Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Tagged By A Diva

Dammit SanginDiva! How U gon' tag an African? How am I gon' tell these people all my quirks and whatnot? Just for that, I'm gonna masterbate to your pics. (Like I wasn't gonna do that anyway!)

I gotta think of 6 things about myself I haven't told everybody already. Here goes:

1. I listen to some pretty soft shit.
Outside the hip hop and Coltrane, I got some pretty soft taste. Electric Light Orchestra, Billy Joel, Elton John, Peter Frampton. Yes, I am a Black man. Why do you ask?

2. I've only hired women I wanted to fuck.
Yeah, this is pretty horrible to admit. Everytime I've interviewed a woman, if she wasn't hot, I didn't hire her. Qualified or not. It's pretty illegal, too. Don't tell nobody.

3. I graduated from high school with a 4.0 and college with a 2.0
That's exactly half! African, what?

4. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to be a man just like my father.
That cat is a hard working, loyal, strong, and smart dude. It's hard to get there from here.

5. Everytime I play "Electric Relaxation" in my car I become the most ignorant muthafucka you ever wanna meet.
Bouncin', bobbin', swervin', gesturin'. In a suit or jeans and a t-shirt. On the way to work, a charity function, or to the grocery store. I become hood, personified.

6. I like eating pussy more than receiving head.
But you knew that, didn't you

I don't even know who reads my shit anymore. My blogroll don't reflect it, but I'll try taggin'
Chele, Coco, Honest, Nic, and ZiaMunkee


Nika Laqui said...

LOL @ #5 and 6...

You crazy!

Superstar Nic said...

Dang you taggin me?!!?!? LOL

Now, I have to admit I never would have pegged you as a “Billy Joel” fan based on reading your blog (smile).

LMAO off @ #2 and yes that is a damn shame!

I am impressed by the fact that you say you like eating pussy more than you like getting head! I ever met a man like that I would be trying to marry that muthafugger, LOL. These bastards down here in Florida love head much more…the selfish bastards!

Prophetess said...

Listen, Zeddy: I need a job. You gone hire me? LOL!

I like your answer to #4. My father was (and still is) nothing but a gin guzzling, wanna-be comedian. God, I wish I had some jokes halfway as good as his to tell.

I got tagged a week or two ago with the same thing. It was the most excruciating thing I've ever had to go through because I had to go deep for my answers. I boohooed all the way through.

You're the greatest, Pimp Daddy. Keep on shining...

Anonymous said...

#'s 1, 3 & 5 are me EXACTLY! I was bobbin' to E.R. on the way to work this morning as a matter of fact. :) My other "hood personified" song is "Bitch Bettah Have My Money"...but I don't blast that nowhere, I'm too ashamed.

Hey...answer my e-mail. ;)

Little Brown Girl said...

This is some bullshyt...I have never been tagged and when it happens it's you. Fukkin go figure!

*scratchin my head* Betta then getting must be the only one on this God foresaken planet. Did I already ask you where the hell I sign up??

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

It's so good to hear that you have a positive role model in your life...keep trying...

#6...I like that in you :) Keep up the good work...LOL!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

what in the sam hill is electric relaxation???

nikki said...

miss ahmad - elextric relaxation is a song done by tribe called quest from the midnight marauders album.

it was also part of the intro music to the wayans brothers tv show when it first aired.

Honest said...

I'm jetlagged and therefore ignoring your tag.

*sticking tongue out*

chele said...

First of all, you suck.

Secondly, you haven't actually banged any of the chicks you hired, have you?

Finally, you probably are more like your father than you realize. ;)

Disco said...

Everytime I play "Electric Relaxation" in my car I become the most ignorant muthafucka you ever wanna meet. "

YEAH BABY!!!! That and "Find A Way" and "Like It Like That"

We was in the back of the joint cooling out
And i saw this girl
Asked her if she like it like that
Nod her head yes, therefore i didn't stress
Let my beat keep knocking cause we rock it like that......

(as you already know since we're cut from the IDENTICAL cloth) I get JUST.LIKE.THAT with certain songs too!

Knockout Zed said...

I'm not crazy yet, but I'm tryin' to get in Sane. ;-)

It's a long psychologically complex story of why I like to give more than receive.

I might. You take dicktation?

My old man gets cooler and cooler as the time goes on. As a teenager and early adult, I gave that cat the flux. Every piece of advice he's ever given me has proved to be right. He's the only one who thought I shouldn't have married my ex.

