Thursday, November 16, 2006

Closure Fo' Sho'

Hey y'all! What's up? I'm writing this post for Slish, who apparently thinks I don't humiliate myself enough on this blog. I didn't have much to write today anyway, so I'll give y'all the conclusion to the story on me and the infamous Grilled Cheese. Ready? Cool.

I'm thinking this was about 3 to 4 weeks ago. Grilled Cheese and I went out to this place to play pool. It was a good date. Everything flowed smoothly, conversation was good. After we left the billiards spot, we went to Red Lobster. It was packed in that place, but there is no other place to really go to get seafood in the city, and we were both sold on seafood. We sat for about 30 minutes waiting to get a table. Lots of room for conversation, no?

We were finally seated, perusing the menus. I was feeling good. Feeling like myself again. A regular cat doing regular things. It was almost like I was at home again. During the lull, GC decided to open up.

"I've got something to tell you and I don't know how to say it." I freeze. What's coming? Does she have a disease? A dick? A tail? I brace myself for the worst.

"Go on. Spit it out." She's looking at me with the saddest eyes. "Well, I had a housewarming party a couple of months ago when I bought my house. And I invited a lot of people, one of them being my son's father. Well..." The waitress came back to the table to refill water glasses.

When the waitress left, I finished GC's thought for her. "You're pregnant."

"Yeah, I'm pregnant. Two months." "I see." I took a long swig of water. At this point I'm thinking, what would my brother do? What would my boys do? What would Joe Nut from the Eastside Nutty Boys do? For some reason, I'm thinking of the most ignorant Africans I can think of, because this chick played me. She had all the opportunity in the world to tell me to push on. Shit, the incident that gave her that nickname would have been a good break off point. She knew she was pregnant then!

"I really like you and I'd like to keep seeing you, but if you don't want to see me again, I'll understand." Oh, I'm damn sure glad you'll understand I'm not trying to see a chick that's swellin' up with some other cat's seed in her!

Did I clown her? Did I grab her and say "let's go"? Did I show my ass? Nope. The food came and we ate. Then I took her home.

In front of her house she asks "Am I gonna see you again?"

"You just dropped a lot of shit on me at once. This shit is crazy. At this point, I can't answer that question."

She got out of the truck and I left without looking back.

Fuckin' Satan's Anus!



1InTheSame said...

Cant say I would have looked backed either...that is some crazy shit !! House Warming + Son's Father = Pregnacy (??)

Anonymous said...

Wow......the saga of ignant ass n-word shit continues.


Isha said...

Uuuuuh, speachless! Although you needed to be informed...BEFORE dinner was not the best time.

Interesting. Interesting indeed.
Guess she needed a little bed, floor or couch warming too huh? said...

That is crazy...ha! She tried to get a free meal out of you. When the bill came I would have pulled out my calculator to seperate the charges. LOL! Ooooohhhh! She wrong. She could have told you that mess over the phone. Holla!

nikki said...

lawd lawd lawd...

see, THIS is what happens when folk ain't straight up from jump. is it nicer to keep with status quo even when she know something that's gonna change the relationship? boosheet.

and why is old dick always appealing to some people? man, the situations folk find themselves in.

well, at least you get your closure.

onefromphilly said...

Did she actually ask you, ARE YOU GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN??? WTF!!!

Let me answer this one... FUKK NO!

You were a gentelman, you feed her fat azz!


Knockout Zed said...

That shit was bananas. Now you see why I didn't wanna write about this shit?

This was some of the most insane shit I'd ever encountered.

She got all the warming she need and then some, didn't she?

Exactly! The phone would have worked fine.

That's a hell of a bombshell to drop on a brother. She got over on my ass while she happily at Alaskan King Crablegs on my dime. I wanted to clock her! My best instincts took over, though.

She said she wanted to keep seeing me. For what? So I take the rap for this absentee muthafucka? I'm a loser like that? That bitch was delusional. That was the last straw in the SA dating scene. I'm finished.


Anonymous said...

Joe Nut from the Eastside Nutty Boys ... LOL

Look at the bright side:

At least she didn't let you hit it and then try to convince you that you were the daddy.

Knockout Zed said...

I coulda hit and she'd still be up a creek. To take a quote from the song "White Mansion" by Prince, "I don't know Bo but I do know math".


Honest said...

Well at least her children will have the same father. uhhh what else is there to say really :-(.

Knockout Zed said...

That's a good thing, right? He won't live with them or contribute to the household. He already has 4 other shorties in addition to her two, so they'll have siblings. It'll work out fine.


