Friday, December 23, 2005

The Inevitable

Hey y'all. It's a beautiful day in the Anus. (Never thought I'd ever read or write that sentence in life!) . The boss is out so I'm in charge in this week and next. I made today a casual day, so folks are pretty geeked. I still had to wear a friggin' suit because of some meetings I have. My boss is a stickler about dress. I gives a fuck. I also plan to shut this bitch down early so I can make my way to Detroit. I got a lot of unfinished business there, with several women.

First off is Torina. This is a woman I've never been with. Aching to see a nigga. It's all status-related. I sucked when I was there, but now as I make a little loot and have a little title, so to her now it's cool. Back in the day, the term for her was Sack-Chaser. Now I guess it's Gold-Digger. Short assed haircut, tall, big booty, dark skin. She'll be fucking for free tonight. I'm on some Biggie/R. Kelly shit. Torina, I'm fuckin' you tonight.

Next off is Pinky. Pinky is my ex-girlfriend from friggin' 1995. We broke up because I didn't wanna have kids with her. She's kinda dizzy and shit. That's why I call her Pinky. We've been in touch through the years except the short time I was married. We messed around right before I moved to Satan's Anus, but we didn't screw. She called me a couple of nights ago and said she was about to move into a serious relationship with the guy she's been dating. Then, she asked if we could fuck before that. I was taken aback. She's kinda like Batshit with her religiousity(word?) and shit. "You gotta gimme some!" You bet, Pinky. You bet.

After her, I'll be seeing either Big Fun, Lillie, or Tonya, depending on my mood. Big Fun is the default choice. Tall, dark and beautiful. Lillie, if I feel like listening to strange theories and laughing a lot. Tall, light and beautiful. Or Tonya, the wild ass, drinking and non-stop fucking broad that you can't talk to about anything at all. All she wants is dick, dick, dick. Then she gets melancholy when you don't respect her mind. Women!

The next up is Shelly. Shelly is a stand up comedienne. Funny as fuck and cool. She's not pretty by any stretch, but she is built ridiculously. The consistent thing about unattractive women is their insistence that they be taken "out". Anywhere. I've found that the more attractive the woman, the less insistent she is on being seen "out". She'll want to go out and try to hold my hand. I'll cringe, then I'll look at her body, and I'll smile and oblige.

The last on this tour is Fiona. Fiona was the first chick (there has been one other) to come to my door with a long coat, butt naked underneath. One time we had sex for 7 hours straight, with me cumming a record amount of times. I honestly stopped counting at 9. I used to call her the Magnificient. I called her yesterday to make sure she was still available. She implored me to call her. "Don't come home and forget me. I need to see you. Badly." Fuck! I'll be saving the best for last.

When I come back here on Tuesday, I'll be a shell of myself. A happy assed shell.

Enjoy Your Holidays,
KZ

17 comments:

Melle Mel said...

Whoa Zed... if all goes as planned, you should be exhausted by the time you get back to the Anus!!

brooklyn babe said...

*whew* you wore me out jus' reading that....
Be good babes!
Whom I'm kidding...just be careful
Bk Babe

twin said...

I want to be like you when I grow up

Insaneblackwoman said...

Papa Munkee:
All this sexing going on... don't forget to "cover" up, negro! Nine months from now, I don't want you writing a post about one of them broads being knocked up by Big Papa, okay? Keep it tight and right, alright, Babee? Have a good holiday and don't get into too much trouble.

@Twin:
you quit being so damn horny, too! You aint posted up in three or four weeks, making a nigga woman go crazy. As a matter of fact, I'm-a have to find my way to Michigan so I can give you and Papa Munkee a big ol' spanking. LOL

Insaneblackwoman said...

...And when you get back from going out "catting", Zeddy, I'm-a have pic of these nice 50dds posted up on the block so you can finally see what I'm working with. LOL!!!

sj-the-infamous said...

Dat's a helluva lotta pussy for a weekend, playa LOL Ahh the days to just have dick lined up waiting for you when ya come back to town...sheeit, I have neither the energy nor time, so I must live vicariously through you, Zed. Now don't get us knocked up or burnt out on this trip, k? Handle ya biz....

Anonymous said...

I'll definitely keep my eye on you. You are quite interesting...

Anonymous said...

I'll definitely keep my eye on you. You are quite interesting...

My-Conscience said...

Happy Holidays.. Check out my Dec 24th Post.

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MUNKEE KING!!!

Seeeeee... You gonna inspire me to eat up all my jello shots and paint the town scandalous in my mistletoe belt!!!

Bwaaaaahhahhahahahahaaaa!!!!

TRUTHZ said...

all in one day? hmph, i didn't think so. But seven hours, that's pretty impressive. got my mind working overtime over here...how many positions in seven hours?

Organized Noise said...

Sounds like somebody is definitely going to have a MERRY CHRISTMAS. I guess "enjoy yourself" goes without saying.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is work out to get that blood pumping. Drink ginseng, and if you like Guiness Stout, drink that, I hear it gives you an amazing boner.

Sounds like you have some work on your hands.

The_Practitioner said...

Wow Zedster you make going back home sound great. You appear to have quite the stable. I remember when I had a stable...awe those were the days (lol).

Bust one fo me playa. ;o)

Superstar Nic said...

I hope that your Christmas was VERY Merry! Mine was great! Take care.

Wishing You Very Happy Holidays!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't bring your black ass back home with nothihg you didn't leave with!!!

*grudgingly saying*...Have fun Zed!

Chubby Chocolate said...

Wow. Glad to read that you didn't go through your stable when you were home. I don't think you'd have any skin left on your dick by the time you reached S.A....Ok that was gross.