't call until he saw my ex with another man. What type of shit is that?
KZ
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