Dee said...

where, where, where do you meet these people?!

Knockout Zed said...

It's not the place so much as it is the city. It's not like I'm scrounging in the gutter. But you get what you get.


Blah Blah Blah said...

...she was a Ho...Fo' Sho...

I love that line from the 40-year-old Virgin

...I don't care what nobody says...grilled cheese and rootbeer floats...them shits is gooder than a muthafucka...

*Zed, I go it ALL in there for you...and get your mind out the gutta you know what I am talking about!!*

Little Brown Girl said...

Awwwwwwwwww I feel bad for her. 1 kid, another on the man...because of her current sitation she is officially a liability. Maybe in time she'll find someone but I'm thinking she gots a long while yet to be alone.

Zeddie I can't blame you on this one...that's some big ole' ugly shoes to stand in. She should have told you before you guys even got to dating...I guess she was scared but still she should have told.

BKBajan said...

Hey you. .. That was some really foul shit she did, you really should have gave her the twisted lip, dumb bitch look when she asked you if she would see you again AND make her pay for her half of dinner. You are really getting tested this month with the foolishness. . .

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering why she didn't invite you to the housewarming? I guess I need to go back and do some reading. Good for you for not acting a FOOL. She really needs to kick rocks cause she is on some BS!

Knockout Zed said...

Yeah, you got it all in. I wish I could say the same.

She shoulda just told me over the phone. I could have respected that. Even if she told me face to face, she coulda did it at a more suitable time. Hell, we played pool for two hours.

You're right about these tests. I'm all immature and shit. I can't handle too much more of this.

@The Goddess
I didn't meet her until after the housewarming. The "damage" was already done when we met.


Miz JJ said...

What would make her think you would want to date her? She's crazy. You were honest and somewhat nice about the situation. She is clearly delusional. Must come from living in SA.

Mr.Slish said...

Now thats a story!!! I was talking to my Boy Zeddie yesterday via the Phone

Me" Zed tell it"

Zed responds' Nah Slish its too embarassing"

Me " Da Hell it is. How many times have I gotten myself into shit on my blog! Write the story dude"

Zed " We'll see. Okay I'll tell it"

Yo bruh when you told me that shit yesterday.. I could just picture your facial expression. Ya Know. The one where you try to hold back from tossing her plate in her LAP!!!!! lol...

BZ said...

Damn, that sucks! I don't even know what to say. *huggs*

Knockout Zed said...

I don't know what would have made her think I would date her after that. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. Or her steadfast belief that I was wearing a "sucker's uniform" to paraphrase Dave Chappelle.

You happy? I told it. The whole time I typed it I was thinking "I hope Slish is happy now. I look like a herb".

The Slasher woulda dropped her off in the woods!

I'm just glad I can put that behind me and focus on some brand new shit to be bitter about.


Disco said...

in a word... tradgedy......


Knockout Zed said...

See why I didn't tell this story? Drop a bombshell like that before you eatin' $30 worth of crab legs on me! Ol' buckethead!


1969 said...

Asta La Vista.
See Ya.

Anonymous said...

*smh* but you know I had to laugh @chele when she was talking 'bout At least she didn't let you hit it and then try to convince you that you were the daddy. can yall see Zed on Maury are not the father... LOL *snicker*

Knockout Zed said...

I was driving down the street away from her with two fingers out the window.


It wouldn't have gone that far. I woulda look at the baby. No Zednanreh head or nose? Not mine.


Blah Blah Blah said...


when a chick might be cute....but when a dude's gay! can quote me on that.

Anonymous said...

I take great pride in being a sucka when it comes to women. I am forgiving to a fault and the whole nine.


is some ole "ima need you to go. just box that up and wait out in the car while I finish eating and leave your portion of the bill" type shit.

Two hours of pool, huh.

thats WAY more small talk than I got in me when you got a bombshell like that waiting for me.

Mr.Slish said...

Nope you would be wrong Zed...Slasher would have said " We Fuckin? "

Robert L. Mack said...


That sounds too effin similar to that whole thing that happened to me about a month or so ago....dag man at least ol girl told me before we started going out and what nots...i would have been pissed off at that Zed, yeah she played you...females can be on some BS boy.... See you should have went with your instinct from the grilled cheese incident...hmm i guess the BD was all up in her +grill+ apparently and left a lil +milk+ for her +cheese+.

again, things a doing just a tad better though.

