This thing is outta control. My blog is turning into a sex journal!!! Not what I was looking to do, not cool. This shit came all of a sudden, out of the blue. I'm leaving the subject alone for a spell.
How was my weekend, you ask? Was it full of sex? I found out two very important things this weekend: 1) That blowjob was not a fluke. Not at all. 2) One chick I'm fuckin' with still has her hymen. I felt it. It's real. How's that for inexperience, you fuckin' doubters!
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to some other shit.
E.T. still calls me and texts me on the reg. "Let's get together and have drinks." Bitch, that ship has sank. I have not spoken to her since this day. I guess some people just gotta be told.
My boss is a real square. I always thought cats like him were faking it, hiding some perverted assed persona underneath their exterior. But this guy really is a milquetoast, bland, tight ass. This cat blushes when I say something like "We're getting screwed!". He rushed his wife out of a piano bar because the songs were getting "kinda racy". What the fuck were they playing in a piano bar? 2 Live Crew?
That older chick from the Vice-Mayor's party sent me an e-mail trying to hook up. What do you think I'm gonna do with her?
Did y'all see Treach get shot in the ass on the Sopranos last night? What about Lord Jamar (Brand Nubian) as the shot-up hip hop star? What happpened the rap stars of the early 90's? They're getting shot the fuck up on TV, that's what.
I'm still on the hunt for a new couch. Wish me luck.
How was my weekend, you ask? Was it full of sex? I found out two very important things this weekend: 1) That blowjob was not a fluke. Not at all. 2) One chick I'm fuckin' with still has her hymen. I felt it. It's real. How's that for inexperience, you fuckin' doubters!
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to some other shit.
E.T. still calls me and texts me on the reg. "Let's get together and have drinks." Bitch, that ship has sank. I have not spoken to her since this day. I guess some people just gotta be told.
This shit makes me laugh to no end. I have a stupid sense of humor.
So does this. People have too much time on their hands, me included.
The women that have "Insane" in their moniker on the blog (e.g. Insanity, InsanelySane) are some of the realest chicks in this piece. Overtly sane.
When I first laid eyes on my homegirl Robyn, I knew that would be my woman. I was absolutely sure. Of course, she never was. Tells you how good my prognostication skills are.
The blog is a funny thing. I have had crazy ass blog crushes, sight unseen. I actually ached to meet broads I didn't know for shit. Shit came and went. The women never even knew it.
So does this. People have too much time on their hands, me included.
The women that have "Insane" in their moniker on the blog (e.g. Insanity, InsanelySane) are some of the realest chicks in this piece. Overtly sane.
When I first laid eyes on my homegirl Robyn, I knew that would be my woman. I was absolutely sure. Of course, she never was. Tells you how good my prognostication skills are.
The blog is a funny thing. I have had crazy ass blog crushes, sight unseen. I actually ached to meet broads I didn't know for shit. Shit came and went. The women never even knew it.
My boss is a real square. I always thought cats like him were faking it, hiding some perverted assed persona underneath their exterior. But this guy really is a milquetoast, bland, tight ass. This cat blushes when I say something like "We're getting screwed!". He rushed his wife out of a piano bar because the songs were getting "kinda racy". What the fuck were they playing in a piano bar? 2 Live Crew?
That older chick from the Vice-Mayor's party sent me an e-mail trying to hook up. What do you think I'm gonna do with her?
Did y'all see Treach get shot in the ass on the Sopranos last night? What about Lord Jamar (Brand Nubian) as the shot-up hip hop star? What happpened the rap stars of the early 90's? They're getting shot the fuck up on TV, that's what.
I'm still on the hunt for a new couch. Wish me luck.
Peace,
KZ
12 comments:
SHHHHIT!
you gotta tell us about the 'confirmation of the non-flukeness of the blowjob' incident, cuz i know there is one!
anyway, i can admit to having a blog crush on you when i first found this blog. then i realized you were a crazy bastid. i'm over it now. LOL
I too have a sick ass cyberspace crush on a certain male blogger. I want so bad to email him some pics of me, but I'm not sure...
