Wednesday, September 05, 2007

As I Drift Off To Sleep...

I hope I don't die in my sleep. My porn collection is brutal. I think my mother would have to disown me once she saw it. Can I will that shit to somebody? I'll let Three be the executor of my will and just leave him the good porn. I'll send the amateur porn to the Smithsonian.

Who's pussy smells the worst? I'll bet it's Amy Winehouse's shit. Or Courteney Love. Nah, fuck that! Britney's gotta have a pussy like an Roman catacomb. It's probably New York from Flavor of Love. It looks like her breath AND pussy stank.

I could really use a Whopper. I haven't eaten beef in 13 years, but a Whopper would hit the spot. Why not? I mean, hell, it's not like it's against my religion or something. It's just a choice I made. BK is right up the street. I bet I could just go in pajamas, right up to the drive thru window. My pajamas ain't got no pockets. Where would I put the money? Plus, I'm pretty tired. Man, fuck it.

I hope this is just a general itch and not something catchy. Wow, scratching is the best thing ever invented. I think I'll just rest my hand down here.

I really should change these sheets. What the fuck have I been thinking?

I gotta meet with this bastard first thing in the morning. I gotta make up a progress report. I haven't done shit in weeks. I'm pretty quick on my feet. I hate this asshole. Fuckin' milkfaced coward.

Harry Dean Stanton! That's his fuckin' name. Harry muthafuckin' Dean muthafuckin' Stanton!

Who the fuck is calling me? My dick don't reach to Texas. Why are you calling me at 1:30?

"Now there she goes again the dopest Ethiopian and now the world around me begins movin' in slow motion..."

I could still make a demo. I'm not that old. I still got it. Maybe. Shit.




Nexgrl said...

How do you manage to fall asleep with all of those random thoughts roaming around in your mind?

ChezNiki said...

A sign of intellegence... or OCD.

My friends' apartment caught fire and her fam came up to help her move to the new spot. They were cleaning the bedroom and her mom, of all people, found her box of charred sex toys...

...being an engineer, she explained to her mom that the burnt plastic would be toxic, so it would be best to just throw them away LOL!

1969 said...

Blogging while sleepy is never a good thing. LOL

Blah Blah Blah said...

Good thing you drifted off to sleep touching meat rather than eating some... you'd probably get sick after all these years. Itching in that area is suspect...get that checked TAD would beat your ass!

11:00...I'll be waiting for you at the gate with the ticket... just sayin', you could make it happen if you wanted to!
I know...possible but highly improbable.

Wiggity wiggity wack yo!
*I just needed to see it actually written*

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

your dick doesn't reach to Texas huh?
Not that you have a girlfriend but your dick doesn't reach...

Knockout Zed said...

I wish I had visions of sugarplums, instead.

Damn, I'd hate for my mom to see "African Assfuckers" in my closet post death.

I blog drunk all the time, though.

The scratching did me well. I'm cured.

Wickety-wack, indeed.

Right, I was half asleep. That's my Id at work. I thought about my girlfriend the next morning.


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

she's very pretty your girlfriend. i would hang on tight if i were you..

Angel said...

"...whenever she happens to walk by why does the apple of my eye
overlook and disregard my feelings no matter how much I try...?" i'm withcu boo. i'm right witchu.