Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Counting Backwards

Hey y'all, what's up? I am really having the most miserable time in my life. I can't explain all the old feelings this place dredges up. There are some really beautiful parts of this city, but I am used to being stuck at my grandmother's house in the 'hood. Too young to drive, stranded and shit. Niggas with mouths fulla gold teeth ("Great Scott, are you a thief?") and shoulder length jheri curls. "Ay, Dee-troit. What's up my niggah!"

I drive around Tampa I realize how shortchanged we were as kids. Like I said, I still fucking hate this city. Shit that passes for cool is a white suburbanite's idea of cool. When was the last time a Hard Rock Cafe or House of Blues was cool? Cats are still trying to make the blackest big city in America into "Hockeytown".
I'm not a family person. When everybody still lived in Detroit, I never saw 'em. In the same house it's hectic. It's claustrophobic. I know I'm supposed to savor these times because heaven only knows when the next time we'll see each other again. Tomorrow's not promised. I'm trying to make this work for me but it's suffocating.
Thanksgiving is that time of year. Extremely stressful. Family will make you lose your fucking mind. This is turning out to be the longest seven days of my life. And it's only the third day. It's time to meditate.

Easy,
KZ

11 comments:

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Sorry to hear that you are having a terrible time. I hope things will get better for you soon!

twin said...

happy thanksgiving spartan dog

Insaneblackwoman said...

My poor,lonely Zeddy:
Sorry you feel so miserable now. I wish I was with you so we could crack some jokes and bullshit around, doing dumb shit. As it is, I'm on my way to the House of Torture (my mom's house)for another colorful Thanksgiving holiday. I hope she don't make that god awful green bean casserole again. Try to cheer up and have a good time. Happy Thanksgiving, BabeeMunkee.

nikki said...

keep your head up, zed. you've gotta put as positive a spin on this as you can, cuz you can't let those folks make you miserable.

i've decided to stay home this thanksgiving cuz i didn't feel like putting up with family drama. families and thanksgiving together just makes for a stressful situation.

TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

Just stopping through to see what it do, Zed.

Robyn said...

Lawd!! Zed, you KNEW that you would have this type of visit when yo momma posed the question of you coming down there to you!!! What's the surprise (on either end: they should know yo ass really DON'T wanna be there unless you are a change artist wit'cho folks!).

Just TRY to enjoy it for what it is Zed and BLOG when you can't. Be e-z munkeebun.......

Deirdre said...

You still there? Damn that's not a vacation...you moved there right?

Hassan told me to meditate as well...*dee~dee sending Zeddy a big ol hug and kiss from the Chi*

alli-babe said...

man up zed!
85 degrees, tampa, free food, and being able to look back on this family craziness 5 years from now when some of these people won't be here on earth...PRICELESS!
enjoy that shit dammit!!

you'll be back in the heart of Satan' Anus soon enough, freezing, with bat-shit, and complaining because there is not an ounce of soul to be found in the honky-tonk bar you frequent so much and playing mediator/pastor/father to the woman in your office!

you coulda by-passed all dat and been here in NYC...*wink*

Chubby Chocolate said...

Zedster...It's temporary-Make that your holiday mantra.

Chins up.

Butterfly Jones said...

Big hugs to Zed - I know that feeling all too well. Breathe.

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

Dammit, I feel ya... I tried to skip out on my mom & my son, she just called and guilted me into goin over there... not really coz I feel guilty in the least, but just to shut her up. I rather stay home & marinate!!! Bahhhhhhhh, humbug already!!!