Friday, February 03, 2006

The Great Unsaid

Hey! What the deal is? I know y'all gotta think I don't censor myself, but even in this anonymous little place in cyberspace, I still hold some things back. I don't know if I fear backlash or just negative comments but I keep a lid on a lot of my opinions. A few of those things have been bouncing around in my head. I'm prepared to be roundly dissed and generally hated. I know this is pretty much a continuation of my last post. I got a lotta time on my hands to think about this shit, so I'm ready for the heat.

Coretta Scott King - A courageous, phenomenal woman. It looks like back in the day that was some good fuckin' pussy.

Single women raising a son as an only child - I've seen it done. Rarely have I seen it done well. The saddest shit in the world is that family picture with just a mother and son. You may raise a cat like Kanye, a spoiled, hypersensitive, quasi-homosexual basket case of a mama's boy or you might get a hardened fuckin' emotionless automaton of a witless bastard bound for prison. In either case that's no good. Get that muthafucka a dad or a sibling, pronto.

The Theatre, African-American version - Ladies, I don't like to say these "playwrights" are emotionally manipulating your asses, but...these muthafuckas are emotionally manipulating your asses. Men, diss one of these modern day minstrel shows and you take your life into your own hands. Bad actors coupled with bad dialogue, goofy ass happy ending full of redemption and "I'll be good from now on" type moral lesson with gospel flourish. Y'all keepin' Tyler Perry flush with Anal-Ese for the rest of his life.

Carmel Corn - Ummm, delicious! (not all of these are gonna be that controversial!!!)

Blog Artists - Hey you! Poet! Yeah, I'm talking to you. I appreciate your attempt to be deep and shit. It's really quite noble. Your friends won't tell you, so I have to...you fuckin' suck! From the top of your empty head to the bottom of your talentless ass feet! You are not a natural, you are not insightful, you need to learn poetic meters, you need to turn off the fucking t.v., and you need to get to know your limitations. You aren't Maya Angelou, you're Monique Renee Jenkins. Find out what she can do well and leave the poetry to the talented.

Blog Macks - There are a lot of lackluster pumpkinheaded fucklipped assholes who are on the blog to meet hoes. They'll try anything to get down: flirt, stalk, make vapid assed comments, exaggerate, and outright lie about everything under the sun. Blog roll fulla pretty bitches. Pump up their "Importance Quotient" about a thousand every chance they get. They get pressed to meet Bloggettes offline once they make a little connection. My blog bible refers to Blog Macks as follows: "You shall know them by their wack ass analogies and incongruous, improbable timelines. If you come across these Africans, shun them, for they are the spawn of Satan."

That's it for now.

See ya,
KZ

19 comments:

Honest said...

Fucking hilarious!

Hook ups, break ups, make ups and feuds the blog world is beginning to look like real life.

Genesis said...

u r 2 funny. i have been going archive deep on your blog. i like the way u write...

i gotta co-sign on that blog poets. i hate when i find a blog and all there is, is poetry.

aight...back to diggin in the crates.

One

Superstar Nic said...

HAHAHAHA, Zed you are tripping me out. I’m truly LMAO at the “blog macks” and your blog bible quote. Those poor blog artists, you just crushed their spirits. You’re a mess.

BTW, yes carmel corn is delish.

Come give me your feedback on my curent post. I wanna get more male point of views!

Insaneblackwoman said...

Amen, brother Zed. To all that. Good to see you still you're grumpy old self. LOL.

Cutie Cola said...

That was good reading.....but the truth is the truth and sometimes it hurts!

sj-the-infamous said...

um, shouldn't you be out doing the super bowl ho stroll? i'm sure all manner of new pussy is in the D this weekend. i want a "brand new" story when you get back to the anus next week, playa....

Anonymous said...

I am just stopping by to say this is one of the realest blogs I've read yet. The part about blog artists and blog macks is just simply poetic!

TRUTHZ said...

well Zed, i wouldn't be me if i didn't catch you up to speed on something... single mamas who have boys are raising peeps like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, who would probably agree with your first statement while he's kicking your tale for making it, everyday. and yeah, some do come out a lil mixed up or hard core, but it's the same as those who are brought up with a daddy in the house.


ain't nothing no guarantee any more.

and you know the blogworld wouldn't be real if people weren't hooking up...give blogspot another year before it's like BP up in the place

Na$$ty Girl said...

I hear ya all the way, Zed. There's this certain female blogger who keeps showing up in your comments, thinking she's all analytical, and logical, and poetic, and smart, and intelligent and shit. But she's really illiterate as a mofo. She knows who she is. I visited her site; she could stand to learn some vocabulary and things...

Butterfly Jones said...

Zed - LOL! How come I'm missing out on these blog hook ups?!?

twin said...

I second that motion

Knockout Zed said...

I just got back from the "D". The crowds are fantastic. The women are amazing. Alas, once I'm caught, I'm done. Since hotel rooms were so high, I had to stay with a chick. So no interesting stories about gettin' my mack on.

I'm aiming at muthafuckas with this blog. If they didn't get who I was talking about, they might be too stupid to live. If people who I wasn't talking about got offended, I'm truly sorry. It really wasn't meant for you.

Chubby Chocolate said...

Ahhhhh, Zed! You've done it again!

Try Pop Secret's homestyle microwave popcorn. You'll thank me.

Anonymous said...

@ Chubs: Pop Secrets is messy...:-( Good but messy all the same.

@ Zed: Please tell me this isn't the result of me spilling the beans on Thursday...LOL
...but if so, they had it coming! lol

The_Practitioner said...

A wise person once told me that the blog world is simply an extension of Black Planet and other such related sites. People who have burned up their internet bridges on other sites have merely moved on to the next thing - blogging. I think there are a lot of blog macks operating under the guise of intellectuals (you know who you are). Me personally, I do my internet macking on yahoo 360 (lol). My personal opinion of 60% of bloggers are that they are socially innept and recluses. But they're great online. ;o)

Anonymous said...

OMG Zed, not again. Thanks for the advice on a single mother. However, I want to agree with Truthz. And no offense taken, I understand those are two outcomes of a black male without proper male influence. The reason I will die trying to make this not the fate of my boy.

Thats some real shit, along with the other shit you speak. Too real.

I somewhat agree with Serial, I mean I blog cause I talk tooo much, who gone sit and listen to all the shit I have to say??? I don't know anyone who would, so, I blog. That way I won't feel so crazy when I'm sitting here just talking to myself.

Knockout Zed said...

@InsanelySane and Truthz
My comments were in no way shots at y'all. This was a very specific shot. My apologies to both of you.

KZ

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

Internet Mack ------------------->


Come, let's share a box of Djarums.


*raised eyebrow & evil giggles*

brooklyn babe said...

This is your best post every... Blog Macks... ain't that the truth Ruth... lol.
"Please hammer don't hurt 'em...."
Loving it... lol