Hey Africans and others, what's happening? This morning has made me miss drone level responsibilities, where I just stay under the radar and wait until the end of the day. There's something refreshingly American about sitting the fuck down and being the fuck quiet. Let me tell you what's got me so nostalgic.
I had a meeting this morning on scents. Regulating scents because Wispy, my favority crybaby staff member has complained that Debbiee's perfume (among others) is making her sick. She's complaining of odors from other people's cologne, food, lotion, hair products, etc. Even though she's has a vanilla scented candle sitting on a candle warmer wafting that bullshit smell throughout the office. People's food aroma is bothering her? If food smells bothered her so much, I doubt she'd weigh 300 plus pounds. But I digress... (that was for you, Chele)
I had a meeting with HR to discuss "reasonable accommodations" for her ailment. She got a doctor's note, we gotta accommodate her. The bottom line is what it's been since I got here: She's a receptionist but she wants an office. Wispy will use any means she can to get a private office. She's either too stubborn or too stupid to realize she becomes obsolete in an office. She's been working here for 34 years without the slightest hint of ambition. Now she wants an office? Getdafuckouttahere!
So, I gotta proceed with establishing a scent-free policy for the office because of Wispy. You see, if she's not comfortable, nobody can be comfortable. She's an old baby. Shit, I'm not much for young babies. An old one can get choked!
On top of that, I got Pissy McNotwashhismitts trying to invite me over for dinner at his house. This dude is a bore and a kiss-up. I hate fleeting conversations with him. He's always trying to prove his worthiness to be included in the "big" meetings. NOBODY LIKES A KISS UP!!! You're not invited to the "big" meetings because your input is not valued, point blank. No amount of smoozing or asskissing is going to make you necessary. I say improve y'all household hygiene quotient and get the fuck outta here.
And that my friends, is upper management in small town America.
I had a meeting this morning on scents. Regulating scents because Wispy, my favority crybaby staff member has complained that Debbiee's perfume (among others) is making her sick. She's complaining of odors from other people's cologne, food, lotion, hair products, etc. Even though she's has a vanilla scented candle sitting on a candle warmer wafting that bullshit smell throughout the office. People's food aroma is bothering her? If food smells bothered her so much, I doubt she'd weigh 300 plus pounds. But I digress... (that was for you, Chele)
I had a meeting with HR to discuss "reasonable accommodations" for her ailment. She got a doctor's note, we gotta accommodate her. The bottom line is what it's been since I got here: She's a receptionist but she wants an office. Wispy will use any means she can to get a private office. She's either too stubborn or too stupid to realize she becomes obsolete in an office. She's been working here for 34 years without the slightest hint of ambition. Now she wants an office? Getdafuckouttahere!
So, I gotta proceed with establishing a scent-free policy for the office because of Wispy. You see, if she's not comfortable, nobody can be comfortable. She's an old baby. Shit, I'm not much for young babies. An old one can get choked!
On top of that, I got Pissy McNotwashhismitts trying to invite me over for dinner at his house. This dude is a bore and a kiss-up. I hate fleeting conversations with him. He's always trying to prove his worthiness to be included in the "big" meetings. NOBODY LIKES A KISS UP!!! You're not invited to the "big" meetings because your input is not valued, point blank. No amount of smoozing or asskissing is going to make you necessary. I say improve y'all household hygiene quotient and get the fuck outta here.
And that my friends, is upper management in small town America.
Peace,
KZ
11 comments:
Isn't that why they pay you the big bucks in management? To deal with everyones problems? I see my manager having to deal with incompetent fools (excluding me...of course) and I realize I may not have the patience for management.
Tell her to get rid of the candle, too!
"Wispy". You slay me!
You think *you* got it bad? I'm from Berkeley, California and know plenty of people who work for the city. Imagine the complaints there (e.g., being offended by someone saying, "Bless You", hence the "No Gezundheit Policy"). You have that category of drama mixed in with your everyday bamma-style drama - a mess! LOL!
Thank you God for delivering me from the evils of City government.
34 years? When does that heffa retire? How the hell did she get a doctor's note for that BS? I don't envy you at all. A no scent policy ... what-the-hell-ever.
hehehe @ "I digress"
I guess working in corporate america where shyt like that will get you a "lack of work" notice and a kick out the door isn't too bad.
i think i should totally look into a city job...it seems like my kinda place.
i mean hell i bet it wouldn't take me 34 years to get my own office either!
some lady at my moma's office tried to pull that mess on her. she went to hr and told them my moma's perfume was making her ill and affecting her asthma. meanwhile she was puffing on newports every hour on the hour.
my moma wanted to whoop her ass about it too. the old lady is a black version of wispy. nothing came of it though.
I was in a scent-free office with the State once. Unfortunately, some of the cousins in the office thought "scent-free" also meant, "soap-free", "deoderant-free", toothpaste/ mouthwash-free" and "detergent-free." Them the ones that always wanna close-talk, too!
((noxious fumes face)). I needed a vanilla candle at that job!
Reasonably Accomodate Wispy's a$$ out of the office...early retirement or something. You cant eliminate smells from a reception area, and a receptionist cant work inside a closed office. I could see if it was enviromental (fumes, smoke, rodent droppings), but perfume, food, hair gel?!?!? When shes got a candle on her desk!?!? Get the h*ll outta here!
I say let it ride; let her file a complaint with the EPA, ADA or EEOC or whatever and let THEM laugh her out of the hearing. There are workplaces with serious security and discrimination issues, folk coming to work with guns shooting up the place, and this one is complaining about smells!?!?? good smells!?!?? Crazy B*tch((shaking head))
Enjoy your weekend...
Man, people crack me up. I mean, we had an ordeal at my job years ago (damn, I've been there too many years), and the situation was laughed off because of the person's pettiness in the past.
i had a professor in undergrad who had been exposed to some kind of radiation or something on some research thing he was on. thus, he couldnt be around certain odors and scents. i.e. perfumes, oils. he actually had it on the syllabus that we couldnt wear perfume to class or else we would have points deducted!!!! LOL! he was cool as fck!
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