Good morning, y'all! I hope everything's going well with you. With me? Not so much. You see last week I had a sleep study to see if I had sleep apnea. I got my results back on Tuesday and it turns out that I have a "mild" form of The Apnea. It seems I stop breathing 9 times an hour on average. I don't really see that as "mild", that shit seems "severe" to me, but what do I know? I'm just an African that barely got out of college. I leave that sort of thinking to the heavy lifters.
So anyway, I had to go back to the sleep lab last night, which I didn't mind. The sleep lab is in the Radisson, so it's a nice hotel room. Plus it's got a Sleep Number bed. By the way, my Sleep Number is 50 just in case anyone is thinking of buying me a going away present when I dip from the Anus. They attach electrodes and monitors to me while I watch cable and laugh at the hilarious antics of Z.ach Bra.ff and company on Scrubs. Those wacky cutups!
The thing that made this visit to the lab different from the other visit is that this time they were going to make me wear the device that would ostensibly alleviate the Apnea.
I tried on a variety of masks until I found the one that fit best. Then it was strapped on my face. Air was turned on and I was asked to breathe through my mouth. That shit was intolerable. I literally couldn't breathe. And when I opened my mouth to get some air, the strangulation effect was even more pronounced. I felt like I was going to die. Literally. No, I'm not being hyperbolic.
I kept calling the attendants all night. "This is not working. I'll just go home." They kept adjusting and adjusting until finally it got to a tolerable level. It felt like sleeping with a bad cold. At 5 am when they finally got sick of me waking up and complaining, they ended the sleep study. The attendant said believe it or not, when I slept, I slept well. Me? I say "Eh".
And that's what's up with me.
So anyway, I had to go back to the sleep lab last night, which I didn't mind. The sleep lab is in the Radisson, so it's a nice hotel room. Plus it's got a Sleep Number bed. By the way, my Sleep Number is 50 just in case anyone is thinking of buying me a going away present when I dip from the Anus. They attach electrodes and monitors to me while I watch cable and laugh at the hilarious antics of Z.ach Bra.ff and company on Scrubs. Those wacky cutups!
The thing that made this visit to the lab different from the other visit is that this time they were going to make me wear the device that would ostensibly alleviate the Apnea.
I tried on a variety of masks until I found the one that fit best. Then it was strapped on my face. Air was turned on and I was asked to breathe through my mouth. That shit was intolerable. I literally couldn't breathe. And when I opened my mouth to get some air, the strangulation effect was even more pronounced. I felt like I was going to die. Literally. No, I'm not being hyperbolic.
I kept calling the attendants all night. "This is not working. I'll just go home." They kept adjusting and adjusting until finally it got to a tolerable level. It felt like sleeping with a bad cold. At 5 am when they finally got sick of me waking up and complaining, they ended the sleep study. The attendant said believe it or not, when I slept, I slept well. Me? I say "Eh".
And that's what's up with me.
Be Good,
KZ
13 comments:
Hi my name is Angie and I have sleep apnea. LOL
You'll get used to the mask. You'll look forward to wearing it because you'll see a big difference in your waking hours (does that make sense?) There is a machine that starts of blowing soft and builds up gradually, by that time you've fallen asleep so you don't even feel it. Ask them about that feature.
I stop breathing 33 times.....how is that even possible. :0
Side bar: That freakin machine is not sexy, it's a good think TAD is already sprung - cuz that's some uncomfortable shit to spring on the un-sprung. LOL
Yes she is sprung too - I know these things.
@Ang
33 times? Really? That's unfathomable to me!
I'm gonna hate that machine. I know it.
TAD ain't sprung. Not even a little. She'd dump my ass in a second given the inclination.
KZ
nice blog folk - i feel what u saying
Sleep apnea does not sounds like a joke. It sounds scary. Take care of yourself KZ.
i'm glad to hear you're doing about this. i think one of my aunt has sleep apnea, but she hasn't been diagnosed. big ups to your health.
i think i need to do a sleep study, i think i fight in my sleep. i was swinging on somebody last night...they got knocked the hell out too!
@Torrance
That's for the props!
@MizJJ
Against all odds, I'm continuing to go to the doctor. Am I really a black man?
@Aqua
If it wasn't for TAD's issue with my snoring, I woulda left it alone.
KZ
Apnea sucks ass. My stepdad had it. Gym crush has it. I think I may have it myself. But I'm working on weight loss as a solution before I put that scuba mask over my face to "sleep" at night. I do hope you find a solution. From your blog, it doesn't sound as though you're killing to many brain cells (you're rather witty, lol). But, apparently the oxygen deprivation that occurs from it can have a serious impact on brain activity, so I'm told.
Anyway - hope you're doing ok! And I shall keep my fingers crossed for you on that bed. LOL
I have 2 friends that have (or are suppose)to wear the mask. I don't know how they do it. As a matter of fact they don't always. Which could be dangerous, so I hope you take Angie's advice and ask for the one that gradually blows your brains out!!
As BZ says, weight loss does help. I am full of useless information and I can remember seeing a program that focused on men that found that if the man has a large chest, when they sleep, the chest literally "falls back" on their widpipe causing them to apparently have sleep apnea. When the men lost weight, their chest and neck size shrank and their apnea decreased or ceased to exist!
And are you talking about the c-pac machine??? If so...... Angie and others are NOT lying....that shit AIN'T sexy.... but neither is not being able to breathe....
This black chick I work with and I were JUST talking about this yesterday because her hubby has it.
stay healthy dude!
Love your play of the words, 'sleep and that's what's up with me.'
Night-night. Sleep tight.
Tiff.
Dayum...IthinkIhavethatproblem...I set up an appointment and cancelled it out of fear..Now Shawnla is getting on me to take that fucking sleep test...That machine is not sexy...When we want some lovin from our ladies what we supposed to do take three deep breaths from that mask before the down STROKE!!!! ....
more sleep means more dreams...and couldn't we all use healthy dreams in this life of ours:-)
@BZ
I'm fat and I know it. In the meantime while trying to lose, I guess I'll be tethered to that machine.
@Robyn
Yep, it's the CPAC machine. I think I'm hot enough to overcome the unsexiness of that machine, but hell, that's just me! LOL
@Tiff
I'll try.
@Slish
The actual appointment is a hassle, with all those electrodes attached and shit. But I've done it twice, now I'm done and I know. It's good to know. Shawnla will thank you, trust me.
I think you got it. Snatch the mask off and eat the snatch. LOL
@Miss Ahmad
I guess you're right.
KZ
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