Friday, November 17, 2006

Hi, Gene!

Ay folks, I got a little situation to talk about. This is kinda graphic so bear with me a minute. It gives me ammo for my already skewed belief system.

I was in the restroom at work today, working out some issues and whatnot. Using the facilities. Making a "boo-kee" as my moms would so eloquently put it when I was 3. This dude that works with me comes in. I'm tense because there are only two stalls in the restroom, and I don't wanna sit next to nobody when using the facilities. First off, it grosses me out. If you're cool sitting next to a dude on the toilet, your orientation rhymes with "domorexual". Second, I'm "boo-kee" shy. The only time I use it outside of my home is when I absolutely, positively have to go. So you know this was a minor emergency.

He stops short of the stalls goes to the urinal. I'm saved. I look at his shoes and recognize who it is. The cat does his biz and leaves. What did I leave out? That's right. He didn't wash his fuckin' hands.

This cat was one of the main ones touting his wares at the POTLUCK WE HAD YESTERDAY. You know how I hate potlucks!!! Luckily I'd only eaten shit like pretzels and chips and shit. No homemade items. Nasty bastards!



Blah Blah Blah said...

He but his hands all up in the chips and

Umm, it's 3 you coulda held it 'til u got home... Like you normally do.

Your almost worse than the Little Jamaican...he's always on the toilet when he calls me. And between you and I...I don't ever hear the water running after he flushes...but I don't be saying anything to him. But best be lieve...he ain't touchin' nothing of mine. Faint film of boo-key all over his

Knockout Zed said...

He probably did rub his hands and ass in the pretzels!

And actually this happened in the morning, smarty!

Boo-key film?


Anonymous said...

That's why i don't touch anything in a public restroom (faucets, door knobs, etc) and don't eat anything at work that isn't in a wrapper...ugh...

Anonymous said...

Making a boo-kee. LMAO!!!

It's sad that ole dude didn't wash his hands. He is a nasty bastard!!.

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Dayum. I'm getting queazy just reading about prick fangas.

Just recently, I was at a store's restroom, taking care of my son, when this woman, of caucasoid persuasion, walks in and heads for the stall. She was dressed to the 9's, as if she just left Church...which is why I couldn't understand (nor inhale) why she did a gut splitting, mondo bookie and left without washing her hands.

onefromphilly said...

lol@ boo-kee

Anyway, we have a network at work. We flag everybody who we have caught not washing after "going". We keep a list amongst "US". And we make sure we don't eat anything that they prepare for the pot-lucks.

Others also on the list are those who pick their noses, pick their butts, and those with cats!!! hahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

hi-gene -- funny

boo-kee, huh? even funnier.

my dear son will only make a boo-kee at home which just thrills me to pieces.

Rashan Jamal said...

Nasty muhfucka! That's why I don't eat anything at potlucks unless it came from a package or one of my people made it. Can't trust these bastards.

Knockout Zed said...

They disgust me so bad, I'm thinking of only eating boiled food from now on.

That's what I'm saying. What does it take to wash your hands? 15-30 seconds?

She was getting out all that pent up "aggression". She also thought you might be there to rob her. She felt like washing her hands would just be slowing her down.

That's a good idea! That can't work here for me, but it's good to know.

Once again, Chele, I think I'm just writing for you.

Your son is just like I was at that age. Frightening, isn't it?

@T Cas
People's disgustingness (is that a word?) knows no bounds!


Miz JJ said...

I am amazed by the amount of people that do not wash their hands and who do not wash their hands long enough. Rinsing your hands under water does not count. That shit will not kill any germs.

I hate potlucks because they're gross and you have to pretend you like other people's bad cooking. If hit senior management I am just going to buy a bunch of pizzas and call it a day. Potlucks are stupid.

Knockout Zed said...

See, that's the way I feel, but staff really looks forward to potlucks. They planned this themselves. It boosts their morale. And if I don't participate, management is faulty.


Little Brown Girl said...

White folks!

Angel said...

hahahahahhahah! i agree with you with only using the work restroom in emergency situations. we have a single stall in restroom in her office (it's just me, one other hall coordinator, and our admin. asst. with our students working various desk shifts). anyway, our admin. asst. cannot be described in other way than GROSS AS HELL!!! he's a 50 year old, heavy set, "asexual" man that lives witha bunch of animals. yes, ANIMALS. he recently moved into "the city," but before he lived at his sister's farm where he had multiple dogs, cats, chickens, cows, horses, and birds!!! and uh, he too would always be the first one trying to suggest a damn potluck and even has the audacity to always be the first one in line when it's time to eat!!! he doesn't wash his fckin' hands either and none of us ever eat what he brings.

oh yeah, and did i mention that the year before i got here, he was out like three months because he flipped his pick-up truck trying to avoid hitting a wild pig that was in the road? yeah, he is the admin. asst. of ALL admin. assts. right? sadly, i have TONS of "those type" of stories about him--it is just plain ridiculous!!!

Knockout Zed said...

Yeah. It don't stop.

His last name wouldn't happen to be "Clampett" would it? Gotdamn, he's country!


Mr.Slish said...

You sure he just wasn't in a rush to get the Hell Out of that bathroom because of your STANKIN ASS!!! Maybe The DOO DOO smell was just too much ! Hands was probably shaking from the stench of whatever you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner....lmaof

Knockout Zed said...

That's just the thing, my boo-kee was smellin' like Hugo Boss. He couldn't stand the goodness emanating from my person!


Supa said...

Just nasty. You AND Him.


Hey Zeddie!

The Brown Blogger said...

motha fukka!!1

Brother, I got you on helping you transport shit on your future move.

Knockout Zed said...

Hey mama. Keep postin' them pics. I needs (yes, with an "s") that shit!

Imma take you up on that!


DivineLavender said...

Zed; I always eat breakfast before the potlucks and sneek in an early lunch. That is always my excuse...all of a sudden I hate onion, cheese, and a vegan. Whateva to excuse the massive germ fest of the pink people!

Nasty beige ass people!

Honest said...

Mofos are nasty as hell!

Robert L. Mack said...

Dude I thought I was the only one who was like that!!! Im the same way, I gotta have the BG's in order to mess around at work...I mean to their credit, the service clean in there quite often, but still....AND i gotta wait until like 230 or 3 because I can get a lil privacy..LOL..and then I thought I was only cat that look at people's shoes to recognize who they are..too funny...yep I bet dude is white too?

ChezNiki said...

LOL!!!I was just telling somebody the "I hate potlucks" story the other day.