Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Sidenote: It's funny. I wanna talk about this chick I blogged about before, but I'd forgotten her "code name". And then when I found it, I didn't recognize any of the chicks I was talking about in that post except two. Memory is a funny thing.

Anyway, this chick named Shelly I used to see called me last week. The last time we talked was before Memorial Day. She wanted to come be with me for that weekend. At first I said yes. When I thought about it for a week or so, I changed my mind. I told her I'd be in Atlanta that weekend. Yeah, I lied.

So she asked me last week if she could come see me for the July 4th weekend. I told her I'd be out of town, likely a true scenario. I'm bugged. Yeah, I wanna bang out, but why are you trying to pick these long weekends and shit? She finally asked if she could come the weekend of July 7. I said yes. Then she tells me, "Good, because my birthday is the 8th, so you gotta treat me well."

That shit irritated me to no end. I was upset she was trying to spend "special" days with me. I went from upset to pretty sad when I thought about it. I'm just "Jump-off Johnny". If she wants to spend these days with me of all people, then I'm all she's got. And that's pretty sad.

She started talking about she and I being "lovers" which a find to be a gay fucking term. "If we were lovers we could..." blahzay, blahzay, muthafuckin' blah. Dream world shit.

I just wanted to write this shit down before I forgot.



Big Daddy Kane said...

greetings,brother zed, i say take what you can get - not meaning it like that. if a female is hollin' at you, even if it is just for a good banging... let her have the fantasy of "special days" and shit; in your mind, you know what you whats it gonna be. females don't respect us no way; have lost all respect for their kings.

before my wife cheated, she couldn't stand me. she loved me but hated my guts. she think i can't put two and two together. now that she has done her dirt, man, and my shoulder is cold, man, she killin herself with these hoops she jumping thru to get me back. but i aint left her. i'm just tryin to take my 'hood back fo' she destroys my dignity fo' good.

Blah Blah Blah said...

Why everybody using my damn moniker for shit that disgust/irritates/or is meaningless...DAMMIT!

Jump-off Johnny?!....but wait, ain't you wanna use them for Jump-off Jill? Not like you wanna wife anyone so...what's the problem?!
You confusing me yo!

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Your Blazay Blazay reminds me of the "Yada, yada, yada" Seinfeld episode. I know, I'm a dork...LOL!

But, I'm confused...why do you care what your encounted means to her. You said it're jump of johnny, so maybe she needs a friend. Are you upset that you may be her last resort? Is that what this is about?

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

do you think she wants you for your body or your heavenly mind?

Sangindiva said...

What's up Zed?
why you gettin' all sensitive on me?
It doesn't matter how she looks at you-
Do you wanna beat or not?
shit she has handed it to you on a platter and all you have to do is sing happy birthday and fuck!
Man- you slippin'!

Angel said...

hey, there's nothing wrong with her wanting to be your lover is there? i mean, not all lovers last...and if you are not too thrilled with the idea of her being one of yours, then at least it might be an "advantageous" situation...
~fallen angel

Anonymous said...

Hello, Zeddy Bear! I feel ya with that post. But I feel the same way. I've been doing it, and letting it be done to myself. I'm turning over a new leaf. I want to be the chosen one FIRST, not LAST, because that tells me I'm your last option when everything else is played out.

BTW: Whose lyric is your header? I hadn't heard that one before, and I Googl'd it, but nothing came up. Did you write that? That's dope.

And what that negro Big D. Kane doing up in here? Need to go somewhere and find a job, LOL!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Good point, that is sad. Yet, Miss Shelly is the one making herself the jump off.

Nothing against your macking ethos, but how is she gonna spend her birthday with some cat who repeatedly blows her off?

If she were to operate with the sense that God gave her, she wouldn't have tried to schedule a second date, after you knocked down the first without the suggestion of rescheduling.

Stupid is as stupid does. Don't feel sad for her. Women do this shyt to themselves.

Nika Laqui said...

OMG Dynasty, that episode was so funny, I can't wait to Yadda yadda yadda someone...*lol*

DramaFree said...

I agree with cocoa. She's the one putting herself out there like that. She knows deep down she's a jump off.

chele said...

I can't even say the word "lovers" without gagging.

If you give this chick her "special days" fantasy you won't be able to get rid of her ass. She'll go home telling all her people that you're her man and you did so much for her birthday -- when all you did was get her a sandwich and have some sex.

Knockout Zed said...

I don't want that shit to bite me in the ass in the form of bad karma. I wanna just hit, but at what cost?

That's the issue. I don't think she's soaking it in that I'm just Jump-Off Johnny.

She wants to get broke off, no doubt. But she also wants to feel like she's in a relationship.

@Miss Ahmad
She wanna be my woman. No matter how much I SAY OUT OF MY MOUTH that it is not an option, she believes it so.

It's not about hittin'. It's about karma. Since I know she wants more and I take advantage of it, I'll pay the price.

I don't know if it's worth it.

See, you get what I'm talkin' about.

That quote is from De La Soul's song "Itzsoweezee" from the Stakes Is High CD. I can't take credit for that piece of knowledge.

You still holdin' out on work bloggin'? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

"You'll be back!" - Scarface.

Anyway, you're right. I'm not saying I'm a mack. I'm saying it's sad she wants to spend her birthday with ME after numerous blow-offs. I kinda feel sorry for her.

"You can't 'yadda, yadda' sex!"


Knockout Zed said...

