Hey y'all! To celebrate Post #100 on this highly esteemed piece of blog real estate, I'll give you something I don't do much of these days, a bona fide "Batshit" update.
As you know (or might not know) I'm sexually done with the woman I call "Batshit". I haven't been with her in two months. I told her we should be done with that part of our lives with each other. She caught major feelings so it didn't work for me. We're friends, though it's a tenuous friendship at best.
Batshit called me yesterday to help her with a computer issue she was having in her one-woman office. I came through and started screwing with the network connections. I look over and she's staring at me. "What?" I ask, dreading the next words out of her mouth. I recognized the look. "Why don't you wanna be with me?" she asks. I look down at the network router and give it that fake ass look of concentration, brows furrowed and shit. "That's not my destiny. I'm supposed to be with somebody else" I finally respond. "Thelma, right?" She's heard this before. Actually Batshit has heard this several times before. "That's right." "Does she know you wanna be with her?" "I tell her all the time" is the lie I respond with.
How do you tell a woman "It's not me, it's you!" They've heard that shit the other way around all the time, but the real thing is it's her. She's fuckin' unhinged! Between her zealotry and her disconnected logic, kickin' it with her is untenable. It shouldn't be done. But she's pretty, she's funny, and she digs me. Honestly you can't beat that combination. Especially for an egomaniacal muthafucka like me.
So Batshit, cool ass Batshit, starts slowly, quietly shedding tears. I feel like shit. I start looking at the router even harder, gettin' all concentratiousical (copyright KZ, 2006) and shit. "I can't fix this." "I know" she says, softly. I leave shortly thereafter, never looking back.
As you know (or might not know) I'm sexually done with the woman I call "Batshit". I haven't been with her in two months. I told her we should be done with that part of our lives with each other. She caught major feelings so it didn't work for me. We're friends, though it's a tenuous friendship at best.
Batshit called me yesterday to help her with a computer issue she was having in her one-woman office. I came through and started screwing with the network connections. I look over and she's staring at me. "What?" I ask, dreading the next words out of her mouth. I recognized the look. "Why don't you wanna be with me?" she asks. I look down at the network router and give it that fake ass look of concentration, brows furrowed and shit. "That's not my destiny. I'm supposed to be with somebody else" I finally respond. "Thelma, right?" She's heard this before. Actually Batshit has heard this several times before. "That's right." "Does she know you wanna be with her?" "I tell her all the time" is the lie I respond with.
How do you tell a woman "It's not me, it's you!" They've heard that shit the other way around all the time, but the real thing is it's her. She's fuckin' unhinged! Between her zealotry and her disconnected logic, kickin' it with her is untenable. It shouldn't be done. But she's pretty, she's funny, and she digs me. Honestly you can't beat that combination. Especially for an egomaniacal muthafucka like me.
So Batshit, cool ass Batshit, starts slowly, quietly shedding tears. I feel like shit. I start looking at the router even harder, gettin' all concentratiousical (copyright KZ, 2006) and shit. "I can't fix this." "I know" she says, softly. I leave shortly thereafter, never looking back.
See Y'all Soon,
KZ
10 comments:
Hell, how do you tell a nigga - "it's not me, it's you" Trust me, they don't want to hear that shit either. Hey, at least you could fall back on Thelma, I've made up worst lies...
good job! bravo muthafucka...BRAVO!!! You will hurt her MUCH less in the future because you and I BOTH know ya'll truly AIN'T destined! There's nooooo reason to have dead weight hanging on.....trust me....she'll be much better in the long run!
lawd lawd lawd lawd.
tell her it's her. her feelings might be hurt, but at least she won't keep pining over yo ass. maybe a little pain is all she need to get over you.
I was keeping up with the Batshit up date, but lost it quickly after Concentra....I can't stop laughing!
Sooooo needed that.
Batshit is making a comeback.... watch. Lol
In theatres soon, "Meds 4 U 2"
lol
Even when you tell the truth they don't believe you. I did the same thing a few weeks ago and it took dude several days to realize that IT'S OVER.
Just visiting and checking out your spot. At least you didn't string her along. Hopefully she'll get a clue and move on.
I thought I was on the wrong damn blog for a sec. I will be celebrating my 100th post very soon as well.
Congratulation on your 100th post and the new template looks good!
Keep on doing what ya do!
I kinda feel sorry for her. Her heart is broken. That's never easy. She'll get over it though, if it's not meant to be, it's just not.
does she know you call her Batshit?
lmfao
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