I was driving into work today and my cell phone rang. It was my secretary. Someone was looking for the cord that hooks the projector to the laptop. It was on my file cabinet. Easy enough to solve.
When I finally got into the office, I had literally 5 people waiting to talk to me about one issue or another. Don't fucking talk to me before my coat is off and coffee in my hand! I'm telling them to wait, hold on, I'm not ready yet. OK, let the onslaught begin.
Five people, five relatively easy answers. Go sit the fuck down!
The phone rings. And rings. And rings. Three phone calls, three questions answered.
The phone rings again. It's Wispy. I haven't have to talk to this fat bitch in a good six months. Now I'm on the phone with this land manatee, and I know it won't end well. "I need to talk you about something very important." It's never important. Not ever. "Go talk to your supervisor." "He'll just blow me off." Bitch, because it's not important!!! "Well, let me talk to him and see if it should come to my level." "Fine, I'll just go over to city hall then and talk to HR."
This is the part that makes me wish I was the director and not just deputy. I would have told that cave whore to go and tell whomever the fuck would listen to her, as long as it wasn't me. But my boss has spent his entire career here making sure shit stays "in-house", even little petty shit. So I had to respond a different way.
"OK, I have a minute right now." It was 8:40. I got in at 8:30.
So she ambles her ass past the twin obstacles of load bearing walls and donuts to make it to my office.
Artist's rendering
She starts into the diatribe about how the other managers ignore her pleas for more technical training, how she's asked for it for years and been rebuked one way or another. Then she talks about how valuable she is the the city, how she's been doing so much work above and beyond what the other "girls" do. Then Wispy begins tearing up and asking why she wasn't allowed to go to today's technical training session. It's unfair that LaVeronica gets to go, but she can't. Now I see. That African bitch gets a few hours off the phones to go learn something, I deserve AT LEAST that. I tell her "Well LaVeronica has long expressed interest in that technical training. This is the very first I've heard of you interest in any training. In fact, when I sent you to Excel training last year, you complained that I sent you to a training that you wouldn't use in your daily work. This training that LaVeronica is in would be more of the same."
She denied she said that about the Excel training and reasserted that the managers are conspiring to keep good training opportunities away from her. I told her I would see what I could do. And asked her to return to the reception desk.
There were 3 more people waiting outside in the halll to see me when she left.
Be Easy,
KZ
She starts into the diatribe about how the other managers ignore her pleas for more technical training, how she's asked for it for years and been rebuked one way or another. Then she talks about how valuable she is the the city, how she's been doing so much work above and beyond what the other "girls" do. Then Wispy begins tearing up and asking why she wasn't allowed to go to today's technical training session. It's unfair that LaVeronica gets to go, but she can't. Now I see. That African bitch gets a few hours off the phones to go learn something, I deserve AT LEAST that. I tell her "Well LaVeronica has long expressed interest in that technical training. This is the very first I've heard of you interest in any training. In fact, when I sent you to Excel training last year, you complained that I sent you to a training that you wouldn't use in your daily work. This training that LaVeronica is in would be more of the same."
She denied she said that about the Excel training and reasserted that the managers are conspiring to keep good training opportunities away from her. I told her I would see what I could do. And asked her to return to the reception desk.
There were 3 more people waiting outside in the halll to see me when she left.
Be Easy,
KZ
5 comments:
Zed...you are wrong for that picture. LOL
All managers need two things 1) a box of Kleenex on their desk for the crying employees and 2)earplugs.
Hang in there.
I had to step out of my lurker den to tell you that you ain't right for that 'artist's rendering'... LMAO!!! OMG I never snort while laughing, until now apparently. *dead*
Mannn, being that I'm not a morning person, I have no idea how you don't choke these folks out for waiting outside of your office knowing good-and-damn-well that you haven't had your anti-chokeab*tch elixir (coffee).
Anyhoo, I LOVE your blog. You are an inspiration to the peoplehaters across America, lol...
And I thought the Yuppies where bad.
So you’re the Guy. The one who has to figure shit out for everyone when they find out that their GED's, High School diplomas, and Liberal Arts degrees ain't working for 'em.
All I can say is keep a stack of quarters and copies of a map to the pay phone. And put a sign on the phone that says, "Insert quarter and dial 1-800-IGFASHT".
I hope that you started coughing and hacking and called it a day? DAYUM, that place would make me drink...HEAVILY.
land manatee
cave whore
you crack me the hell up
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