Yo, that's a long assed email you sent. I can't answer all that stuff. I'll give it a shot though.

You still listenin' to the Pharcyde? I am.

I don't know. Sumtimes a cat face be gettin' cold. And sumtimes a lady needs a place to sit. And sumtimes two worlds collide.

You should have absolutely no problem getting #6 anytime you damn well please. Leave that twin model alone!

@Miss Ahmad
Quest? The Second Greatest hip-hop group of my generation? "Honey check it out you got me mesmerized/with your black hair and your fat ass thighs"?

Sam Hill? That's that cat from over on Central and 63rd!

My little sports and hip-hop dynamo. How come I haven't proposed yet?

Don't stick it out unless you plan to use it. hehehe

Yeah, I know. It's wrong and fucked up. It objectifies women. But if I got a choice, fuck it, I'm choosing the shit I wanna look at daily. If the women are equally attractive (or unattractive), disposition is the next eliminator.

I have not fucked a single woman I've hired. As the old folks say "I don't shit where I eat".


Knockout Zed said...

How's about "Rock, Rock Y'all"? I lose my mind on that joint, too. I swear The Love Movement is the most slept on CD in the world.


Disco said...

There is AB.SO.LUTE.LY no doubt that that album was THEE fuckin most slept on album to date. BAR NONE.

I'm waitin for the RE-UN-ION.... :-)

Disco said...

And er...umm...... "he's the only one who thought I shouldn't have married my ex......"

uh....PIMP..... you GOTS'TA be speaking of in your immediate family , because I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW all of your friends (namely MY ASS) were VEHEMENTLY opposed to that shit from the git !!!

clarify that one dude! Cause we (friends that is) knew that she was a salty brine of a bitch (yup, I said it.....)

love ya!

Knockout Zed said...

Ay, you talkin' about the love of my life!!!

OK, I can clarify that. None of my male friends expressed dismay. Every single one of my female friends did. I thought that might be some gender shit. But my mother liked her, so I proceeded. I love my mother dearly, but she gave hell to the best women and gave a free pass to Ookkla the Moc.


YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

OH mah DAYUM! A man that likes eating punani MORE than getting head?

MY Lawd!

Can I have your autograph?

Ever since Jill Scott dropped that line, "Should I just sit back or come harder", on her "Slowly, Surely" song, in concert, I've been stuck on "Find A Way". Hell I ain't even know that's where it came from until then.

Your admiration for ya Pops? Now THAT's whassup! off with Billy Joel and Elton.... but I'ma "leave a tender moment alone". Er'rthang ain't gotta me Cut throat ruffneck (even tho looking at stocky Negroes wearin' nothin' but some Tims and a Bandana .... kinda works fa me), y'all gotsta have y'all moments too.

Next, you'll be telling us you have aromatherapy candles in every room tho. *smirking*

Knockout Zed said...

Aromatherapy? Softie? Naw, not me. It's the music. The appreciation of a well written pop song. Does that make me soft? Maybe, but its quality work.

O.K. the pussy eatin'. By far the most attention getting thing I said. I love to eat pussy because I am a people pleaser. If I'm sittin' back giving head, I'm making ol' girl do all the work and I can't let myself relax and enjoy it. It might feel great, but it would feel better if we were both getting hooked up.


Little Brown Girl said...


No one shall be forgotten :-)

Sangindiva said...

Yesterday blogger was trippin' and I was unable to post my comment :(

It was very clever and nasty...
just like you-
just the way i like it :)
Thanx for filling out my tag :*

Chubby Chocolate said...

Billy Joel, huh?!

The song I get REALLY get ghettofied to is Fuck Faces with Scarface, Too Short, et al...Don't tell anyone.

I still read your blog!!!!

Hiring women you want to pork:
I think most men in power do that-We know you men hire us with that in mind also...
At least I've always known it.

Nika Laqui said...

Don't talk to a horny woman like that, ok? *lol*

Disco said...

you just fucked me up with"ookla" know that's my shit!!! LMBAO

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Now yanno you can't put 'eating' and 'punani' in the same sentence and NOT expect someone to take notice. LoL

I clowned about the candles because a friend of mine brought a bunch of Glade plug ins to work, and she works with a bunch of raunchy azz infantry Marines. They actually gave her money to buy more, WITH requests.