I guess she doesn't care, but I really feel bad for her. Bad enough that I might not be able to perform.


Maybe not that bad, but still...

Ain't that some gay shit? "Let's be lovers!" If I heard a dude say that to a chick, I'd be like "Run, he's on the DL!" It sounds corny as fuck when it's spoken.

See, that's what I'm sayin'. She'll romanticize it when I have her cleaning my bathroom and clipping my yellow toenails.


Anonymous said...

Zed can you really blame women for wanting a relationship?

Maybe if you verbaly express your not wanting to wine and dine, but just to hit it, if she wit it she is, if not she can ride....

You have to be stern and express what you want, without fear of losing...I mean what would you really be risking losing?
Its not like you gettin it regular from her...

You need to listen to the lyrics of that 36 Mafia song I got playin on my blog....

Thats YOU!!...*lol*

peep game...

Nika Laqui said...

Thats what you need to tell her...

"I'm not the type that get involved in long relationships (why)
Takin' trips and buyin' gifts
I'm sorry I'm not on the tip (what)
If u want romance
You should just stick who you already with (ok)
If you in that mood you can just hit me on that late night tip (ooh) "

That was me, on that last comment...

Honest said...

Well at least she didn't say "Let's make love" lol! bwaaahhha. Sounds like she's ready to make you see the error of your ways/change you and/or pray you'll realize how good her snatch is and make her the 2nd Ms. KZ.

Actually I don't know that and I'm just guessing because really, why would anyone spend their birthday w/e with some random dude I'm not "lovers" with.

Little Brown Girl said...

My Daddy always says..."my child, listen to the words his says, don't try to interrupt his actions." Classic mistake...if I can make him do it to me i can make him love me. That shyt only happens in the movies.

I feel bad for the broad too. You calling dayum near begging a cat to spend your money to come out to check him and any weekend will do. Not to mention you don't converse with him on a regular and your auctioning off your goodies on your birthday weekend...and auctioning to the lowest bidder (i.e. the dude who clearly is just not that into you!)

I swear it's shyt like this that makes me grateful my Daddy was a pimp and snatched my up by the elbow earlier to make sure I never got so low that I forgot my own worth.

Zeddie don't do it...I got my own selfish reasons of course *wink* but mainly this chick is lacking in the esteem area and you'd be making matters worse...she can't hear you...SHE'S FUKIN DEAF!!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

I have to agree with Royce's Daughter on this one, she's seems quite daft to me and who da hell is checking for a part retarded chick?

not zed, or hopefully not zed!

you get what you settle for african, please don't settle for entertaining stupid on their born day, that could prove to be problematic on many levels...

sounds like she's on some rebound fantasy shit to me!

Knockout Zed said...

I clicked on your shit at the gig and almost got my gig snatched! There was nekkidness errwhere.

I have said verbatim "I don't want a relationship. I'm just looking to have some fun. Absolutely no strings." That's what I said to her just last week when she asked "What do you want in a relationship?" What more can I say?

I say she's gotta have issues. All I've done is be honest. Honestly, Honest!

I don't want to be responsible for her emotional state. This is really fucked up.

I got an idea: Why don't you come to Satan's Anus that weekend and you can c.b.?

@Miss Ahmad
My phraseology is "mildly retarded". You'd be surprised how common this aliment is. How more truthful can a person be?


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

well in my experience when it comes to part retarded folks or people with ego so large that they can't hear you, things have to get real blunt.

quite playing beat around the bush and tell the broad to kick rocks and stop calling you!

that's much more effective than pussy footing,
(pun intended) if you need any help on how to invite someone out of your life i'm real good at it...probably too good, but i know how to make someone feel me!

although something tells me you get a thrill knowing you're wanted. (insert giggle)

Little Brown Girl said...

I just tried to check flights and all the airlines said they ain't never heard of Satan's sure you living on planet earth? LOL!!!

I'll come to visit and all three of us can hang out. We can do the movies and shyt like that...awwwwwwwwww maybe I can help her with her self esteem...sounds like fun right? Let me know if you're, me, and your lunatic azz friend Shelly *smile*

Nika Laqui said...

Sorry, you clicked on the wrong link...ny old blog link...*lol*

Anonymous said...

Zed - I agree with Miss Ahmad. BTW, no, I wasn't taking a break from blogging at work (tho I don't do it anymore...check today's post), I was on vacation...PR, African!

Back to the topic. You need to put your intentions bluntly... "I'm just looking to have fun" ain't cutting it. You ideally should say something like "I just want sex. Nothing more, nothing less." You CANNOT even place a "right now" in there...many chicks will take that shyt and run with it, turning the comment into a "right now, I don't want a lady, but I will in the near future. So give me some head and hang on for that ring, baby!"

True, it's blunt, but you gotta be that way with relationship-oriented women. It's in our genes.

However, I also agree with Miss Ahmad in that you need to cut this one off...hard. She is a stalker waiting to happen.

The Brown Blogger said...

Shakes head, chuckles....

And you wonder why we'll die singlr, huh?

So...Wise...Sista said...

I respect your emotional gangsta. Sometimes women are umm, "mildly retarded" or just needy and are unable to decipher rejection/reality. She says she wants to just bone, but she clearly also wants the gravy. You're all she's got so she's desperate, esp w/ bday coming. You're right, karma is a bitch. I swear I was gonna blog about this very thing soon. I think dudes who take advantage of this and say, 'well she knew I just wanted to eff" are so lame.