Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Be A Groupie...'s only natural.

I've spent a great deal of my life deriding groupies and groupie like behavior, like sweatin' some dude/chick that wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. I've always been on a "fuck-a-bitch" thing, so it's hard to watch somebody sublimate their own inate greatness swinging on somebody's jock/bra strap. But I'm getting over it.

I think it might be healthy to be under the impression that a famous person might fuck you out of pity or desperation. It's a boost to the self esteem to completely make an ass of yourself and volunteer for "cum-bucket" duty. I think I've gotten this groupie thing all wrong.

You know what else? I think it's a positive thing to let the person you're with no you have no self respect if the object of your affection is really, really attractive. And famous. I mean, your mate is alright, but they're not REALLY, REALLY attractive, nor do they make a lot of money, nor does anybody wanna take their picture. They are thusly undeserving of things like your full attention or common courtesy. Don't give they lame asses shit!

Fuck what anybody else says. Just take solace in the fact that you have good taste. You (and millions of others) have bestowed the "hot" label on your crush, meaning that they have their narcissism validated and you have someone you can look at well into your old age, when your mate is wiping your ass and feeding you pudding.

Be a fucking groupie. It's what makes this country great.



A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

you know, van hunt is the only artist that made me wanna go groupie status...until seeing him last week.

Something about the bald on top braids on the bottom look, the lemme go to the back room and get take a key bump-look, that maybe i'm bloated or maybe my stomach is just big or maybe later when i get you home i might have gas-look made me decide to keep my panties on.

being a groupie is probably more work that i can take on!

Blah Blah Blah said...

I have the groupie-wanna-be mentality... but then I also have the low tolerance for i'gnant miscellaneous bullshit mentality too...

Don Cheadle was it for me... after seeing him in person... well I'd still probably fuck 'em but... I'd have to have a couple of drinks and he'd have to buy me shit first... and even then... I am not putting in too much work.
So...obviously, Bloopty being a groupie is probably not gonna work.
Less your name is Oprah and I was a lezzy... millions don't talk as loud as billions, nahmean.

ChezNiki said...

Okay, I got the one about the Uncle... that had to be you, it sounded too familiar.

But I dont get the anti-groupie post. The last two posts are too deep for me. My brain has turned to mush lately... dont know why ((staring at ceiling, looking all innocent))

Liv For Me said...

Word to Muh on this..
*SIGH* Im on groupie status...fuckin with a dude who I put up high...
What that deal, Zed? U got groupie love?

nikki said...

van hunt is balding? OH HELL NAH.

okay, now that i've had my gross out moment...i've never wanted to be a groupie but i'll wifey up in a sec for a cat like michael jai white.

Knockout Zed said...

Think of the most reprehensible behavior a human being can do and project that shit onto Van Hunt. If that doesn't work, think about being in a regular relationship with him. Either way, the groupie love should subside as you think about washing his dirty drawers.

Everybody's fighting to eat Oprah's pussy. I don't think I want Gayle's hand-me-downs.

Those two posts are integrally related. In short, bitches are getting on my nerves.

@Liv For Me
You gotta give me an invite to your spot.

It's not the same in a REAL relationship. I'm talking about "Oh, he's famous and good looking. I'm about to scream at the top of my lungs because he just appeared in front of me!" That's the groupie shit I mean. I hate that shit.

Just as long as you don't scream everytime he takes off his shirt, I think it's ok.


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

Van looks like he might fart when getting a blow job...and that alone took away my desire for groupie status.

sorry to be so graphic:-)

Prophetess said...

What's up, Zedro.

I don't know why all these groupies in the world of blogging have me in their blog rolls, and keep coming over spying to see what I'm talking about. Contrary to what you saying, I'm glad I'm a loner; I don't really need validation from anybody about nothing I say, do, or write about. Groupdom status has never been for me, not even if I dig a mofo for real and can't be without his ass.

The groupies leave anonymous comments and then send me emails to come visit their blogs... like I wanna be a fucking hanger-on... That aint my style. I like being admired, and admiring, from afar.

aquababie said...

be a groupie seems like hard work. that shit seems like hard work! you gotta look good and be able to kiss ass at a moment's

Angel said...

so, groupie=yes.
f*ck a bitch=no.
got it.