Kin.g Sh.it of Fu.ck Mo.unta.in

Things I know that I know:
When people stop asking you for shit, they are getting it from another source. Pay fucking attention!!!!
Everybody gets more complacent and unwilling to change the older they get.
If you don't believe you're worth it, you won't be treated as such.

Things I didn't know I knew:
People tell you everything you need to know about them, within a few weeks, even when they don't say a word. Pay fucking attention!!!
People are brave in the stupidest ways.
Superstition still outpaces good sense and consideration.

Things I wish I knew:
How do I get what I want from what I got?
How much is enough?
How close am I to getting what I want?
What else do I have to do?
Is this the best I can do?
Why am I waiting for the shit I want when I can get it if I really want it?

Things I used to know:
You can't trust THEM, no matter how cool you think they are.
Don't trust anybody, actually.
Marriage ain't magic.
I always deserve better than I'm getting.
Mediation reveals.
There's always another store open.

What The Fuck Ever

I'm frustrated as hell. I can't sleep. I'm highly irritated.

I'm irritated about work. I'm irritated about my life. I'm irritated that I can't see getting my dick sucked in the near future. I'm irritated that bitches keep calling me asking if I want them to suck my dick.

The shit that used to give me pleasure doesn't anymore. I'm sick of music or at least I'm bored with it. Sex is not doing it for me, and I used to love sex. I can't smoke Djarums. If I drink alone, I'll become an alcoholic.

I can't sleep. I'm managing money poorly. I'm eating shit that's good for me, but it tastes like shit. I'd like to pick a fistfight with my boss.

I'm bored with the internet. Reading in general, really. I'm sick of these corny hicks, of all stripes, in this corny ass burg.

Just a few short weeks ago, I felt like I was on top of the world. Now? I just wanna be done. Done with something. Finished with this job. Finished with mediocrity. Finished with arbitrary parameters that have nothing to do with nothing.

I'm just basically fucking EXTRAORDINARILY irritated.

KZ

Mind Games

Anybody that knows me knows that I hate almost everything. There is very little that brings actual joy to my life. It makes for a pretty miserable existence, but it's all I have.

I wanna try self-delusion. I want to immerse myself in it, to BE deluded. I'm not just saying this shit, I mean it.

I abhor small talk. Yet everytime I walk into the restroom, or a conference room, or just down the hall, I'm inundated with mundane, uninteresting conversation. If I could adapt my mind to want it, covet it, and absorb small talk, I'd be happier.

Then again, like everything else that I love, it would probably elude me if I really wanted it. If I craved small talk, I'd never get it. It would another one of those things (like more money, blowjobs, a career I like, etc.) that I just can't seem to get. But that could be a strategy, too.

If I actually desired getting hit on by trailer park chicks, being underpaid and overqualified, being asked overfamiliar favors by people I barely know, being told too much information by strangers and taking horses to water and trying to make them drink (a.k.a. supervising staff), then I could avoid them altogether. They'd pass me the fuck by.

It would be one huge mind game with the universe.

Be Easy,
KZ

Rose Colored Contacts

Hey peoples, what's good? I'm typin' like a muthafucka on this bad hand, trying my best to go forward and live life like I give a fuck.

I'm exhausted. I'm really tired of working. I'm not working hard or anything like that. I'm just tired of the construct. Getting dressed, driving in, sitting in meetings, following up on bullshit and leaving with a briefcase full of fairy dust and dreams.

I don't wanna hear about muthafuckas loving their jobs. If you work for somebody else and you love your job, here's a nice, fat cock for you to suck on. For real.

My support system is garbage too. It consists of my mother calling me and asking me how I'm coping. I got so many self-centered assed people around me, it's pathetic.

Muthafuckas calling me to talk about what they need from me, or to talk about their needs. I'm like "Fuck you. I'm doped up and sitting at home. What about my needs?"

I think everybody's support system has to be better than mine. Or they just think it is. I think most people are just one kingsized crisis away from separating the wheat from the chaff, from finding out who's real and who's along for the ride.

Yeah, I'm irritated as fuck.

KZ