A female blogger has a crush on me; we exchanged phone numbers and when we talked, she asked me if I was "down for the other team?" I said: "Girl, please. I don't fuck with other bitches, I don't get down like that, and I aint footing half the expenses for her to come visit my hometown in a month or two. Boy, I tell ya...
I like dropping by and talking with you, Zed, because we both have a weird sense of humor (as Saggies) and don't nobody get us but us. I know one thing: if I want a good laugh, all I have to do is refer back to your "You Got Thunder?" post. That shit cracks me up all the time. I be 'bout to piss on myself from the sheer hilarity of it.
That Chuck Norris shit is funny. Who the hell devotes a website to Chuck Norris? Hell, I used to watch "Walker, Texas Ranger" all the fucking time!
Thanks, Bro, for all the laughs and all the titillating (and scandalous) details about your sex-capades. You're the best!
Thanks too, for the "real" comment. I try to keep it real all the time. I only write about what I know...
a virgin? really? Wow. You know you have to marry her now, right?
Howling..
dude it's your blog do what you gotta do. HOWEVER, don't forget your audience, I can't speak for everyone but your life is highly entertaining from this vantage point.
Damm, I didn't even realize the shot up rapper was Lord Jamar damm I didn't recognize him.. I guess it's been a minute. Half that episode reminded me of the Boondocks episode when Gangsta Lean was shot up, except at the end he was being chased around town over some "brokeback" shyt with fellow rappers.
@Nikki
Let's just say I got two more this weekend. That's not a fluke, that's consistency. Word to the uninitiated, if you're not bringing a bottle of water to the oral session, you're half steppin'.
I used to plan trips to the ATL all the time. Then I thought "Look at all those pics, she gotta be conceited!".
LOL
@Insanity
Don't email that cat pics of the 50DDs. That shit'll drive him crazy.
If that female blogger does happen to check you out, please have the decency to sell the videotape on your site.
Insanity, you remain THE "must read" of all the "must reads". I love the way you think.
@Chele
I'm eating the pussy last night, right? I go for a little "digital penetration". Resistance. Membrane. She comes. I ask "When's the last time you did it?". She says "I guess you know the answer, hunh? I wasn't going to tell you I was a virgin. I didn't wanna scare you off." Scared? I'ma be the first to climb Everest!
@Honest
"Give me that Thuggin' Love". That Boondocks shit is classic! That cat's name was Gangstalicious!!!
Yeah, that was Lord Jamar sans dreads.
KZ
@CG
Yes, I am still actually looking for a couch. That's a whole other story, some more shit I haven't blogged about. I was just in the worst drought in my life, now I'm getting crazy offers. It's insane (and not in a good way like those two bloggers!).
Be Safe Zed, I worry about you. Dental Dam and all that latex protection.
Oh I love stupid humor too. I emailed that Chuck norris site to my daughter.
How did you meet a virgin?! And just how old is she? Amazing....Yea, you gonna hafta marry her cuz you gonna turn her out and she won't leave you the hell alone LOLOLOL
I think i just pissed on myself...LMAO!!! You are hilarious.
GET YOUR COUCH! LOL
Now that you are getting regular...um, er, service, you need a couch so you can move on to the next level. Think of it as an investment in your future Mack-Megacorp.
...dont forget the Febreze
:-o
@GBM
I stay safe, believe me.
That cat Chuck Norris is a force of nature!!!
@InsanelySane
I might blog about the blowjob and the virgin soon. I been focusing on sex for a few posts now 'cuz it's been on like crazy.
Awww, how the hell did I miss the crush? That fuckin' sucks! Chicago is, like, right THERE! Shit!
@SJ
She's 24 and she's a virgin. Every fuckin' thing I do is like "wow!" I doubt that I "buss it". I don't want the responsibility.
@RD
Where'd you come from? Who ya wit? I'm glad you stopped by. I gotta check out your page.
KZ
I KNEW Caramel was gonna gank yo ass. I KNOW her type!! Now, she got all in your "head"...
Lord Jamar hurt my feelings. I had a MAD crush on him from the Brand Nubian days. Now he looks hella crackish...
Hey Zeddie!
Roll by and see what us West Coast bloggers is up to... :)
Post a Comment