Talking to my mother is always an experience. Not always a pleasant one, but an experience just the same. My mother wears her opinions on her sleeves, never will hold her tongue about how I'm disappointing her or making her happy. She's pretty blunt and kinda "flat out". Lately when I talk to her it's about the wedding and how the plans are going. In between that talk, I told her I was going for the interview on April 1st and that it would be a good "get".
It was with a swell of emotion as she told me how she was sure I'd do well and that she was proud of me. It was one of the saddest moments in my life.
I know this is fleeting. The older I get, the older she gets, until I don't have her anymore. Moments like these are few are far between. This is positively the last person, including my father, that will be this proud of me and demonstratively express it. She's all I got. She's genuinely excited for me, not for what it means to her or any other thing she might get out of it, she just wants me to be happy.
People take that shit for granted, but immediately when you tell someone good news, they process what it means to them and temper their responses thusly. Being happy for you is cool, but I'd rather be happy for us, or better yet, ME.
Sometimes you don't even get that. You get feigned interest and REAL excitement about an upcoming sale at Macy's and shit. Or the new Madea movie. Or the new Jordans. Or some other shit a sane person is only tangentially interested in.
My mother is getting old and so am I. Those little moments on the phone that I took with a grain of salt just a few years ago are starting to mean much more to me now.
KZ
12 comments:
Zed...you speak the truth. And if you can feel that love for your mom now, wait until you have a kid and you can appreciate how much she REALLY did for you. Sounds like you are blessed. Good luck on that interview.
Touching.
I've been told no one in this world will ever love you the way your parents love you. This is becoming more and more tangible for me as I get closer to the time that I may lose one of them. As much as I have complained and moaned and resented them and been ungrateful, as many times as I have screwed up or disappointed or done less than I am capable of, they have been and still are there. I'm oh so aware of just how lucky I am to have them.
Sigh... Good Fortune!
sucka!! you almost made me cry. my mom's out of the country right now and i don't have anyone to phone stalk me.
moms are the absolute shit!
It's called Unconditional Love!
ain't it the best?
Good Luck on the interview, and I really mean that. If it's what you want I'll be very happy for YOU! :-)
Those moments should be treasured. Everyday throughout the day we are faced with people who want to know "what's in it for me?" Not with Mom, though.
Talk often and laugh much.
Your mama won't be the only one who will be proud of you... you're about to have a wife...and kid. Well, let's just say I am so proud of my dad and proud to be his daughter. You'll see.
Life is nothing but change...embrace what you have now.
Keep these moments close. I know if I could listen to him just one more time, I could feel better. When its gone all you have is the legacy of love.
*thanx to you, your ass made me cry, I was doing good all week! damn you!
It's unfortunate that we wait so long before we truly appreciate the gift that is Mom. Glad you are having your moment. Good luck with the interview.
K.I.M. said...
We are so *HERE* on that post. My mom continues to be my sounding board. I often wonder if my future life partner is supposed to take over her role of being my #1 supporter, or if only the magic of mommiehood brings that type of adoration for a child. Do you feel like your future spouse supports you in the way that your mother does? Should they?
@K.I.M.
The short answer? Nope.
The long answer is much more complex.
KZ
I envy you.
Arm chair psychology:
Why do you keep talking about death now that youre getting married. Huh? Huh?
Your parents will see their greatgrands. You dont get to die! You have to stay right here on Earth and suffer with the rest of us!
Besides. Who's gonna go back in and run the D when they drag Brother Kwame off to the slammer?
Ima send you the Jay Leno bit from last night
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