This dumb assed person who lives here (I refuse to refer to her as my friend anymore), Agent Zero, just got a foster child in her care. The baby is really, really new. Around a week and half old. She's a single mother with two teenagers and a full time gig, so she's busy as heck. The baby is taking up a grip of her time, but somehow she's managing. She asks me if I wanna see the baby.
KZ: Uh, no.
AZ: What? Everybody wants to see the baby. Why don't you?
KZ: I don't give a fuck about a baby. Fuck a baby.
AZ: What? Are you serious or are you just pulling some ol' Detroit shit*?
KZ: I'm dead serious. I don't fuckin' like kids.
AZ: How could you not like kids?
KZ: I just don't. I don't think about it. Other people's kids are fucking irritating. And when you try to tell them about their kids, they fucking get defensive. If I can't hit 'em, I don't want 'em the fuck around me.
AZ: You don't really mean that, do you?
KZ: Really and truly.
AZ: I can't understand how anyone could not like kids.
KZ: I don't understand how anyone could not like pussy. But I'm surrounded by straight women and gay men. I don't judge y'all, I just accept that shit. That's a two-way street. Accept that I don't like kids.
AZ: You are unbelieveable. You on that Detroit shit.
Her kids are Exhibit A in why I fuckin' hate kids. Those fucking kids interrupt her constantly on the phone, beg constantly,they're irresponsible, talk back, and they're lazy fucking kids. My mother woulda kept her foot in our asses. I blame her and I hope they find another home for that baby before she's able to raise him the same way she raised those other irritating little bastards. Arrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!
KZ
*This is Satan's Anus code for being belligerent or cynical. You gotta be on some "Detroit shit" if you don't trust white people completely or if you don't take being treated second class lying down.
12 comments:
I don't like kids and I have two of them.
@Sixy
LOL!!! That's not the first time I've heard that.
Conceptually, I love kids. They're small people, what's not to love? But man, "kids gone wild" is never fun, all that attention is never fun, dammit!
KZ
Do you have to be from Detroit to be on some ole Detroit shit? Cause I think I'm on it too.
The only kid I really love is my nephew and before that was his mother.
I don't have kids for a reason I remind people and that is most often me with blank stares and contempt.
Oh fucking well!
in the beginning, i only wanted one. i've decided to go ahead and have two. folk started talking about it will be lonely and stuff like that.
being around my niece the past few months has shown me how much work those boogers truly are. she's the sweetest thing. the sad part is her trifling moma is missing every little bit. it's the little things when they're small that mean the most i think.
I can't stand kids(okay I do like babies but after 12-18mths I'm done!), sometimes I can't even stand my own three.
I try to avoid being around kids that aren't mine as much as possible.
I ain't never been to Detroit, but I guess this Carolina girl is on some Detroit shit too. Why is this chick shocked that a man doesn't want to see a baby that isn't his? I mean not many men I know want to see some random crumb snatcher, unlessen they're trying to get some pussy!
@All Y'all
Poetry hit the nail on the head. What the fuck would I be keen to see this random baby? It's not her baby, it's not a relative's baby, what the fuck would a rusty old ass 37 year old n*gga wanna be in a hurry to see some random ass baby?
Chele, I knew you were on some Detroit shit the first time I ever read you. LOL
AJ and Aqua, I love my nieces and nephews too. I don't like 'em very much sometimes. Once they develop those shitty little personalities. If people are honest about it, they'll realize they don't LIKE most kids. Love is entirely different.
KZ
@ 1969 you are not serious...lol...
I loves the kids man...Until they start asking me for shit...Used to like my lady's son until he kept asking me to buy him junk food with my money when he money little fucker!! But I Loves the kids...: )
@Slish
Love and like, man. Love and like.
KZ
I can take or leave children. My response was similar to yours when people ask my why I don't want to be a children's librarian anymore. If I am not given the free will to beat someone else's child, I don't want to do it!
I always love MY kids; sometimes I don't like their asses.
And I like seeing babies as they pass on by in the arms of another; and not inside a dimly lit movie theater, an adult event or a place wouldn't normally have to be congizant of little impressionable ears.
What a lovely return to Blogger and Babee Cynics and Clams and shit...
don't like other folks snot bags either...and at times wanna shake the crap outta my own...why folks always wanna know if you wanna hold their baby?!?!? one end won't stop drooling the other won't stop crapping so you don't wanna hold either end too close.
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