Angel said...

hmmmm...yeah "1 in the same," that equation doesn't add up to me either... but let me ask you a hypothetical question zeddy-kins. flip the situation and put yourself in a female's position with exact same scenario. what if the dude was the one that said, "so yeah i had this house-warming...blah blah blah...and i got my daughter's mother pregant." my question is, should the reaction be the same or is it different because females are the ones that carry the baby...? just a hypothetical question...

BKBajan said...

Zed, its ok that you shared this, we got your back. You could have shared this with us when it happened and you wouldn't have had to dwell on it, we would have helped you work her out of your system. . . keep it moving chick.

The Brown Blogger said...


That is some straight nigga shit.

You did the righ thing in theory...

Knockout Zed said...

I can't imagine what would have happened if I wasn't in such a conspicuous situation (small town, city official, etc.)

She got me good. It had been a looonnnnggg time since I've got it like that. I mean, damn near 18 years.

A lot of thoughts ran through my head. I just wanted to get it over with. The funny thing is I've seen both of her sisters while I've been out. I shoulda served one of them up.

Can you believe I've had chicks defending her? "Zed, she wasn't necessarily trying to play you." Bullshit. We'd talked on the phone at least 10 before the first date and 10 before the second. She intentionally played me.

You're right, everything's a tad bit better now.

The reaction should have been the same. A dide with a no-account chick and he impregnates her not once but TWICE? He should get treated the same way.

This fucked with me for a minute. Maybe I would have gotten over it sooner if I wrote about it, but I'm definitely over it now.


Knockout Zed said...

You're right, I did the right thing in theory. I couldn't get grimy with it. I just took that shit.


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

not to be crass, but I had heard that pregnant P*ssy was some of the best!

you may have missed out:-)

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad I haven't. It's kinda overrated.


Anonymous said...


I think this one here trumphs my drama for the week. You

Superstar Nic said...

Damn KZ...I don't blame ya! I hate to admit it, but I don't think I would wanna be bothered with that shit either!

James Burnett said...

Found your blog through Angie Says, and all I gots to say is Dayum!

That was almost as bad as her tellin' you she's post-op.

I'm officially out of the game, having recently crossed the one-year marriage mark. But rewind the clock and I would've done the same thing as you.

Gotta give you props for being so civil about it.

aquababie said...

i hate sneaky heifers! that shit was straight up wrong. that's the kind of shit that makes you wanna smack somebody.

Chubby Chocolate said...

No words for that situation. At least she was honest with you instead of not saying anything until she starts showing...WOW, must've been some housewarming party.

Knockout Zed said...

I can't compete with YOUR drama on a week to week basis, but it looks like I'm getting close, doesn't it?

@Nik Nik
She got me and then tried to extend that shit. She's a bumpkin and shoulda been treated as such.

Thanks for coming through. Congrats on that one year anniversary. I only had a one year anniversary in my marriage, I didn't have a second one, so enjoy 'em all!

It's the type of thing that has me thinking about my moms. She told me to forego dating in this place. "Make sure it's just a pitstop."

I've never been invited to a housewarming like that. Though I hope to be soon!


ChezNiki said...

D*mn! That's just...ugly? foul? nasty as hell? Her loss...fa real fa real.

Hurry up and get out of the Anus, Boo. Those Anal Women give us all a bad name...D*mn! So sorry!

Also, you are not a herb for declining to beat that woman down in the middle of the restaurant(which prolly woulda been JoeNut's course of action) are a grown man, a gentleman, who doesnt want to catch a charge...nothing wrong with that.

T. S. Snowden said...

Oh My God! I'm speechless for real! Wow! She was wrong for getting you out in public to spring this mess.... I applaud you for being a gentleman in the situation!

Anonymous said...

Well now you know why she passed on talking to you for some grilled cheese. Food comes first with pregnant women.

Knockout Zed said...

Can you imagine how hard it was to maintain decorum after hearing that shit? I'm done with the little dating scene here for a minute.

She got another free meal outta me, so she played her cards right.

Damn! I hadn't thought about that! Maybe I shoulda picked up on that.

Anonymous said...


Pregnant pussy is only the best when you MADE IT THAT WAY.

no one wants to be tappin some other dudes kid on the top of the head.

Knockout Zed said...

That might be the better way of getting it. I've been there the other way and man, it's overrated!


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i think every one is being harsh on old girl, she's preggers not infected with ebola or some shit...

i dunno i mean other than the potential weight gain and extra mouth to feed she sounds cool to me.

an open honest chic who clearly puts out.

what's the problem?!

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad